calling all parents of 5 year olds: party on a friday after school? and how many?

[PavlovtheCat]

DD is 5. We are going to hire a soft ball centre for some of her friends.

1. Her birthday is on a friday. We are going to book it for the saturday if we can, but possibly this will be booked. If it is, what are your opinions on it being at 4pm after school in a friday? Also thinking it might be very busy with lots of other children using the soft ball centre who are not in our party.

Is this a bit much for them after a long week at school? and after a long day that normally includes PE ?

And, also, whatever day we do it. What are your thoughts on number of children for the optimum party? 8? 10? (including birthday girl).

THAT was an extra-ordinarily badly posted OP

"also thinking it might be busy with lots of other children..." on the saturday, not the friday.

I think after school would be fine - 10 children or so. Unless all parents of invited children have a non working partner that day, it would be kind to offer to take any who need it with you from school to party - I'd have to decline as would still be working at school home time

I wouldn't mind it being on a Friday after school rather than another school night iyswim. At least they have the weekend to recover.
However as CMOT has said it may be an issue for working parents to get their child there. We have had a couple of birthday parties on a Friday and I prefer that rather than my weekend being taken over by children's parties.

Also DS is in reception and his birthday is in April so we have already had over half the children in his class having birthdays. The whole class are invited
This means that I have had to invite the whole class back which limits options ie I could not afford 30 kids at soft play. I am hiring the sports hall at the local college and doing my own food.

It depends on the etiquette for your class tbh. If you don't have any restrictions then 10 including birthday girl is fine - you may get one or two who can't come anyway/

After school on the Friday should be ok - they'll all be excited about it and as it's her actual birthday makes more sense.

We did this for DD's 6th birthday last year (except it was a Wednesday). We had the party at home and I collected 2 extra girls from school as parents still at work and the others were dropped off at 4pm (so time to get home get changed into party clothes). Worked out really well and was a nice ending for DD's birthday.

Plus I agree with Sharon, it is a pain having a weekend taken up with a party so Friday afternoon will please more parents I would imagaine

I would certainly be able to offer lifts (even CRB checked by the school ) and I am sure other parents would also be able to as well. I know most of the parents of the children at least to say hello to so would be able to talk to them beforehand. Same with other parents of children going, we al natter in the playground (or dh does!). that is a good idea, thanks!

I have got a list of available times now and they are 10:30am, 1:30pm 4pm for the saturday.

I think, maybe the friday might even be better as it will coincide with tea time (eat around 5pm i guess?) for most children anyway? and gives us (and other families the saturday free (we will do something with dd as a family as it is her 5th birthday)

*sharon - x-posts! yes that is what i was thinking. lots of people, esp those who work all week, only get the weekends as a family. and, a 3pm start on sat takes up mostly the whole day.

There has only been one whole class party so far...i guess average is about 8-15? i think 10 is a good number. 7 from school, two others we know plus DD.

Definitely go with Friday after school, like you say it will coincide with tea time after they've had a play and will finish the day off nicely for DD, plus you can then do something on the Saturday as a family.

10 sounds a perfect number, not too little and not too many. Hope your DD has a fab time.

(so, school finishes at 3:20pm, sometimes 5 mins later. 5 mins fussing about, 30 mins to get dressed/get to party).

The other alternative is to hire out a hall nearby (can get it fairly cheaply through parent at school) hire a bouncy castle, invite the whole school and do sandwiches for the lot of them...

The last whole class party was this. It was great fun for the children, but rather wild! And was not actually the whole class as it was in the holidays so lots could not come, probably about 20, most parents stayed and drank coffee. I recall thinking 'insane' but a good idea if brave enough...not sure i am brave enough!

no. scrap that. I prefer the idea of a small group of children, makes it more special, and helps to strengthen the friendships she is making better for my nerves

Oh god if I could get away with it I would just do a small party for his closer friends. I fully intend on doing this next year. I think in reception once the standard is set by the Sept/Oct/Nov birthdays it is difficult to do something different. However Y1 will be different.

Go with your original plan - can you do party 4.30 -6.30 if you think it will be too much of a rush?

I think I can talk to them about changing the time to 4:30pm. They seem quite strict on times, but i am sure if I explain they will be a bit lenient. Even 15 mins would make it less of a rush. And, 4:30pm start means they will get more of the equipment to themselves as it will be quieter at that time!

I think your original idea is fine. Does 4pm give everyone enough time to get home from school/get changed and get to venue? If it was me I would pick DD up with change of party clothes and get her changed in the car.

I know what you mean about the children not invited. We had this recently when DD was handing out invites for her 7th birthday party. Girls hovering round her waiting to see if they had an invite. Me loudly whispering to DD to be discreet in handing them out..... I felt guilty but realised that they have to learn that they won't get invited to everything and I know DD doesn't get upset if she doesn't happen to get invited to parties.

sorry, keep crossing posts with you! 4.30pm sounds good then it won't be such a rush

I think the teachers/DD will put the invites straight into their bookbags...when DD has had invites she has had unopened invites in her bag and we open them on the way. DD talks quite matter of factly that she has not been invited to x or y's party and has not been upset. When she mentions it, we just say there is not space for everyone so only some can go, sometimes she gets picked and sometimes not. She is fine with that. Very true, they need to get used to it, and it is not like they normally have whole class parties so feel it is them personally not being invited to something everyone else is being invited to.

40 mins is enough time to get out of school gates (takes forever!) and get to party, leaving not very much time to get changed. We will go straight to party venue (DH will already be there i expect) and DD can get changed there. If I take any others, they can get changed with DD there, might be quite nice for them to do it together!

oh i feel all excited now! !

Wow- don't any of the parents in your area work?
We could never have after-school parties, as only about 3 children would be able to go!

Yeay! All sorted.Sounds like a plan

My boys are 8 and 5 and have never had anything other than a small party at home with a handful of friends. In their classes there have been a mix of no parties, small parties at home (5-8 kids), smallish parties at soft play or swimming parties (10ish), large parties at village halls. They have been invited to some, and not to others - and have been completely accepting of this.

I think 4-6pm on a Friday for a reception child is fine now we are into the spring and summer terms, I wouldn't have been happy about it in the 1st term when then are all settling in and are (in general) worn out.

You might find they won't budge on the timing of 4pm, and they have set slots, and times for the food etc.

The getting changed thing can be done in the car when you arrive, or don't get changed - they are going to be running round like mad things in soft play, so they just need comfortable clothes, if this is their school clothes that is fine.

meant to say - a small party at home on the day of their birthday, regardless of which day of the week that falls.

brilliantdisguise There are a lot of forces children, so lots of the children's parents the mothers of the children are SAHM parents. or, like me, work part time, or share the drop off/collections with their partners/grandparents/other family members/share collections with other parents.

FWIW, I would hand the invites out yourself to the relevant parents. The teachers will not deliberately forget or anything but they do have lots of other things to think about and cannot prioritise your party invites. Some may get lost or forgotten accidently.

Also, in case you're still not sure about friday after school, saturday and sunday mornings are usually very quite at soft play. DD has been to two parties recently, one at 9am on saturday morning and they had the whole place to themselves and one at 10 am on sunday morning and it was empty too (different venue).

Good luck whatever you decide. DD's 5th birthday party was her last until she's at least 18!! Thankfully she was happy for her 6th to be celebrated slightly differently

I did a small (ish) party last year at home, boy that was hard work!

Next year, small party, this year wanted it a little bigger as it is her 5th birthday, but agree with couple of friends at home or out for a film or aquarium or something will be fine!