Non-parent desperately seeking advice for entertaining with children

[weinjo]

Most of my friends now have babies and small children, though I don't yet. I've found that since having children, I get to see much less of them but I really miss having them in my life, and I'd like to get to know their kids, too. I'd love to to invite them round more often (with their children) but don't know where to begin. I get anxious that it's really hard for them to include in their day, particularly when it's not a very child-orientated environment, and don't know how to make it feel worth the effort. What are the best times for inviting parents with small children over? Do I need to invest in kit/ toys? Do I need to cook separately for them? How can I ensure my friends will feel relaxed about bring their children over so that we can all (including the children) enjoy the day together?

best time i would think is lunchtime-afternoon

invite them all over, ask if there is anything special the kids can/can't eat etc... in fact you could just do a buffet type thing with sandwiches etc etc if there is plenty of choice then there's bound to be stuff that they will eat
no need to cook separately for them i wouldn't have thought

just make sure your house is kid-proof! i think your friends will obviosuly be aware that you won't have piles of toys etc and bring stuff with them...

if you have cream sofas/carpets etc then put throws over them and rugs down, just so that when the kids drop chocolate and ribena everywhere it doesn't matter so much!

Firstly, if you plan to invite anyone with kids round, move anything you value out of sight or out of reach. I learned that lesson when single and having friends/children around. Expect a lot of untidiness. Get some simple foods in - oven baked foods, finger foods always best and easiest. A glass or 3 of wine for the parents and yourself (but don't get too pissed or there will be a riot). Timings can be flexible but not too late in the day. I guess some cheap and straighforward toys would always go down a storm as well. Most of all relax and enjoy your friends and their childrens company. I am sure your friends will feel comfortable if they don't have to constantly watch their kids, and if you are relaxed. Have fun !

I agree about summer etc - good idea - if you have a garden there will be less mess indoors.

a box of toys is always a great idea. it keeps the visiting children from rioting with your belongings. you can get things from charity shops. things like lego, geomag, or playmobile fit quite a range of age and type of child. also simple games.

also having some food which most kids like, and not minding when they are fussy about what they're offered to eat - so many children are fussy eaters you might as well anticipate it. for example they nearly all eat pasta.

make it clear where they can play and which rooms are off limits.

it's lovely still seeing friends without children. we have 3 under 6 and i really appreciate the childless friends who make a bit of an effort with ours.

Think it is much an attitude of mind as a practical issue. You sound a thoughtful friend which goes a long way in itself.

Agree summer is probably easier all round - then get in loads of bubbles and a few foam outdoor toys such as balls, planes/rockets etc and do a bbq. If you want to have them over in the meantime then keep it simple. If things start to get stressful indoors, could you suggest a local walk and go back to yours for refreshment. Depending on age of kids you can cater separately or just make a simplified version of whatever the adults have - casserole without salt or chewier ingredients for example - or do jacket spuds and offer a variety of filling (cheese, tuna, chilli, sour cream) and salad from which they can do a pick and mix. For under 1's many parents would be likely to bring their own supplies and small toys but it is nice to check.

They won't expect you to childproof as such but any obviously tempting fragile, valuable, potentially edible, dirty or sharp items should be put out of reach. Expect some noise and perhaps clear a space in the middle of the room for play. Unfortunately there may well be mishaps. Have some wipes and tissues on standby just in case !

Do you have to invite them to your place ?
Why not arrange to meet at a child-friendly restaurant ... doesn't the mainland have Wacky warehouse - or something like that - where there is a soft play area for the kids ??? - when the adults can have a meal and perhaps a glass ?

child-friendly places are ok... but it gets bloody expensive, especially if you have more than one kid etc etc
plus, those with smaller kids can't do anything with them

much nicer i think to invite to your house! just be relaxed

going to restaurants with childless friends would be my idea of a nightmare. they would be bound to misbehave and i would spend my time apologising. it's bad enough taking a restless pack of toddlers to a restaurant without a non-parental audience.

agree attitude is all-important. if you seem pleased to see the children and don't get too phased when they are a bit noisy or messy or impatient, you'll probably be a big hit and loved for ever.

and if the children are awful at least you can be glad you aren't their parent and that they will go home sometime

I find it much easier to have childfree folks over to mine. Is it feasible for you to "hint" at visiting them?

If the visit is casual, and you help with the kids, it needn't be that much work for the parents, iyswim.

I'm always struggling with naps and timing, when we go to see people. Late morning, for an early lunch, is probably easiest for me. So I guess the timings vary from family to family.

I had this problem ( ages ago ) ...

How old are the kids ?
What is your budget ?
Depends how adventurous you are feeling ?
Why not have a children's party for one of your mates ( ie : the next available birthday IYKWIM )

a couple of party games like pass the parcel, musical bumps go down well - or a sweetie treasure hunt in the garden

.... or push the boat out and hire a magic man ....

My mates really appreciated it - and included me a bit more often - I think initially they thought that I didn't want to get involved in all that kiddie stuff ....

They then made the effort to do the girlie nights out as well !!

Thanks so much, that's really helpful. It's so easy for non-parents to forget that unless the kids are happily occupied, their parents aren't going to be able to concentrate on anything else.
From what I've observed from mates, from about 2, kids will play together and look after each other given a few things to do, but until then, they are more demanding of their parent's time and attention when in an unfamiliar situation. Does that sound about right?
What an amazing network you are! It's really heartening to know about - one of the big fears I've always had about becoming a parent is the isolation.

If cooking I would let the parents know what you were having. I have had a few embarrising moments when kids have been served up food they don't like. Kids can all be a bit picky or fickle, gives parents a chance to suggest a sandwich will do for the little one.

If you have a digi box put on CBeebies or pick up some kids videos second hand, we send all the kids (older kids that is) upstairs to watch a suitable DVD gives us a chance to chat.