I have very reluctantly decided I need an entertainer and now need some advice on good ones in SW London as I am in painful denial about it all

[Anchovy]

Just that really. DCs are having a joint birthday party (DS 5 and DD3) during half term. Previously we have just hired a bouncy castle, shoved everyone on it, given them some tea, had a glass of champagne ourselves, allowed the invitees a bit more of a bounce that primed them to be sick in the car on the way home, shut the door with a big sigh of relief, had a sneaky bounce on the bouncy castle ourselves, done the minimum amount of cleaning up to look respectable until our cleaner next came and then lay down in a darkened room with 2 nurofen and the rest of the champagne. Job done until next year.

Well, now it is next year and unfortunately the bouncy castle won't work (too late in the year, children in fancy dress etc etc), so I've reluctantly come to the conclusion I need an entertainer as there are going to be 25+ of the little darlings and I need to keep them roughly in the same place rather than rmpaging through the house and taking everything out of the boxes in the playroom while I sort out the tea.

But where to get one who is not (i) some ultra-annoying failed luvvie; (ii) so annoying that I want to impale with their own balloon concoctions.

PLEASE give me some advice, even if it to say that not all children's entertainers are complete twats.

Price is not exactly the issue, as I am economising in monetary and nervous exhaustion terms by giving them a joint party, but dear God some of them seem to have a higher hourly charge out rate than I do as a lawyer.

no not all children's entertainers are twats but it sounds like you deserve the twats

LOL Anchovy, entertainers in the SW's don't come cheap that's for sure. If I even vaguely liked small children I'd do it myself.
The SW families magazine usually has a list of entertainers at the back. Myself and a few friends have used "Spinning Spud" & others from here and have been pleased with what they do.
Good luck!

DS was ecstatic about Gilbert Giggles, the Master of Disaster at a party he went to - he did quite wacky entertainment, ran the games and generally mc's the whole party...and then I saw another very inpresive one in action the other night...I will get his details for you, but he had a challenging group of kids completely under his spell for the whole time - brought all his own prizes, ran games etc, learned their names....and wasn't v expensive.

We've used The Action Station agency quite a few times now (I got their name originally from the Time Out London for Children book, which is usually v reliable). Interactive story-telling has always been pretty good (our favourite was the Wizard, rangy totally-unprecious chap called Dan, but dh has suspiciously fond memories of the Swedish girl who did the Fairy story for dd's 5th last year).

This year (dd's 6th, need also to cater for a number of lumbering 7yos) we are having a circus skills person from there.

eh? Southeast - why does Anchovy deserve a twat?

Southeastastra - if I got the party entertainer I deserved, I'd be lying down on the sofa in the front room with all of the champagne while Robbie Williams serenaded me from the coffee table and DH dealt with 25 assorted pirates, fairies, robots and skeletons single handedly!

agree with southeastra - the OP suggests all entertainers are 'complete twats'. I have seen several really good ones.

Some people believe all lawyers to be 'complete twats'.

She was being....humourous in a self-depracting way. Which is why she added the 'if only to tell me...' because she knew that all entertainers are not twats.
Sigh.

Blimey - didn't expect such venom!

Its sort of a knee jerk thing I get when I see an entertainer - they always seem to be dressed up like Su Pollard or Christopher Biggins and everything is sort of exaggerated. Please feel free to defend the world of children's party entertainers - the whole point of this thread is that I want people to coax me into thinking they are a good idea and therefore to part with my hard earned money on them.

(I'm wearing a sort of chocolate brown trouser suit with a chocolate brown square necked vest top today, so I don't think a children's party entertainer would pick me out in the street and think I look like an archetypical lawyer)

they dress up because it amuses the kids.

duh.

In my admittedly short career as party-companion, I've seen some twats but there are good ones out there too. I would definitely say 'no' to face painting - takes ages, the children waiting in the queue get fractious and you'll end up with an inprint of a greasy tiger on your carpet. I would also try to control the volume of any musical appliance used. A lot of entertainers endeavour to grind the children into submission through continuous and very, very loud music (cf. torture techniques implemented by the US in Iraq). It hypes up the kids, is horrible for you and prevents the hanger-on-mothers like me having a gossip.

And sorry Anchovy, but I'm with the others: in a just world the charge out rate for an hour of strenuous negotiation of SPA warranties with a bunch of slavering, besuited young guns from S&M would be roughly equivalent to the rate for expertly entertaining 25 sugar-hyped children in a confined space.

Well yes, obviously, but one of those websites I just looked at had really annoying jaunty music attached to it which no sane person would ever want to listen to and can only appeal to sugar fuelled 5 year olds. And its not the 5 year olds who surf the websites with their credit cards at the ready!

Bink - I think DH would find it hard to look beyond "Tara the Cowgirl" as listed on your site.

Thinking about this you are going to need a really skilled entertainer as you have a fairly wide age and interest age - predominantly 5 year old boys and 3 year old girls? As an alternative to a traditional entertainer you could split the party up and do some biscuit decorating/tiara making with the three year olds (any nanny, au-pair or mother could help you) and some more boisterous game playing with the 5 year olds. Then bring everyone together for tea and some sort of free play/bouncing afterwards.

well stop bloody moaning and do it yourself then if they are all so crap!!

Donnie....have you some reason to take this personally, or are you just having a bad day?

Sorry, my last was to Donnie.

Issymum, I agree re it being much harder work to entertain DS and his mates than get in a fist fight with Linklaters on negative veto rights.

Face painting - don't even get me started. (DD is going as a mermaid and is going to have a very pale green face anyway).

All I want is someone to orgaise a few games. Its a minefield - and an expensive one at that. In the old days it was a job for the someone's uncle.

Oh dear, Donnie - I'm not quite sure what I have done to annoy you. Are you secretly chief steward of the Childrens Entertainment Union?

Bouncy castles are nowhere near as problematic.

Thanks Blu

neither Blu, I just think to start a thread saying I need an entertainer and to simultaneously say that all entertainers are a) complete twats or failed luvvies and b) overpriced is rude and arrogant as well as ignorant. They travel quite long distances, bring loads of equipment, set it up and then do the entertainment . Also the suggestion that Anchovy is inherently superior by virtue of being a lawyer is totally reprehensible to me.

so there you are.

25 children in your home. [faints]

Best of luck.

Most (unfair) complaints I hear of overpriced services by twats are about...lawyers!

anchovy, just book jelly kelly and have a great time (with your chequebook at the ready, of course)

exactly Blu. Now you see the delicious irony....

[Recovers from faint]

We have had the best fun with all-round entertainers of the magical/plate-spinning variety. Storytellers seemed to 'lose' the older ones and Punch&Judy terrified the little ones.

[Contemplates the party bags....faints again.]

in fact I may start a new thread on ' please someone find ne a decent solicitor who isn't a total wanker and who won't charge a fortune for ' thinking time'.