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Parties/celebrations

Whether you're planning a birthday or a hen do, you'll find plenty of ideas for your celebration on our Party forum.

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Original poster

At what age do you leave DC at a party?

18 replies

chicaguapa · 15/10/2006 19:06

Have been to a few parties recently where I've been expected to leave DD there and pick her up later. Which I've been happy to do.

DD's 5th party is coming up and I have 30 kids coming. There will be 9 adults that I know are definitely staying to help etc. I wondered whether the other parents will be expecting to stay or will plan to leave their DC there.

What can I do to encourage them not to stay?

OP posts:

lulumama · 15/10/2006 19:09

first time today and he is 7!!!

tell them thanks for bringing x....see you at at , smile sweetly and start closing the door!!

assure them you have lots of help!

TBH, most of my friends left their kids at 5 , i don't mind staying, but couldn't today . so think most will presume not to stay!

mysonsmummy · 15/10/2006 19:12

ive got my sons 5th birthday and also have over 30 kids coming. 14 of them he was in nursery with however i cant expect the rest to leave their children in my care - they dont know me. i certainly wouldnt leave ds at a party of a child he met last month when starting reception.

with this in mind i hired a hall where the food is served in a separate hall to where entertainer will be, hoping the parents who stay might stay in there.

cod · 15/10/2006 19:12

Message withdrawn

cod · 15/10/2006 19:13

Message withdrawn

wheresthehamster · 15/10/2006 19:41

The right time to leave your dc at a party is when they're ready.
A lot of children don't like being left especially when they don't know the host that well and probably have never seen host's partner, mother or any of the other adults before.
Unless you have experience of controlling that many I think I would want MORE parents to stay than not!
I've always encouraged parents to stay especially if the children are the whingey or spoilt types. Even if the parents are not actively helping and are just chatting with each other you know they can come to your rescue!

CountessDracula · 15/10/2006 19:42

I have left dd twice when just 4 but at smaller parties

There is no way I would leave her at a party with 30 kids at it. She would feel very overwhelmed I am sure

Tommy · 15/10/2006 19:44

I left DS1 at a 4th birthday party - he was not wuite 4 but I couldn't stay with him as I had something else on and DH had to look after DS2 (not invited )

I think 4 seesm to be the norm around here.

pesha · 15/10/2006 20:27

I left dd at a small party when she was 3 and a half but stayed with her till she told me I could go now. But at age 4 and 5 have always left her however big the party but she's never been a clingy child and is quite happy for me to go once i've stayed the first 5 mins or so for her to settle in. I may have stayed but have younger ds who is very active and doesnt seem fair to inflict him on other people when he's not been invited!! Not sure I would leave him at a party though just cos he needs so much more supervision than she does!

foxtrottingtotransylvania · 15/10/2006 20:43

Depends on the child/parent. At DS1 5th birthday party at home, most dropped and ran, as i would've. I'd made provision if anyone stayed - some wine/juice/crisps and set aside the front room for them, so they wern't AT the party as such. He went to large party in hall last week, didn't really know parents, 25 kids etc, so i stayed but needn't have done TBH. But DS1 very confident, outgoing etc.

hulababy · 15/10/2006 20:46

I think this year will be the year when I am first likely to - DD is in first year of school, so all 5th birthday parties on the whole.

I have always stayed in past as generally have to travel to get there, and often wouldn't have enough time to go home adnd back again in party time.

ScareyCaligulaCorday · 15/10/2006 20:48

LOL I read this as at what age d'you leave DominiConnor at a party.

Really must not spend so much time on Mumsnet

HRHQueenOfQuotes · 15/10/2006 20:49

I have to confess DS2 went to a party the other week on his own.......a friend (the birthday girls dad) picked him up and took him in the car, and brought him back 2 1/2hrs later.......he won't be 3 until the end of November....but I wouldn't usually do that - just it was the only way I could get him to the party.

Usually unless it's someone I know really well (like in this case I've mentioned) I would usually want them to be at least 4 before I'd consider leaving them.

LIZS · 15/10/2006 20:50

dd has just turned 5 but is only now happy to be left. Most of her friends are turning 6 already. Last year, Reception age, a few parents would stay but majority dropped and ran. ds was first left at 3 1/2 with virtual strangers in a foreign country ! (We'd moved and he'd started preschool about a month before the first one)

alex8 · 15/10/2006 20:56

I did at 2 because that is what the mum wanted. She is a friend of mine and I just thought, more fool you!

I helped at my nephews 5th birthday and no parents stayed.

Bozza · 15/10/2006 20:59

I think I first left DS at 4 but only at the invitation of the parent. Once he turned 5 it became the norm to leave. One of his classmates has a nut allergy and he is never left at parties which I think is fair enough. We owe him a play date though - so will have to speak to his Mum wrt food.

TwigTwoolett · 15/10/2006 21:00

rustycreakingdoorbear · 15/10/2006 21:19

I left DS at 4, but the mum was one of the staff at his playgroup, so he knew her well. I can't remember how old DD was when I first left her but she was a much more confident child, so it might have been 3 - 3.5, but again it would have been with a mum she knew, as all her friends' mums took turns to help at the playgroup.

fussymummy · 15/10/2006 22:24

Definately depends on the child.

My youngest was 3.1 when i left her at her friends party.

She wasn't bothered.

I stayed until her friends arrived, then she was ok.

Told me to go home and come back later.

There was only 12 children though and 6 helpers.

I've had some parents stay at parties when their child was 7!!!!

Some parents cannot let go.

This meant the children didn't want to join in as much!!

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