Party for 40th - fantasy versus reality

[Rainbowflower24]

For my 40th, end Feb I think I'll do a small gathering of the people I really like, with their partners and kids. Problem is, I have fantasy ideas about what I'd like to happen and a strong sense of the reality.
18 adults 15 kids between us. Kids 2-7 years old.

Fantasy: start at 6, eat snacks, one pot dish like chilli or some casserole, with bread and with beer and wine and punchbowl of cocktail. Dessert fruit and ice cream, maybe cheeses. Thats in the kitchen diner. Then we do drinks, chats and dancing with a disco ball and lights in lounge. Kids either stay up and dance or sleep upstairs where we set up mattresses.
There's also singing. Accompanied by a piano played by me - I cringe at myself bit that's my fantasy. I love dancing. I love a singalong. At 11pm or midnight people go home.

Reality: Not everyone will come. The kids that do come will be bored or cranky. There will be no dancing. I wont have the nerve to put up a disco ball. There will be no singing. Prople will go home 8pm latest to get the kids into bed.

How to get nearer the fantasy party? Any ideas?

It doesn't sound that impossible to get close.

Not everyone will come: Inevitable, but end Feb is pretty good timing as most people are still post-xmas broke. Avoid half term, give LOADS of notice of the date, and I reckon you'll get most.

The kids that do come will be bored or cranky: This is your no.1 problem to solve. You need kid-friendly activities, and someone to amuse them. Firstly, do you have a room (eg dining room) you could make a child space? Second, do any of your friends have teenagers - could you find a couple of child-friendly 14-15 year olds to play with / wrangle children? How big is your garden - getting them outside with fairy lights / some kind of activity (with above teenagers) then indoors with suitable DVDs & lego might do the trick.

There will be no dancing. I wont have the nerve to put up a disco ball: Provide a G&T-pot made up strong, and suitably tacky music from all of your teens. They'll dance.

There will be no singing: Invite the local rugby club???

Prople will go home 8pm latest to get the kids into bed: Not in my experience, definitely not if the kids are happy (and usually not even if they're whinging and underfoot)

I'm assuming you would need to pay the teenagers by the way!!!

It sounds brill op i'll come, you try chase me away at 8!

sadik we dont have a dining roon but the spare bedroom is quite roomy 20 square metres with only a sofa bed in it. We could borrow mattresses for the children to play/rest on. The teenage sitters is a good idea as then we can just enjoy ourselves and look in occasionally rather than having to be there the whole time. We dont have a garden and Feb will be very cold. But we can think of lego or sone other activity. Im quite happy to have them with us but they might indeed prefer to play. Maybe den building, making party masks/crowns in the kitchen diner.

I thought your fantasy was going to be heli-boarding in Alaska (that's mine!). You can definitely pull off chilli and a piss up. Talk about it in advance - tell your friends you're looking forward to a good dance and a singalong. It's your 40th and if they're any kind of friends, they'll want to make you happy. Put the glitterball up at xmas and just don't take it down.

Is it naff to ask guests for one song they love to dance to. And one song they like to sing. And set the expectation there will be dancing and singing. And that would be a great birthday gift for me. Then if they hate it, they needn't come. They are all good friends except DH brother but hes a musician so will ahve no problem with this. In fact I could make a playlist in advance of everyones favourite party song, and a song book of the singing song choices with lyrics. They dont know each other that well so will be interesting to see if they can guess who chose which tune.

Haha - heli boarding. I dont even know what that is.
Thanks for your encouragement. You're right. It's my 40th. I can totally have a disco ball.

That is a genius idea rainbow, make your friends feel included. As you say, its your 40th, do what the hell you like.

Sounds great for a 40th party with friends. I want to come teenage babysittes great idea.

Ban the DCs?

I did this for a milestone birthday. 80s theme, fancy dress, close friends and family only, everyone came and made an effort. Lots of alcohol, fancy dress breaks down inhibitions, nieces and nephews loved dressing up and laughing at adults, lots of silly games, conga round the house, multi coloured disco lights

Hmm, don't want to piss on your chips but I think some people may struggle with the singalong to the piano played by you. I would hate it, so embarrassing, but you know your friends, what do you think? If this is not an uncommon thing in your cultural circle, or they are the karaoke types or performing types, they might enjoy it. The children might enjoy it more than the adults so the adults might join in if the children get stuck in.

hedda yes it is a bit cringey, I know. it would also be loads of work for me to learn them all if i don't know them already. it is common to do a skit or perform a song or game for your host in this country. Less cringey sing-a-long options are asking some good friends to lead us in their favorite songs - We have 3 or 4 languages represented. Just 3 or 4 then call it a day. Or, projecting chosen songs karaoke style onto wall and people can sing, dance or ignore and slope off to kitchen as they please.

user glad you had a positive experience of a with kids party