Seating plan etiquette help needed please!

[reddaisy]

I am organising a surprise party for DP on Saturday.

There will be roughly 30 people there and there will be tables of 6 people.

What is the right etiquette for organising a seating plan? Do I make sure people sit with people they know or do I mix it up a bit so people get to know each other?

There is going to be a very modern mix of people there including his ex-wife and her partner and DP's parents etc. So should I sit them together for example so she isn't with my family? But is that weird to sit her with her ex in-laws?

Do I have to be careful about who sits on mine and DP's table? Is there a hierarchy? I don't want to upset anyone, I just want everyone to have a good time!

Help please!!

Bump! Can anyone help please?!

Do you need to do a seating plan. If not, then I wouldn't bother, then people can sit next to who they want to. Just make sure you reserve your spaces.

I would have a seating plan - avoids a scrum, and anyone being stuck with the only seat being by an ancient foe.

Do people fall into the right number of natural groups: if so, I'd go with that. If not, you'll have to work out groups which seem likely to gel. Any singlies to match-make? (often fun).

Do you have reliable mutual friends to put with the ExW?

You DH should try to place hop - can be seen as naff, but unless there's a lot of other mingling time, it'll be the only way he'll get enough time with people.

god I hate being sat next to strangers. but maybe I'm just a miserable caaaah.

I'm with lowlevel - I hate sitting next to people I don't know and having to force small talk

I'd do a seating plan to avoid inconvenient empty spaces and to minimise the amount of time taken for people to actually allocate themselves to a table (without a plan it can take hours). It will also make sure your mix of guests have the best possible time at the party.

I've done a billion and one table plans and without exception, the parties that people have had the most fun at are ones where they have been seated with people they already get on with.

I've also seen a couple of spectacular fallings out where I've badly planned the table people have been mixed with other guests they don't know.

I also hate seating plans especially when I'm stuck with people I don't know but I think I definitely need one this time.

Who should be at mine and DP's table? What is the etiquette for that? It wouldn't work him table hopping unfortunately.

As there will only be 5 tables at the party it would be easy for him to move around the remaining 4 tables after the meal to chat to everyone so I wouldn't worry too much about table hopping.

Maybe you and DP can have closest friends on a table, his or your parents on a table with similar aged people or other family members, and group the other 3 tables by friendships. Put together those who would get on well on each table.

Unless it is a very, very formal party there's not too much etiquette to take into account tbh.

Thanks daisydotandgertie for the advice.

I will give that a try. I have organised some rather structured entertainment for the evening so it complicates things a bit but fingers crossed it will work out well.

I don't think there's too much of a problem mixing people on tables as long as every person/couple knows at least one other person/couple on their table. We did this at our wedding (as some people didn't know anyone else who was coming) and it worked out quite well. When we put peopl with others they didn't know, we did try quite hard to match them with other people who shared interests etc.