My 5 year old doesn't want a party

[kickingking]

My son will be five soon and we need to book his party soon (having one at home last minute is not an option, small house and I am heavily pregnant)

He says he does bit want a party with school friends at all, but will do something with family. He was the save last year - cried at the thought if inviting friends from nursery.

As a child, I didn't enjoy my birthday parties at all as I disliked being the centre of attention but I was made to have a big party every year. I haven't done anything on my birthday since I was twelve, that's how much I hated it.

So on the one hand, I feel I should respect what DS is saying. On the other, he's actually never had a party with friends. So should he experience it before de ding he doesn't like it?

What should I do??

Sorry for typos - on phone.

why not ask him if he would like to have a fun day with just one or two of his best friends, maybe swimming, cinema and birthday meal or bowing or whatever he likes. My DS had one or two parties but always like the day with friends better.

Well, hasn't he been to friend's parties, and experienced it that way?

I'd be heaving a sigh of relief and doing what he wants.

But if you'd like to try to do something special involving his friends -

Does he enjoy having a friend to play? Would he like to have a couple of friends around to play, with party tea and cake?

Would he like to go on a family outing to a zoo or somewhere, and take one special friend along? Birthday outing, not party.

Yes, he has been to friend's parties and enjoyed them.

He seems to panic as soon as involving school friends is mentioned.

DH, who doesn't understand not liking being the centre of attention, is annoyed about all this and thinks I'm to blame!

My ds had his 5th birthday party yesterday. We only had 4 of his friends at home but bloody hell I'd be over the moon if he didn't want a party!

I would definitely not push him to have a party if that's not what he wants. It is his birthday, it seems only fair he does something he enjoys, rather than what you think he should enjoy. I would ask him what he wants and go along with that within reason. I hope he has a lovely birthday!

When ds2 was this age he didn't want a big party. so we just arranged a day out for just him and two of his mates. It was great: much more enjoyable than a bouncy castle with 30 5 yr-olds!

My DS is a bit like that (and so am I!) so we've never pushed him - if he doesn't want a big party I wouldn't force it - it can be quite overwhelming. If he's been to friends parties and knows what its like then he can make his decision based on that. Maybe when he's older he might change his mind. I definitely think a day out or activity with a close friend or a family party would be the best option.

My DD is completely different and has listed 16 'friends' she would like to invite to her party. She will be three.

He sounds a very sensible DC-I would go with him.
I can't see why they want these big class do's and why people get so caught up in the unfairness of not being invited-I hated parties at 5 yrs old!
Wait until he wants one and go with his ideas, he probably would only want a small one with real friends.