Rude or not?

[nappyaddict]

Lots of people have asked me what DS (6) would like for his birthday.

He only really plays with a set few things which we have lots of already (cars, buses, trains, duplo, stickle bricks, little figures, little animals)

Would it be rude to put on the invite something along the lines of:

"Lots of people have asked what DS would like for his birthday. He only plays with a few things which we have lots of already but he would like to save up for a new bike. If anyone would like to make a non-specific anonymous or signed contribution there will be a post box at the party."

Yes. It would look very bad.

Tell them the message about what he wants when they ask - it sounds like you have had plenty of opportunity to do that already.

Nope I dont think it's rude - better than wasting your money on something he wouldn't want. Maybe just start off saying something like, 'we're having the party to get all his friends together and don't expect gifts in return, however alot of people have expressed their wish to buy a gift...'

So it's OK to say it verbally but not on the invite?

That was to Edith sorry.

Just say 'I'm sure whatever you want to get will be lovely'

Rude to ask for money however you put it really.

I have heard of this being done for a wedding - but not for a child's birthday.

Generally people ask what the child may like for their birthday? Well, my family and friends do. Although I do realise that maybe school friends' parents will probably not ask you and will just go out and spend the required £10/£20 whatever.

I personally wouldn't put the request for cash on the invitation.

Id think it was grabby, if i didn't know you well. I think that's fine for family but not school friends.

£20?

Why anonymous? Surely you'd want to thank people?

I think it's rude, as will most people IRL, even if we all know it's a good idea in theory and on here, changing the status quo is just not cricket!

I think saying it verbally is okay if someone asks specifically, but to put it on the invitations is quite rude.
It's like people asking for cash with little poems on wedding invitations

Yes, I think there is a difference to replying to a 'what would he like?' enquiry (whether in speech or in writing) and in laying it out pre-emptively (which always risks looking grabby, even though a child's birthday party is one of the occasions when I'd never turn up empty-handed).

As you've had loads of enquiries before you've even sent out the invitations, and may well get more once received anyhow, you've had oodles of opportunity to tell people what would go down well. And having some things to actually unwrap is also a pleasure. So I hope you get a nice mixture.

So, your 6 year old son is fine with this too, is he?

Whenever you ask him what he wants for his birthday he just says "bus" and "bike"

So yes, if he could get his bike he would be happy.

Does he realise that there will be no pressies at his party - just donations? This matters to a six year old!

He doesn't actually like unwrapping lots of presents. I'd say 15 is his limit before he gets overwhelmed and bored.

I'd be sounding my son out about it, they're very switched on at that age.

How about you say a book (or lego or something you don't mind having lots of) wld be great or a voucher for Evans (or appropriate bike/toy shop) so he can get a bike.
Thus you're not forcing people to give cash or even a voucher - but the option is there.