DD 9th birthday present dilemma - she wants a phone!

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Does anyone have a view on whether a mobile phone is appropriate for a 9yo? Apparently lots of girls at school have one. If a child's parents have separated I guess there's a reason to have one, otherwise I don't see the point.

DD wanted an iPhone Touch a year or so ago but we were against it so she has dropped that idea; but I wonder if that would be a better present now. She is not 'spoilt' and apart from the phone idea and at my asking, said Build a Bear clothes, dressing up (!) and her first pair of heeled sandals (the 1 inch sort NEXT sell which we've held out against so far).

She has a basic but good camera, my old iPod touch, a DSi. I imagine we'll go more clothes/shoes orientated for future birthdays. What generally happens with girls??!

My 9yr old DS wanted one for his 9th birthday and I said no. He doesn't need one, plain and simple. When he goes to high school and has to start walking to/from school alone then thats a different story, but until then, no need.

Around here a lot of 9yos are feral free range & have own phones. Does she go out without you?

I let DD use one of my old phones if/when she went free range around that age.

I have to say that using phones as a social tool is completely stupid & very expensive overkill imho, but still a social necessity for most teens. I am quite looking forward to DS being allowed on Facebook to conduct his social life there instead (much more cheaply).

Why they have to manically send frequent texts to people they sit next or near to all day at school, or exchange 50 texts to arrange social meet ups when a 2 minute phone conversation would sort every single detail out quickly is BEYOND me.

I know and agree and have told her so. But she lays on the 'I feel different' and 'don't you remember what it's like to feel left out' lines. I am not going to get her a phone as it seems ridiculous. Do you think an iPod Touch is a suitable gift as I think she'd be over the moon. But equally is it a bit much at her age...

We held out till DS's 10th birthday. He's allowed out to the park etc without us so good to be able to get hold of him - especially when he's running late coming home! Not so good when your having a child free night out and he's texting every 10 minutes asking when your coming back to pick him up cos he's bored at his grans!

Adventures, no she doesn't go out without me and I don't imagine I'll let her walk to school on her own till she's at least 9 and a half (she's a bit dreamy!). Maybe I am being overprotective. I think 10 is old enough to go into town with a mate so perhaps if I say 'next year' that'll placate her. Or not...

I just don't know if I'm being a completely out of touch parent if this is what all the 'cool kids' in class are doing - I know a few parents but not the parents of the kids who'd have the phones just to 'be cool' (if they do in fact have them).

Thanks Vondo that seems a good compromise. I do think it'll be great to be able to be in touch with her when she starts going out alone. She's still 8, still my baby for now!!

I think both presents are too much for a 9 year old. Its up to you of course but don't get pressured by emotional blackmail, I would bet lots of her friends don't have these things. Our eldest is 9 next, not one of his friends has a mobile of their own.

Ooh, get thee over to the "teen" threads, you need to start practising now your rebuffs for the "But everyone else's mum lets them/gives them" pleas.

imho, would be excessive & materialistic to buy her any iPod Touch at such a young age, is she even that bothered about music? . I am thinking of something like this (I will not pay for new) for DS's 13th birthday.

Yes she loves music but uses her (my old) iPod for that. She's got a real mix on it, DH and I are big music fans so she's got her favourite bands too. I'm forever getting asked to add songs she hears on the radio to her iTunes (if I like it too I may oblige).
The teens thing is going to be tough. I don't think I can look yet, I have enough wrinkles forming.
I'd get her a new iPod touch for the apple warranty; she'd use it for games, she loves educational games on her DS (junior brain trainer and the adult brain trainer ones) and would do maths, spelling etc. as well as the game-y ones. I'd block all inappropriate sites e.g. Youtube which might cause a bit of sulking of course... ooh it's hard.

Why not get a new iPod for you (sensible deserving adult) & give her your old one with some iTunes credit & a pretty new case?

i have a v old big iPod that doesn't do anything that hers doesn't already do - and I have an iPhone so don't want to upgrade anything for myself.
She really wants the games / app store on the iPod touch. And would find the weather and alarm functions useful!
Thanks for all the advice - got to go shopping but will ponder on. Glad I've ruled out the phone for definite.

My dd saved up her money and bought herself an ipod touch when she was 10. (My inlaws gave her a lot of cash at Christmas). She has been absolutely fine with it.

She got a phone when she started music school at weekends and was being left in a different town an hours drive away.

She mostly uses her ipod for watching iPlayer (CBBC) and playing games. She put £10 on it when she first got it 2 years ago and still has about £4 of that left.

In response to the "Everyone else has one" arguement, I just reply that I am not everyone else's mum and their parents do what they think is right for them, just as I do what I think is right for her. She doesn't have to like it.

If she already has an ipod why waste money on a new one? Seems a good opportunity to teach her you don't waste money on new gadgets just for the sake of it.

My dd (9 next month) asked for a phone as all her friends have one apparently
She has recently started to play out the front so Ive just put a pay as you go sim in one of my no frills old nokias. I said if she looks after that we'd consider getting her one of her own. She has dropped it on the floor and cracked the screen! She hasn't asked for her own for her birthday since, she instead wants an ereader!

littleblu It's an iPod touch she wants; the iPod she has is the kind with a small monochrome screen that doesn't play videos or apps or anything, literally just a music player. I did say it was old :)
dillydolly that is a great idea - I have an old phone she's played with as it does mini games etc (was state of the art nokia at the time) and a PAYG SIM in that temporarily could be the answer - if it's only a tenner or so.
Emandlu my DD would be the same I imagine. I don't want to pander to the 'everyone else' argument BUT don't want her to be really left out. I didn't believe kids had blackberrys at her school in Y2, Y3, and while not common it's not that unusual either. Just finding out what's what!