Should she go to these parties? Am I being waaaay too fussy?

[Clary]

I think I know the answer but anyway.

DD had a big party at the weekend. We invited all the girls in her class and some of the boys plus other friends.
It was OK except that some of the girls (not boys, ahha) were badly behaved (imho and also my mum thought so) - running about like mad loons an dnot stoppingwhen I asked them to, worried about injuries (lots of children in a big hall).

Sooo anyway, they all had a good time I think, but I've sworn to listen to DD next time (these were the girls she wanted to miss off the list!)

Of course now she has (just this week in fact) had invites to parties for the 2 worst offenders. Should she go? I guess yes (she says she wants to) it's just that I feel really hypocritcal. I was (for me) rather annoyed with these girls and certainly will not invite them again/have them to play (unlikely scenario anyway) etc.

Oh gosh it's hardly earth shattering is it, but do others accept party invites to people they are not at all keen on?

you know if the troiuble makers were the ones she initially wanted to leave off you should congratulate yourself that dd is clearly capable of good judgement. I would ask her what she thought of the behaviour at her party, tell her if she behaved like that else where you would feel sad, that she was letting herself down etc, and then trust her!!

let your dd go if she really wants to, after all these girls came to your party. But say to your dd that next year, these girls will not be on your party list - either she can have a smaller party or opt for an outing treat instead.

Yes, I'd let her go. Takes all sorts to make the world go round. Sorry, don't mean that to sound rude. It sounds like you dd has good judgement and maybe when she gets to the party she will play with the more well behaved ones. My son is probably one of the more boisterous ones in his class so I'm probably seeing it from the other side. I do find at parties they just tend to play with their best friends anyhoo.

I know what you mean. I have an acquaintance who I would rather not see for various reasons, and although I felt it would be too much of a snub not to invite her to ds's party in the end, I did decline an invitation to her ds's party as I felt it would have been rather two faced to accept her hospitality.

However I think my ds is younger, so I would have been at the party too. If it was just for ds I think I may have accepted, as he has no problem with these friends, genuinely likes them and would have enjoyed it.

thanks for these thoughts girls.
niceglasses you don't sound rude! Actually there were a coupel of boys I was a bit concerned about as they are quite boisterous (or I didn't know them) and they were great! Shows that DD does have good judgement eh.
I think I will let her go but will talk to her first about good behaviour etc.
I'm not going to be there as she's 5 (I'm not allowed to stay now lol).

Yes I would send her seen as she wants to go, but not invite them next year. Then it is up to them what they do next year.