At what age to kids start coming to parties 'on their own'?

[Bitzer]

I mean getting dropped off and picked up again 2 hours later? DD is 4. Having a tea party, 11 kids including siblings but we'll end up with at least 15 adults and as we're having it at home it's going to be a real squeeze. (Last year we hired the church hall so not a problem).

When do the parents stop coming? And is there a way to tactfully make it clear that I probably haven't got room for them all?

Thanks v much

Lord....3! DS started going to parties at three...we were told to leave him!....dutifully did so. Fretted the whole time. Went back, he had a ball. We have never stayed at a party since and it seems the norm where we are...if parents hung around I think it would be considered weird!

Just put it on the invite....

I don't know about making them go. You can put on the invites 'drop offs welcome', i.e. Please feel free to just leave them. If people ask you could always suggest that one parent brings two guests. Here it is usually for reception year that they are dropped off.

Was wondering about asking parents + siblings to wait in heated lobby for dd's 5th birthday, but the more I plan the more I think maybe I will let them come in, but strictly only one 'party bag' per family as is all home made craft and not having spares. Parents who bring uninvited children will just have to manage the consequences!

ooh I was wondering about this. Last year when DD was 4 we knew the Nursery parents so didn't mind them staying, but she'll soon be 5 and we don't know the school parents. Like you we are having her party at home; we don't have the room (or energy) for siblings as well.

With DD1, I stayed with her until reception and then for the first term.

With DD2, I dropped and run from when she was about 3 1/2.

This was at her request. She was used to seeing her older sister being dropped off for parties and so it made her feel 'more grown up'. I was always hesitant in case the host expected me to stay.

Drop a note as the pp has said, those with 'second children' may be pleased with the 'permission' to drop and run .

Sorry wasn't able to come back to this thread until now. All v helpful responses, thank you. Trouble is everyone I've mentioned it to has said "great, we'd love to come" and because it's the weekend and I know all the parents I feel sure it'll be the whole family. I also know all the kids really well so I'm not concerned about looking after them sans parents just don't want to cater for/find space for all adults as well. All the parties we've been to locally seem to involve the whole family coming along, DD's never been invited to a drop-off. Perhaps I just need to call up the adults concerned and have a proper chat with them about it.

Re party bags, I was going to just do a lucky dip and get kids to pick a prez and take that home with a piece of cake - does that sound acceptable?

Do they all know each other? Is there a local pub? Why not suggest that they all go to the pub, you will ring them if there is a problem, if want to mums can take it in turns to pop over. Just say you are concerned about the lack of space.

Don't ask me about party bags as I always do something which dh moans must have cost too much. I find pound shop is good source or book people. I tend to give the same to everyone to avoid arguements, but I tend not to like just tat, would rather have one proper thing than 4 bits of plastic, but I know the kids like them.

Seemed to be when they started reception with ds. I look forward to invites now, and get quite disappointed if it's an activity party and I have to stay.

Have given in and decided to try and find a venue where we can fit everyone ? rather than risk upsetting anyone by not inviting siblings. Will have to save the intimate tea party for another year. Will definitely offer the drop-off option though.

duracellbunnies - love the pub idea, there is one just around the corner and will def suggest it to anyone up for just dropping off but space isn't going to be an issue any more if we manage to secure a venue.