HOW to people justify not inviting a little child?

[scarybluealien]

i just dont understand parties where some kids from the class are excludded.
how awful to know that some kid you are playing with is having a party, aand inviting some kids from the class, but not you? how cruel.

ok, if its a girls only parety, or a boys only i can understand. but otherwise? its just unnacceptable.

Was this thread started to confuse me further?

I am still undecided as to what to do for dd1's birthday ,end of nov.
Cant afford a big party and not much room at home for a small party and wouldnt want the mess to be honest.
I dont want to upset any of the kids by not inviting them as i know i would feel for dd if she was left out of a party but i cant ask them all.

Pelvic realises she has walked into a vipers nest

Christ no way would I have invited as many as half of ds's class, most of them made his life a misery
In yr 6 he chose one friend to take to Alton Towers for his birthday - he could have taken two but only one was good enough
However dd's party is sunday she is 4, her montesorri class only has 6 attendees - and great parents - plus my mum, inlaws, few other local friends
Sorted at home, decent nibbles, buy some cake in.

You feeling better Piffle?

Get someone else to do the hoovering

I wouldn't normally do this but I've had a large gin so what the hell!!

Would you all like to come to my party!!!!?

well my dd1 is having a party at the local soft play place which costs £15 per head -which means your point , scarybluealien,about it costing the same however many you invite, is totally wrong. Plus her grandfather ( yes, just the one grandparent - this is reality) would prefer to chew shards of glass than attend.

What a load of shite. You got what you wanted anyway!

ok at my sons birthday party this year we invited EVERYONE we had nearly 60 kids invited, we had a hall, pleanty of food, disco party bags and games. I didnt spend a fortune on anything, i started buying stuff in january even tho their birthdays arent until the end of may. I'm not one of these mums where i like to out do the last party that all the kids have been to, but at the same time i dont like the though of leaving any of the kids out. We invited all the kids in his class, then all of the ones that we knew well we invited their brothers and sisters then there was the immediate family to invite. I thoroughly enjoy throwing my boys big birthday parties, but i think this stems back to never having a birthday party myself when i was growing up.

What I don't get is this ..... WHY ARE YOU ALL TALKING TO SUCH A RUDE PERSON ?????

Im with C28 here, love big partys invite the whole class + some, friends, family, etc, always had a two part thing, party at hall for kids with as many family members helping as wanted too, then back to the house for BBQ for family and friends that went on after the kids were in bed.
DS1 now 10 has smaller partys now small group of friends go bowling, lazer quest etc.... But DS2 still has everyone.
Most spent on one party £500.
(i did have partys as a child by the way)

LO with regards to who is invited or not invited I find it is the parents who get upset not the kids.

DD had 4 from school and 4 from dance. We have done whole class parties and only viable if you can rent a hall for a fixed price or have a huge house. Most soft play and other venues charge per head and you can't do own food.

Calm to frenzy please, it is a personal choice.

Personally I find children's parties unbelievably stressful, but although playbarn parties can be easy, I personally would sooner take a year's subscription to the Daily Mail than have one there (although I believe that they are the best choice for lots of people) . Among the worst ones were for my dcs' 6th birthdays, partly because there were too many children who were too unruly, a good reason, in my eyes, for limiting numbers, especially when it's my ds's party & mostly boys (sorry!). Dd has always received a lot more invites than ds, & it does make me sad when I see him being missed out when invitations are handed round, although I accept that it's the child's/parent's choice whom they invite. The worst for me, however, was when a child who had attended ds's party handed out his party invitations the next day, but missed out ds. I thought that was the height of ignorance & meanness on his parents' part & am afraid that it still colours my view of his mum.

As I said its the parents that get all het up over invites, DD only had 4 from school so didn't invite everyone she had ever been to party of. I said name 4 she did and that was that. She got an invite the next week from a girl who hadn't been to her party. Should DD not have gone?

If you only invite the ones that have invited them then thats how cliques form. I explained to DD that she couldn't invite everyone and not to make a song and dance about handing out the invites. I have also explained that the same goes for everyone else and that they can't invite everyone too.

my daughter attends both a sn kindy and a mainstream kindy - even doing the food etc myself cost a small fortune and she had 10 children - a mix of children that I know she plays with at both kindies and some outside friends.

My il's live in the uk - bloody long way to come for a party, my dbs, sils and neices would also not come that far for a party. My mum has no desire to sit with a children's party. My aunt however came as she helped with balloons and doing a table balloon tree for dd1.

Dd1 had her first kid's party at 4 - prior to that small family dos. Her friends came to the park - played - had some food, played some more, ate cake, took their party bags and balloons and went home - yes party bags - not full of plastic tat - but little books, some stickers, some colouring in pencils and some sweets.

No intention of inviting a tonne of children - especially as dd1 has sn and too many children = major stress for her and meltdown as she cannot cope with it -t he noist nad excitement would be too much.

We are not on an unlimited budget and for me $100 would be a shed load to pay for a children's party.

Same will apply when both get to school and dd2 to kindy - limited no of children - close friends with whom she plays and interacts regularly.

dd1 gets invited - lovely, dd1 doesn't - no big deal. That is life.

Thankfully DS is an early August b'day so I don't have to invite whole class (def worth planning this if you want another baby!!!!).

Also - what we have done with DS's class at school is that for every birthday (no matter if child has a party or not) we all give 1,000 forint which is about 4 euros or 2.50 pounds and get one decent present - usually ask the parent what would go down well. We had one parent who wasn't keen but even she has come round to the idea now.

There are 22 in his class and we have a system of "class reps' in our school who basically gave every parent a note at the beg of the year - we take it in turns to do the collecting - teacher usually puts notes in bookbags for us.

Much cheaper than everyone buying and child gets a decent present.

Appreciate that not possible in all schools but worth thinking about.

Stitch, what on earth is the matter with you?