Present opening - at the party or later?

[housemum]

Probably been asked before, but what's the current etiquette re when to open birthday presents? DD3's 4th birthday party is at home (if we were at a party venue I'd keep presents for later in case things got lost).

I'm sure when I was little the party girl/boy always opened their presents at the party but nowadays the presents seem to go on a table to be opened later.

I can see the pros and cons of both - good for children to see "their" present opened by the recipient, but not so good if there are 2 or 3 of the same item! It's a good way to pass time without kids running around, but the guests might get restless sat watching the presents being opened.

I have no idea but want to know too! On the one hand I think it's nice as you say for the giver to see the present being opened, but on the other hand I like the kids to take time over it, and appreciate what they get and also for a e.g. 2 hour party time goes really quickly so time is a bit short.

No
Always afterwards

I suppose afterwards means that if you already have the same thing, you can either decide it's something that having 2 of doesn't matter or agree with DC that you'll see if you can exchange it if its obvious where it came from (eg ELC stuff) and the giver is none the wiser

After the party

I like it at the party, but as each child arrives and hands their present over, the birthday child immediately takes it, opens it, says thank you, with parent on hand to say thanks too and put it safely to one side if it's not to be played with straight away. Rather than a huge long present opening ceremony with everyone watching.

With my 4 yr old I would say not at the party in case she did what she did at Christmas and tell the giver (aunt + uncle) exactly what she thought of present. They may also tell the giver if they already have the toy. Maybe that is why the trend has changed. I may change the rule for dd1 who will be 7 as hopefully she can be sensitive to her guests.