DS is starting Reception in Sept and his birthday is a month afterwards - who do I invite?!

[BornToFolk]

This issue has been stressing me out for months but now the time has come to start making decisions!

DS is starting school in a couple of weeks and his birthday is mid-Oct. He wants a party, I want him to have a party but who can he invite?

I don't know if he'll have had time to make friends by then but I don't have the room/money/energy to invite the whole class. I was thinking of asking the teacher for names of a few kids that he seems friendly with and inviting them but is that going to alienate people so soon into the term? It's possible that DS's birthday will be the first of the class and it might set the precedent for how parties are handled in the future.

And WHEN do I invite people? If I leave it too late, so that he's had a chance to make friends, people might be busy but if I do it too early, he might make a friends with kids we haven't invited.

I suspect I am over-thinking this - it is just a 5 year old's birthday party after all but I'm anxious about DS starting school for all kinds of reasons (main two are that he won't know anyone there at all and that his dad left us about 4 months ago...) and I am desperate for his party to be a success and for it to help him build friendships at school.

I'm in the same boat and have budgeted for the whole class. I got away with it last year for the nursery kids; just bought loads of cupcakes from Costco instead! This year, after going to party after party of the nursery lot, DS wants his own party and presents this time so I can't really avoid it again.

Best of luck...

I dont think it is the"done thing" - just that her ds has asked for a party. if he just wantes a few friends round or a cinema trip, then 5-6 is perfect bit he wants a party

Don't do a whole class party! You are over thinking it, 2 weeks before ask him who he wants to invite. Keep it small. If in doubt as the teacher who he plays with.

I'm in the same situation except DD's birthday is early Sept. Last year she had a bouncy castle in the back garden and we are doing the same again this year, with a couple of friends from nursery, my mates little girl and her cousins. However with siblings etc there will be about 15 kids of various ages plus parents!

I figure by next year, I'll know who her friends are, but will still be stuck with sending invites out before the summer holidays as doing it when they get back will only give a weeks notice!

I did a whole class party in reception and hired a hall. I did lots of games though, not a bouncy castle. The mummy game (wrapping one child in each team up in toilet paper) went down very well. But I remember they didn't really get the concept of racing against each other. Ending on sleeping lions is highly recommended.

I also had a separate table where I had colouring sheets and pens etc which a few child did sit at instead of joining in. Some of them would have been a bit younger than DD and it may have been a bit overwhelming. I also had name labels so I knew who everyone was!

About a third of the parents stayed and I had a sheet of paper where parents could write their phone number on if they wanted to leave their DC. I had individual paper bags for the party food and cartons of drink.

I wouldn't have expected DD to have been able to choose some friends so soon into the new school (she's October) and wanted to be able to plan. You won't get replies from everyone so a bigger party is easier in that respect.

oooh tell me more about the Mummy game! My 5y olds party is on sunday and in a pique of stinginess I have not paid out for an entertainer so need some ideas! What's the aim - cover them completely first?

Also, can someone remind me how What's the time Mr Wolf works?

How many games do I need to prepare for a 2 hour party do you think?

Could you have a quiet word with the teacher and ask her to point you in the direction of the child who has the next closest birthday with a view to proposing a joint party to his/her mum?

I think a limiting factor from what you've said is the cost and class parties in my (albeit limited experience) aren't exactly cheap.

I've recently done a church hall and bouncy castle party for 35 5 year olds, we didn't have an entertainer or owt, just bouncy castle, pass the parcel and a dancing game... but once you've factored in food (jam sandwiches and crisps so no fancy cupcakes), party bags (even if simple and thrifty ones) - it all adds up and I think you'd be struggling to get it all in under a ton although depends where you are and how you do it.

If money isn't so much of an issue it is a handy way to get to know all the kids and mums.

I'd tell him he can have a mega party next year and this year go with kids he knows or a few friends he seems chummy with after a month or so.

You've got enough to be thinking about so make life a bit easier for yourself I reckon x

It is likely someone else will have an earlier birthday. My DS had a proper party with a theme, cake, crafts and games plus pizza and jelly and ice cream etc but it was just for 8 friends at home. I wouldn't have done a whole class one as he isn't great at bigger parties generally and it would have cost too much. I think you would struggle to keep it under 100 quid. Not every parent does a whole class party. I would say less than half in my experience. The easiest option is wacky warehouse or similar if you want everyone as they do everything for you even party bags.

Mummy game - teams, 1 adult per team to supervise/ help if required. Choose 1 person in each team to be the mummy. Cover completely in toilet paper (Tesco value). They loved it! Was supposed to be a race, but I gave everyone a sweet.

We played What's the time Mr Wolf too. Can't remember exactly how though. Had Pass the Parcel, two circles IIRC, with a sweet treat in each layer. I'll try and remember what else.

I follow the rule of not inviting more children than your child's age

He must have friends from his precious setting also

I think whole class parties are nowhere near as good as parties for around 10 to 15 kids tbh.
My dd has a september birthday but in reception I waited until October and did a Halloween party for her instead so she could choose to invite her friends. It's not such abig deal friendship wise tbh. More important is asking kids to play after school regularly imo.

U so don't need to invite the whole class. My dd's just invite 5 or 6 friends each year. Yes ask the teacher for some help in choosing. Each year the list is likely to differ because children do change friends.

As for worrying about setting a precedent, parents will be relieved. Who wants to have to take their children to 30 different parties throughout the school year? And as someone else said who wants 30 presents?

U can't beat a tea party at home. A few traditional party games and a bit of music. When I go to parties where the while class are invited I just think what a hideous noisy experience! And so do my dds.

Dd wants a party and her birthday is in Seotember. Also starting Reception where she only knows one other child. We haven't decided yet. Money is tight, do won't be at the farm she wants. Next option is for home and up to 15 children (including siblings, friends from nursery etc).

Thanks Chica!

Ds is a sept birthday but when he starts in 2yrs we will know most of the class mates as are mainly siblings, so might do a whole class party, however most people with sept/oct parties seem to do a smaller party, with a bigger whole class party in yr1 (if you can be bothered by then and he doesn't just have 3 velcro buddies (dd2)).

I would either go for just the boys or a short list suggested by the teacher, ours have always been happy to do that, they know parties are part of that social development stage.

It might be worth asking teacher if anyone has a nearby birthday just so you don't clash. Even if you don't invite to each others it is worth making sure no one clashes before hand, better that than inviting 15 and finding 10 have already been invited to a different party. You could just say to other parent if girl for eg 'I understand it's amelia's birthday around the same time as ds, although I'm just inviting a few boys this year, I don't want to clash with any plans that you have.'

I did a joint party with another girl for dd1 for a feb birthday, half the class for dd2 for a feb birthday too in reception. Now they just want small parties at home for a few friends, but the stuff they want to do is more complex - fairy houses and sarcophoggi (?sp)!

whole class because otherwise some poor kids' first experience of school parties will be being left out

limit presents to £5?

church hall + dancing games + bouncy castle should be fine

have fun!

I have decided - I am definitely not doing a whole class party. I just can't face it. However, I have vague memories that DS's class is split into three groups? So I'll probably invite just the kids in his group. 10 is a much more manageable number and it feels fair too!

I'm looking into hiring a church hall even for that number as DS has decided he wants a "sports party" and although the weather has been good in previous years, if it rains we can't do many sports inside...

Good decision. (well, the bit about not doing a class party). I still think you are aiming a bit high.
He will be just 5, and it's likely his friends will be 4. Just wait until a couple of weeks before, then ask him who he'd like to invite (tell him ha can invite 4 friends), then invite them round for a party at home, with food and games. Don't overthink it, or worry about what other people decide to do.

Mid October? Loads of time to decide who to invite - I wouldn't bother with more than 2 weeks notice IIWY (speaking from bitter experience of people looking at me like I am a complete loon for sending them out earlier). You could decide on, and plan for, a number (< half of class - so 10 sounds good to me) and then decide with DS (or without) which 10 later?

Have you checked if any of the local sports centres do parties? Ours, for example, will do a sports party where all you have to do is to turn up with tea and cake (they provide party room) and it would be around your £100 mark for 10-12 DC. The massive advantage of having an autumn birthday is that the "best" ideas haven't already been done 5 times .

I started doing whole class parties because there were only 12 in my (autumn born) DS's YR class so it seemed the easiest option - it gradually crept up to 20 before he stopped wanting "big parties". Now DD is in a class of 22 (and likely to rise) I am trying to reconsider my options, but she is claiming DS's whole class parties as a precedent...

Whole class.

Village hall, bouncy castle.

Food. Crisps, sandwiches, biscuits, juice.

Pass the parcel, musical statues, etc to pass the time a bit.

Whole class or 3/4 friends round for birthday tea.

If a proper party invites 3/4 weeks ahead.

Both my DCs are mid September babies. DS's class only had 15 to start with so I invited them all to a trampoline party at the leisure centre with a picnic in the park afterwards.
I think I delayed the party the year DD started and we had a joint haloween party instead.

ooooh, good tip stealth! A sports centre near us does a package with a bouncy castle and games, and crucially, a party host for £70. Max 20 kids. I'd need to provide the food and party bags but I'm confident I could do that on a budget.

DD turned 5 two weeks after starting so I invited the whole class.
A parent stayed for every child apart from one, it was a good way t get to know people.