Birthday Invitations/idea

[myermay]

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The idea sounds great but you would need to make it explicit that guests would be expected to pay for their own meals.I am sure, so long as you approach this bit well ina dvance, people would be more than willing to do so.

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I think it's easier to do this on the phone or face-to-face.

If I got a formal (written) invitation to an event including food, I would not expect to pay, unless the invite explicitly said so.

But if a mate said "I'm getting together a group of people to go out for a meal to celebrate my mum's birthday, would you like to join us?", then I would assume I would be paying for myself.

Very tacky. Sorry.

Seems to me that the drinks are more expensive than some food ... why not make it clearly for "cocktails" rather than a meal and then agree with the restaurant and preorder some nibbles (that's really what tapaas are for, anyway) plus pre-agreed drinks (maybe only soft drinks and beer/wine or everyone is offered a special cocktail) rather than letting everyone order. With that many people and a festive occassion, it's really the fun of being together that should be important, as long as there are enough drinks and snacks to make everyone feel good. If you pre-order it all, it should be manageable, and if the invitation says "join us for cocktails from 5-7pm at x restaurant to celebrate mom's 50th", you should limit the monetary "damage". If people wanted to stay or go on from there for dinner, then it would be easier to assume it's at their own expense.

Tricky one because if you do phone first, people may accept beforre realising that they have to pay fortheir own meal and as uch as they would like to come, finances may not allow it. It may be better to send an invite making it plain what the situation is and then follow up with a phone call a few days later to check they received the invite and are they able to make it etc.

DEFINITELY tell them that they have to pay for the food. I arranged a meal for my Mum's 50th, and kind of expected everyone to realise that they would be paying (as it wasn't in my house). However, one couple (older than my M & D, so therefore of the era where if you got invited somewhere you got paid for), assumed that it was being paid for by my DAD! He was too polite to tell them that wasn't the case, and paid for them...whiuch made me really mad, as I did later explain the situation to them.

All this left me feeling awful, so do not do what I did!

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