Should I accept this party invitation? Please help me decide.

[DumbledoresGirl]

Feeling pathetic and unable to make up my mind on this one so please could I have your input:

Ds3 (aged3) has been invited to a party by someone I don't know at his playgroup. These are the reasons for not accepting:

1. The party is being held in a leisure centre some distance away (at least a 20 min drive but maybe a lot more than that as it finishes at 5:45 which is rush hour).

1. I would have to take my other 3 children with me and we would all have to stay there for the duration of the party as it is only one and three quarters hours long. There is nothing else in the vicinity we could do.

1. My 2 older boys will have to miss Cubs that night which I am not keen on them doing as they need to go for socialisation purposes. (They hate going because they don't know the other boys but I think it is good for them to have this socialisation. If they miss that week, I can't guarantee they would go the week before or the week after and the leader gets stropy if they miss 2 weeks in a row.)

1. What would my childre do for tea, whilest sitting in the leisure centre waiting for ds3's party to end? I can't afford to buy them a meal each in the cafe.

Reasons to go:

1. He has been invited. I never underestimate the honour of being invited to a party and like my children to go if they possibly can.

1. It would be a good opportunity for ds3 to mix in a different setting with his play group friends (he is very shy and does not socialise with the other children yet).

1. He would enjoy himself.

1. It might be an opportunity for me to meet the parents of the children ds3 will go through playgroup and school with. I know some of them a bit but not many of them. The only other time ds3 went to a party (at Christmas) I got talking to one mother and have been chatting to her many times since. I don't have any friends in this town so can I really afford to pass up the opportunity to meet some? On the other hand, with my other three children in tow, would I be able to talk to the other parents?

Can I emphasise, I don't know this child giving the party, or his parents, and ds3 is too socially immature to have any idea that he has been invited to a party or to care himself if he goes or not.

Given all of the above, would you accept or not?

um if it was first child I'd say accept

but honestly in this situation I'd say not

but I would call up parents be grateful, make up a prior engagetment ask if he and parent can come for a playdate on a specified date and time to your house .. then you can meet the parent and DS3 can have 'a friend' over

It would be good if he could go, but I wouldn't take the other 3 with me. Can you get them farmed out to their friends who they go to clubs with or could another parent take your DS3 to the party along with their own?

Don't suppose there's anyone else who would take your older boys to cubs?

Is there anyone who could take and bring him back? Or could you call and explain to host mum and see if she has any suggesitons>? Or is there anyone who can look after/ferry the other 3 while you take ds? (who are you btw? Have you changed name or are you new? Just being nosy!)

If it were me, I wouldn't go. I would probably feel a bit bad about it and would possibly do what Twiglett has suggested, although knowing me I would probably chicken out of that one as well .

WWW, Dumbledore's Girl was LonelyMum

Oh, I thought so, I thought I recognised her and there aren't many people with 4 children! Thanks PC

I'd be inclined to accept, as I think the benefits would outweigh the difficulties. It's good for children to socialise in a different setting, and it would be good for you to meet some other parents.

If you have to take the other children then maybe you could make them up a picnic to have while they're waiting for the party to finish. Missing Cubs is a bit of a pain but if it's something they do every week then maybe missing once isn't too bad - perhaps you'd need to make a really big effort to get them there for the week before and after.

Agree with Twiglett.

Thanks for the responses and at WWW saying she "recognised" me but then I suppose 4 children and an inability to express anything succinctly does tend to single me out!

Well, reading your replies, I had decided to refuse the invitation until I got to WWB's telling me to accept and I could see all her arguments made sense and were perfectly "do-able". Hmmmmm.

TBH if I refused, I wouldn't feel obliged to have the boy over for tea as I think (judging by the replies being handed back to playgroup staff today) that all the playgroup children have been invited so nothing special about ds3 being invited.

Also, I have had parents offer to take my other children to parties before and that has been fine as my other children are either old enough to go alone or extrovert enough to not mind, but it is inconceivable that ds3 would go anywhere without me (I have to prise him off my leg each day he goes to playgroup!) and he is only just 3 so surely too young to not have his mother with him at a party.

I wish I had a support group who could take my other children but that is simply not the case anymore. It is and all or nothing situation: eiher we all go, or none of us do.

Hmmmm, Can you drp the boys off at cubs on the way and pick them up on the way home (leave early) maybe?

Oh, and I worked out who you were a few days ago

No cubs isn't until 6:15. I have been thinking about it and I just can't make it work so I am going to refuse. Ds3 won't be any the wiser and,tbf, none of my other children were even invited to parties, let alone went to them, when they were 3, so he is not going to be deprived. There will be plenty of parties later I am sure.

Sorry WCL, wasn't trying to confuse. I intended swapping between DG and LM but DG seems to have stuck for now.

Oh yes, I agree loads of time for parties for him, it jsut would have been nice for you to go and meet some people where you live now :)

Still, plenty of time for that too!!!