Does anyone spend on party INSTEAD of present?

[whethergirl]

My ds is turning 7 soon. I am a single parent student on a tight budget. Previously I have kept costs down by having a party at home, but the kids are just getting too big and boisterous for a house party now.

So I've been looking into taking ds and friends bowling or maybe a swimming pool party and trying to work out what I can possibly afford.

Does anyone here count the (cost of) birthday celebrations as the birthday gift, or do you always get a gift as well? Previously I've spent less on the celebrations but always got him a nice present, but thinking that this year all my money will be spent on the celebrations, and I'll get maybe a token gift? How much do you spend on a gift as well as the celebrations?

Yes - I give them a choice, small present + party, or big present.

DS is mercenary and has always chosen big present, DD so far likes the party idea.

Absolutely, expensive party = very small present

Yes we only get a small pressy if they're having a party. I've found even when I've kept it small at home I still end up spending far more then I thought I would.

What does everyone mean by 'small' present?

I've booked for ds and 6 friends to go bowling.

I'd say small present if he's having a bowling party.

Small is whatever you can afford tbh. I think 7 is a good age to start to understand the cost of things.

Does the bowling place have an amusement arcade attached? DS2 chose bowling for his last birthday and they all loved the 2p slot machines.

Hope your ds has a great birthday

I normally do a party that cost a fortune and tell them that is there present and then I remind them how good they have it compared to others.

Give him the choice or just do a cunningly cheap party. For DDs 10th we cooked sausages on a bonfire and had a sleepover. Be original!

I would say a small present is upto £20 ish.
It's ds1's 6th birthday in a couple of weeks and he's chosen a party:
£65 for the place (football area and bouncy castle), food £40, decorations etc. £15, cake £10, party bag (£1 Easter egg for each child) £30. That's £160, there is no way would I have spent £160 on him if he was just having a pressy, we have always had the view that as they get older they will need/want more expensive stuff, laptops for homework, games consoles for example, so why we can get away with spending less we do. On top of that we will get him a small pressy (upto £20) so he'll do very well out of having a party rather than just a present. If he wasn't having a party and just a present we would probably spend around £65-70.
Expensive things these parties!

i asked the kids

party or present

if they chose present - which they always did - they could invite two friends for a tea party of sorts

BuckBuckMcFate - I'm a bit worried about the amusement arcade bit actually! DS is drawn to them and although it's his birthday, I can't afford a bowling party, a small present AND for him to run riot in the arcade. I'm not sure if he's getting any birthday money this year, but he does have quite a bit of a stash in his piggy bank - but it would seem wrong to get him to spend his own money in the arcade on his own bday iyswim? I suppose I could just pay for the arcade and not get him a present then.

he's old enough to understand he can't have everything so give him the choice

mine will choose parties over presents -last year they both had a party and then got a new outfit and a book off me -about £25