8 th birthday - what is the best thing to do?

[Lonelymum]

Please can you be totally honest with this dilemma as I really need to know what is the right thing to do.

Ds2 is going to be 8 just before Christmas. He wants to have a party in our home (which on its own seems very rare these days) and he wants a traditional party - you know, party games, tea, etc.

The problem is, no-one seems to do this much anymore and certainly boys his age seem to have football parties and the like if anything at all. We have recently moved and ds2 has found it very hard to be accepted by the boys in his class, mainly because he is a) very bright, b) not very mature for his age, and c) not into football. (Reasons given in order, I think).

What I need to know from you, honestly please, is: do you think having a traditional party with traditional party games will make him the laughing stock of his class (among the boys anyway - ds2 isn't very interested in girls one way or another!)?

I have bad experiences of giving traditional parties in my home before - ds1 had one when he was 5 and the kids were absolute brats - but ds2's parties in the past have usually not been too bad, but that was with his old group of friends - I have reason to believe, these boys are a bit harder than his old friends.

I just don't want to hold a party of ds2's choice only to have his firends ruin it for him, or for them to think he is a baby. Would it be better to persuade ds2 to invite a couple of friends to go bowling with us as a family? I know he would like that as he has been bowling before. Holding a football party is out of the question. Ds2 went to one last night and spent the whole time crying and sitting with the adults as no-one would pass the ball to him as he is so cr&p at football.

I suppose what I am trying to ask you is, would your son prefer a traditional party (or could be made to enjoy such a thing against his expectations) or would he prefer bowling?

Hi Lonelymum, my DS1 is 7 but is in year 3 so most of his friends are now turning 8. He is madly into football but tends to go with the flow and will happily go along to any party, whatever it is and wherever it is!

Could you maybe speak to a couple of his new friends or their mums and check out what they think before deciding? Is it feasible to invite some of his old friends too to balance it out a bit?

can you do a home party but make it a bit "cooler"? have some sort of theme. something gross or icky to keep the 8 year old boys happy.

recently did a halloween party including 8 year olds. slime box, gross games, etc. i realise it's no longer halloween season but as long as you gross them out (my experience of 8 year olds of both sexes) they'll be happy.

8 year olds are likely to be far easier than 5 year olds en masse in a house. a bit more housetrained.

The consensus seems to be that my ds2 won't do himself any favours by having the sort of party he wants then. Just as I thought.

To be fair on him though, the games he wants are not pass the parcel, musical statues, etc. The chocolate game GF suggested is one of the games he wanted to play, also sardines, and perhaps a posting game I know from childhood whereby each child has to post cards into various boxes scattered all over the house - a sort of "run madly round the house" game! Last year, he tried to get his friends to play Twister but they were too inhibited.

So, if I am not really up to doing a gruesome party or painting on t-shirts (I hate mess!) you are really saying I should persuade him of the bowling idea?

BTW, his old friends can't come as we have moved about 150 miles!

Are you sure none of his old friends would travel . We had a frined come over to Switzerland for ds' 5th ! Might be worth asking one or two anyway and making a sleepover of it with a few "new" friends. ds did bowling last year (6th), otherwise how about Karting or Ice Skating ?

We did a cinema party. We all met at the cinema and watched an age appropriate film, I did cinema themed party bags which they took in with them - had a drink and sweets, popcorn etc.. in them. Then they went to McD's afterwards and the parents picked them up. It was a very easy birthday and as DS was also newish at school it didn't matter if anyone didn't show up, although they all came and they had a great time.

Karting would be good in a way - ds1 did karting for his 6th - not sure about ice skating as none of mine have done that before. What if ds2 was rubbish at it and fell over all the time and hurt himself? Not much fun for the birthdy boy is it?

Generally speaking I am wary of physical activities as ds2 is not really physical at all, very small for his age, but competitive so he wouldn't be happy to be outdone by his friends. I thought of bowling because he once did it before at someone else's party and he and my ds1 came first! Not that I want him to alwasy come first you understand, but I don't want him feeling miserable and incompetent on his birthday.

Is it possible to find out weeks in advance if there is going to be something appropriate to watch at the cinema? I can only think of Harry Potter and I should think everyone (but us!) will have seen it by Christmas.

Most cinema websites have a section on what's about to be released so that might point you in the right direction. The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe is due for release sometime around Christmas and I'm sure 8-y-os would love that.

We're off to a cinema party on Saturday - pizza at the birthday boys house first followed by cinema. His mum's putting together a few sweets and a small drink for each child too. We're going to see Harry Potter - can't wait and my 7-y-o is looking forward to it too!

Thanks, it is an idea, I will put it to ds2 and dh.

Or if he still wants a party at home what about a pizza and a film in the house.

We were going to do this last year for DS's 8th. DH was going to bring the DVD projector home from work for the big screen effect and It was going to be Italian Job themed, i.e. Italian Job film and the pizza.

This year we are planning a trip to a climbing centre for DS and 3/4 of his friends. Probably with a meal at a buffet type restruant.

DD had a Pizza Hut party where you get to make your own pizza, not sure if this is cool for 8yr olds.

My DS would hate a football party too. He went to one when he was about 5, he was too young to really care about the rules while other boys took it all very serious and were reglar players. DS has never been bothered with football thank goodness .

I had a traditional party for my ds2 when he was 9. It was half at home and half at the local park; crucially this was during the summer. I don't know how I'd have kept them amused with games if we'd stayed in the whole time! What we did do at the house were: pin the tail on the donkey (except we used Robbie Williams for a frisson!), a pintada (SP?) at the end which helped fill the party bags too...and a quick pass the parcel. They all enjoyed it by the way.
What about a science party at home? Or someone who brings small reptiles or something.
I do sympathise as my ds2 is not at all sporty either, and football parties etc are so much in vogue.

Dd had a traditional party at home last week with games etc - it was "Movie Madness" themed and seemed to go very well BUT the friends she invited are fairly similar to her (though boys as well as girls. To be honest have always found girls' parties easier at home - did Arty Party, Cooking, Under the Sea, Princesses, Jungle.. Only home party for ds recently drove me mad. I love doing parties and think if ds wanted his at home this year I'd go for either HP or Star Wars theme and do some fun but slightly yuk games. There's a DVD clips HP game around at the moment - bought it but not given to ds yet. If you did cool food that would be an option. Must say I've often found kids love the opportunity for fun, but like you I'd worry about the cool status at school. Will dig out my games books if you decide to go that route. Much harder in winter isn't it? My 4 are all winter babies.

i am doing a party at home for my 8 yr old boy where can i find good instructions for traditional party games?