How can I tactfully ask for money/vouchers on a party invite?

[Hobnobfanatic]

I don't want to sound ungrateful, but after every party dd ends up with so much stuff she doesn't need (i have about 400 pots of playdough, 1000 crayons etc!). It just seems such a waste of other people's money, and we don't have room for more when dd has her next bday party next month.

How can I tactfully ask, on the invite, for money or vouchers? Or would it be too rude to do so?
Any thoughts would be gratefully received!

rude imo

This has been discussed before on here and I think the consensus was don't ask for money! Tbh I wouldn't really like it...

One way you could get round it is to say 'If you would like to buy a present, please phone xx for ideas' and then the friend can explain that you're saving up for something and they're co-ordinating money.

I don't think there is a tactful way of asking for money or vouchers, sorry. Rude IMO and very assuming.

If people ask you direct for ideas then you could offer it as a suggestion then. However, a lot of people don't like giving money and vouchers as gifts, and my DD would hate to not be able to chose a gift for a friend. So I would come up with alternatives if others don't like the voucher suggestion - books maybe?

Too rude imo, sorry.

Money - people will think rude - possibly even if you ask for donations to a charity.

Vouchers - oddly it might depend on what for - if you were to say book tokens, that might be thought OK - but it's not for sure.

In either case you will have to be prepared for people to make comments .. or for you to feel like they're making comments. Basically, if you don't want tat, then just say "dd has far too many toys so don't bring a present just bring yourself" or something cheery like that.

I agree with Bink, I'd ask for people not to bring presents at all, rather than the voucher option (except maybe for close family). Perhaps even a donation to a suitably worthy charity instead, if that doesn't seem to priggish?

Thanks, everyone. You've confirmed my own feelings that it would be rude to ask! I'm sure we'll get through all the playdough eventually...!

{whispering} If we get duplicate presents we tend to give the spare one as a present to the next birthday party we are going to . Making sure of course that they are not the ones that gave it to "us" in the first place.

Have only done it twice so far though.

Good luck with the present passing on.

I don't see anything wrong with saying 'no presents please' if you don't want to receive a load of token crap. Hard thing is how to get dd to understand this. I've had my kids return from parties with party bags more expensive than the present we've sent.

I hate the whole party thing and would be happy to ask for no presents for my kids but it's hard to go against what everyone else does/expects.

def cant do it

the only time this has worked was when a neighbour of mine asked that friends donate to great ormond street instead of gifts - this was because her child had been there - i thought it a lovely idea

Personally, I would hate to get an invite like that as I pre-buy presents when I see them in sales or through the Book People and then put them away. When we get invites, i first look through the "Present cupboard" to see if we have the right pressie for that person. If not, then we of course buy something. If someone asked for money or vouchers, this would throw my whole system off!

There's no way to do it that doesn't sound rude and grabbing, tbh.

Perhaps you could ask for NO gifts, if you don't have space. That can be done nicely - 'just want the pleasure of your company' type of thing.

I think the recycling presents option would be the best. And then put the amount of money you have saved towards something for you daughter?

The problem with asking for money is that little children enjoy choosing something for their friend and then walking into the party with a gift and handing it to the birthday boy/girl. It's part of the party. personally I would prefer to receive money (DS got 22 presents at his last party - way too much) but you will put people's noses out of joint if you do.

IMO, if she has enough stuff, you shouldn't be asking for anything else. Is tacky to ask for money. Or take the gifts and put them away for another time.

100 tubs of playdough can be used for party bags perhaps?

This is rude. But you could ask for "no presents".

My SIL said a friend of hers asked on the party invite for the guests to buy a present for a boy or girl. They had a lucky dip at the end of the party so every child went home with a gift.

Well, I wouldn't think it was rude, wouldn't bother me at all! Easier to just buy a nice card and pop £5 into it, anyway.

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