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Parties/celebrations

Whether you're planning a birthday or a hen do, you'll find plenty of ideas for your celebration on our Party forum.

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Original poster

DS is starting Reception in Sept and his birthday is a month afterwards - who do I invite?!

52 replies

BornToFolk · 29/08/2012 13:55

This issue has been stressing me out for months but now the time has come to start making decisions!

DS is starting school in a couple of weeks and his birthday is mid-Oct. He wants a party, I want him to have a party but who can he invite?

I don't know if he'll have had time to make friends by then but I don't have the room/money/energy to invite the whole class. I was thinking of asking the teacher for names of a few kids that he seems friendly with and inviting them but is that going to alienate people so soon into the term? It's possible that DS's birthday will be the first of the class and it might set the precedent for how parties are handled in the future.

And WHEN do I invite people? If I leave it too late, so that he's had a chance to make friends, people might be busy but if I do it too early, he might make a friends with kids we haven't invited.

I suspect I am over-thinking this - it is just a 5 year old's birthday party after all but I'm anxious about DS starting school for all kinds of reasons (main two are that he won't know anyone there at all and that his dad left us about 4 months ago...) and I am desperate for his party to be a success and for it to help him build friendships at school.

OP posts:

vodkaanddietirnbru · 29/08/2012 14:26

could you hire a local hall cheaply along with a bouncy castle or something and then you could invite the class without having to know any of the kids names.

sheeplikessleep · 29/08/2012 14:35

DS1's 5th birthday is end October and I'm doing what vodka has suggested (although luckily will be a joint party with one of his friends, who will also be in same class). We're inviting the whole class for the reasons you've mentioned!

Original poster

BornToFolk · 29/08/2012 14:38

The thought of doing a whole class party terrifies me! How will I control 30 small children?!
What games/activities do you have planned? I'm not sure if my budget would stretch to a bouncy castle.

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sheeplikessleep · 29/08/2012 14:45

We are lucky in that the costs will be halved though! We are doing a bouncy castle, along with pass the parcel type, pin the tail etc games. TBH I'm slightly nervous, but I'm hoping that with music, food and a few games, then we might muddle through. Maybe you could ask the teacher if any other children in the class have a birthday in October too?

suedpantsoffem · 29/08/2012 14:53

When my kids were young, the whole class tended to get invited to every birthday party. Most people hired a hall, and a clown, or magician or something. Occasionally, it was just girls, or just boys, but they weren't very selective with their friends at that age.

Many parents will tend to stay - but could you specifically ask some parents to lend a hand, or have you got any friends or relations who would help out?

Children's entertainers are very good at crowd control though, so you wouldn't have to do too much, other than prepare food - and you could always get a pizza delivery or chips from chipshop etc if that is too daunting.

lljkk · 29/08/2012 14:58

I think you are over thinking it, I would probably invite the whole class.

lljkk · 29/08/2012 14:59

Ah, sorry, didn't read last update, what is your budget?

ilovemydogandMrObama · 29/08/2012 15:00

DS has been invited to a party for a girl whose birthday is in September, but he knows her from nursery school. Same problem; she wouldn't know many kids so early in the year.

Maybe you could find out all the other September birthdays and club together?

Original poster

BornToFolk · 29/08/2012 15:04

Budget is just as little as I can get away with really! Just had a Google and I can hire a bouncy castle for £50 so I suppose it depends how much hall hire would be. I'd like to keep it under £100 if possible - is that doable?

I can rope in my sister (primary school teacher - v handy!) and mum (veteran of the children's party) to help.

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JenAT · 29/08/2012 15:04

I have a similar problem ,although dd's birthday is in early Sept! she have been at school for less than a week and only mornings so I have just invited her class from kindergarten (preschool) to her party. There are only a few going to her new school though. If you invite the class I suspect there will be quite a few that can't come anyway, so out of a class of 30, i would probably only expect 20 to be able to come.

littleducks · 29/08/2012 15:05

I would invite the whole class, in my experience they don't all turn up.

slartybartfast · 29/08/2012 15:07

ime they do turn up

has he friends from nursery?

suedpantsoffem · 29/08/2012 15:08

Sounds ideal! You could also do some games like pass the parcel as well.

Google "wide games" for some other ideas for games played in a wide area (eg hall) for lots of kids.

You doing party bags? If you're on a budget, you could send everyone home with an ice lolly or something else cheap instead. Most party bag crap ends up in the bin anyway. You never know, you might start a non-party bag trend for the class - everyone else might continue as you started.

You'll need to provide some food, but ham/jam/cheese sandwiches, crisps, bit of cake and some squash won't come to much. £100 should be do-able.

Original poster

BornToFolk · 29/08/2012 15:12

Not really slarty. He had friends AT nursery but no one that we saw outside nursery and now they've all gone off to different schools and I don't have contact details.

Is a whole class party really my only option? I've said I'll host a family tea the following day too and exP's family will be invited. The first time I've seen any of them (or that my family have seen exP) since he left. It's going to be a weekend of social nightmares for me... If it's the best thing for DS though I'll suck it up and get through it (and drink lots of wine afterwards...)

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slartybartfast · 29/08/2012 15:15

of course you dont have to invite whole class. you have say 2 weeks to decide who his friends are. perhaps the children on his table? or just get him to choose? although no doubt he will change his midn the day they come. perhaps ask his teacher? Does he HAve to have a party? can he not have a family treat?

MrsRobertDuvallHasRosacea · 29/08/2012 15:22

I would just invite the friends he knows already.
You only need 3 or 4.

Much less hassle and he will love it.

butterfingerz · 29/08/2012 15:23

Just invite the boys? Then its about 15ish, depending on who can/cannot come. Its a fairer system than just randomly choosing who you think he gets on with at such an early stage.

The worst thing that could happen is you'd piss off some mums of girls but I doubt it, there'll probably be some girls only parties. If anybody says anything just say you can't afford a whole class party.

kilmuir · 29/08/2012 15:25

Whole class, find another parent with child who has a birthday around the same time and share the costs.
Lot of parents will stay at that age
OR, invite just a few.

tanfastic · 29/08/2012 15:28

Crikey is that the done thing inviting the whole class once they start primary?!

MrsRobertDuvallHasRosacea · 29/08/2012 15:34

Tanfastic...I have never done it.
Ever.

Could think of nothing worse. Always just had maximum 6-8 children.

budhasbelly · 29/08/2012 15:42

Bad precedent to make I reckon. Every parent in the place will be cursing you for setting the bar so high.
6 seems plenty to me, random children until your ds has made some friends.

tanfastic · 29/08/2012 15:43

I wouldn't either. Looks like I may be pissing off a few mums when my ds starts in September. Oh well I'm a hard faced cow

MrsRobertDuvallHasRosacea · 29/08/2012 15:46

Me too.

They are not all friends, never will be.
Why do you want 29 presents?

If I didn't know the parents they weren't invited.

GnocchiNineDoors · 29/08/2012 15:46

If he wants a party, then the whole class is a good way to go. Tbh, if he is just starting, it will be an excellent opportunity to het to know a few parents and all the kids will have fin getting to know each other.

Only needs to be 2/2.5 hrs long with the last 30-45mins for food. Give them half an hoir at the start to run around like loons, then an hour of party games (musical chairs, corners etc), interspersed with dancing (ipod and speakers or stereo).

Original poster

BornToFolk · 29/08/2012 15:48

"Every parent in the place will be cursing you for setting the bar so high."

That's what I reckon! But I think I'm damned if I do, damned if I don't...

DS really wants a party. I did suggest a nice day out somewhere but nope, party it is. And I know that he'll be happy with a few friends and some games and cake.

I REALLY want some other kid to have their party first so it's not me setting whatever precedent ends up getting set.

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