wedding etiquette - amount to give as a present

[GeorgiesFlow]

hello all,

I was hoping you could help me with the Uk wedding etiquette query.

I have been invited to one of my friend's wedding (taking place on Friday this week) and the couple have stated that they would not want presents, however they do accept money donations to go towards their honeymoon. What i am not certain about is what would be an appropriate amount that i should go for?

to give some background details:

• i will be attending the wedding on my own (no partner).
• I will be going to both the Town Hall ceremony and the reception - later in the eve (therefore I have taken the Friday off work)

understanding there is the evening food provided (not specified if buffet or sit down dinner, as I know the price differs considerably).

• we are good friends but would not say best friends (i.e. we would invite each other on birthdays, meet a couple of times per year etc, but not best buddies type of thing)
• the wedding is taking place at a London venue
• i have a decent job but also decent responsibilities (mortgage etc) so although I am not tight for money, i can't say i can just plash the cash everywhere.

What would you suggest?

Also, given that I am joining 2 different event: Town hall ceremony and the evening party, would you say that I need 2 different outfits or would one suffice? (as If i would need to change, I'd have to take in consideration renting a room nearby for the day)

Thank you!

I struggle with this every time I'm invited to a wedding, so just bumping the thread for you really OP.

It's one reason I'm glad we ended up getting married before our house was finished - so that we could ask for "normal" wedding gifts and didn't have to put our guests through figuring this out!

@pregnantncnc thank you! yes, I agree! was much easier when I had to buy presents. Even more when we've been given a present list to pick from. :)

Is there a large gap between the town hall and evening reception? I.e. are they not inviting you and others to the wedding main meal. If so I would give a bit less as I’m having to feed myself and they are being cheeky fuckers.

I would give £100 for a friends wedding. Although I hate when they ask for money.
You will only need one outfit.

Wear the same clothes unless a separate dress code is listed for evening (unlikely).

You need to work out whether you have been invited to the meal/wedding 'breakfast' which is the expensive part for the hosts. Or are you just going to the ceremony and then to the post-meal dancing, which usually involves some kind of light buffet late in the evening.

Only give what you can afford, any decent friend understands that some friends have a lot of money, others less. If you are in your early twenties you could go lower than if you're established.

If you're in your thirties, reasonably well-off and invited to the full wedding (i.e. including the wedding breakfast) then somewhere between £40-£100 probably.
If you are very young, or are only invited to the evening dance and ceremony then I think around £25-£50. At our wedding we didn't include any info on gifts for those invited only to the evening, some people did ask for the list, others bought something fairly small (£20 ish) they chose themselves, one couple gave us a cake tin with recipe and measured ingredients for cookies bagged inside, that was cool and probably cost very little.

Given you have to take a days holiday from work for a wedding where you're not even invited to the main reception meal, I'd probably not give the cheeky fuckers anything!
Actually I'd just decline.

thank you all for your replies!

Now it is starting to make more sense the customs around the UK weddings. In my culture the main reception meal is the evening one - stating 8 pm and on going for the whole night (!!). Thanks you your replies do I now understand what the wedding "breakfast" is. And yes, there is the mention of it in the invite (really sorry, did not mean to confuse anyone!)

ok, so around the £100 mark guess will be reasonable....

Thank you so much for all this :)

You only need one outfit. I would say £50 is enough, especially as it's just you.

I tend to go with £50 for someone I'm not close to, £100 for closer friends/family.
One outfit will be fine, I've never known anyone (other than occasionally the bride) to get changed

£100 is too much as you are not that close.
Personally I think £40 or £50 is fine as attending without partner.

I’d say £50 is absolutely fine and doubt anyone will be changing outfits.

£50 is very generous in my opinion.

£100 if you can manage that, £50 would also be acceptable. Please don't worry about it, they will be delighted with whatever they're given.

I hope you enjoy the wedding.

£50 and wear the same outfit.

If you wear a hat to the ceremony, you take it off for the evening. There's often a cloakroom, or hat table, or even a line with pegs.