Do you know how to throw a good party? Please can I have your tips? I'm terrified!

[LemonDifficult]

I think I want to have a party, but I'm feeling nervous. The biggest party I've organised before was DS's christening and that was just family really, so this will be a new challenge. DH is not a big party person and so this is going to be my gig - how can I make sure it isn't a flop?!

The date will probably work out somewhere around the end of November so not exactly a Christmas do and I realise that I'll need to get moving quickly as it's quite soon. We've just moved to this area and there are people I've just met that I'd like to be friendly to, and we're also close enough to old mates to invite them too, so it'll be biggish.

I dread the thought that people will turn up, stand around not mixing and then slope off as soon as they can. Any advice on how I can avoid this? And is it too early to have mulled wine? Do people even like mulled wine?

Grovellingly grateful for all advice!

End of November definitely not too early for mulled wine!

Love your name LemonDifficult.

Hooray! A party.

My one important tip would be to invite people in the good old-fashioned personal way. Ring people to invite them or speak to them personally if possible...in my experience of party-throwing, if you generically email or FB people they're more likely to be flakey and possibly not turn up which makes it much more difficult to work out numbers.

What kind of party do you envision it being?

I like mulled wine but I have wondered if it's responsible for making me feel sleepy at Christmas parties (I know, I should just drink less )

Generic email or FB good for advance warning but ask again nearer the date in a more personal way, definitely.

We hooked up a laptop to the stereo speakers and had spotify (a music-streaming thingy) so that anyone oculd add music to the playlist - that keeps people occupied and gets people talking and also means you don't have to stick to music that is in your personal collection.

If ther is any food (or mulled-wine) preparation do it before so that you can mingle and say 'James, do you know Rachel? James did Archaeology with me at university and has travelled here from Newcastle, I work with Rachel and she has just got back from a trip to Cyprus' (blah blah blah but it does actually help)

Keep it Simple

Don't do too many different kinds of food - don't overstretch yourself on the catering - do three things well rather than 90 different bits and pieces

Let other people help

Make it easy for people to help themselves to booze.

Get a few people lined up to be there before it officially kicks off to avoid being there with the people you least wanted to invite and who need lots of attention whilst you are still busy organising stuff

Lots of quality champagne. Always a winner!

Alcohol

Unless you party is very formal I find the following format always works:

Greet guests at door and immediately offer a specific drink e.g. champagne/mulled wine etc. This has two benefits, the guests immediately feel welcome and have something to do (i.e. hold a glass) and unless they decline and ask for something else you save time which can be spent talking to them/introducing them to other guests rather than tying you up in the kitchen with complicated drinks orders. Obviously have other options of people would prefer.

Set up a bar area somewhere in the kitchen/dining room have everything you need out and make it clear that people should help themselves, then you just need to keep an eye on those who are a bit shy to do so.

Have music on from the begining. Something that just breaks the silence in the begining.

Good cheese board.

Chilli and baked potatoes with bits later - don't forget a veggie chilli too.

Chocolate cake, trifle and a big tin of chocs later still.

Agree make it easy for them to help themselves to drinks but maybe make a couple of jugs of Winter Pimms and ginger beer to start with - nicer than mulled wine!

My sister throws great parties. And her secret is to make that little bit of extra effort that gets guests a little excited before or as they arrive. Eg ask people to dress up to make it more of an occasion (doesn't have to be smart - can just be "wear something sparkly" or "bring a little christmas cheer". Or put some time into decorating the house with a theme or just in a party way - doesn't have to be complicated but lots of candles, or some balloons or similar can work really well.

I also think late November could easily be an early Christmas party or certainly a "celebrate winter" party. Do you hvae a garden? Can you get a bonfire going or some ridiculous winter games (I went to one once where you had to hammer nails into a log. I can't remember the details - too drunk - but I do remember everyone having a great time). I'm sure you could get ideas online.

And mulled wine is a great idea. Rather than just offering a glass of wine, some kind of festive drink on arrival always works well - a champagne cocktail, mulled wine etc. So I would definitely include mulled wine in your planning.

Oh and en joy it. The more you do teh more everyone else will.

Thanks, Q. I'm thinking drinks, sausages and prune and bacon things so I guess 'Drinks and substantial eats' (unless that sounds too naff). I was supposed to be going for a weekend away in Manchester with my best friend but she had to cancel so I'm going to use the cash I'd set aside for a party and it may even stretch to getting a student in to help serve things.

For the invitations, I'm not on facebook so that's out. I think DH favours email as the easiest method but I agree it doesn't make people feel very special. Do you think it's too late to send out proper invitations in the post? If it's going to be 22 November then I've only got four weeks.

I'm not up on how to do them on the computer but there may be a quick way of doing them online and then having them printed up.

Wow, thanks, everyone. I've got two rooms - dining room and sitting room - and I could do a garden thing too. (Nails and a hammer, while drunk? DH will LOVE that!)

I'm now thinking that I might go with BG's cheese board idea and set it up in a different corner to the 'bar area' and keep it stocked all evening so people can help themselves to that and not rely entirely on things being handed round. I'm pleased mulled wine seems to be popular as that'll make the house smell festive.

I'm going to think about how to make the house look partyish too. I haven't got a massive budget so I probably can't spend on wreaths and flowers if I'm going to have someone to help me hand things around. Could definitely stretch to some candles from Ikea though.

ooo I love a good party.

Make sure the space is right, not too much space, and not too little. So everyone is forced together to chat.

Make sure everyone has a drink immediately to loosen them up.

A couple of tall candle sticks or any old candlelabra in the centre of your food/drinks tables. Depending on your house style, white tablecloths/sheets on the tables, with posybowls of flower heads - don't need to spend a fortune.

Keep the tealights for out of the way corners - not for the food or drinks tables as people set fire to their sleeves when reaching over them! Again, make a focal point with them. A line of tealights along a windowsill or a mantlepiece?

If it's finger food provide piles of tiny coloured napkins.

Not sure about mulled wine meself...prefer champagne/bucks fizz/Pimms/. Or just beer in glasses straight from the freezer for some?

motn, I take your point about space. Not sure how I'll manage that at the beginning though when there's just a few people.

I like the idea of putting candles out on the table even though people wont be sitting down to eat. I think I'l do some sort of cheese board feature table.

Shall I bother spending the cash on posted-out invites? Or should I save it and spend it on more help?

Last year we designed an email-invite which looked like a paper one which we sent out to people (it was a themed party and people had to dress up etc) and that worked well. We sent it to everyone individually not a group email.

A bonfire in the garden would be awesome if it's the right weather....and you could always do marshmallows on sticks, chestnuts etc, tea lights in jam jars for cheap outdoor lighting. You may well have people wanting to go out anyway to smoke.

If you get people drunk enough for silly games, there's a good one you can play with after-eights where you sit people down and put an after-eight on everyone's forehead. It's then a race to get the chocolate in the mouth without using your hands...(yep you do have to have lost your inhibitions by then....)

Oh and let people know if you'd like them to bring a bottle of something/some cheese etc...

Brilliant idea to get people to bring cheese. You get get some to bring cheese and others to bring posh crisps, olives etc.

At our house warming party I offered people, on the advice of a friend whose parties were always really good, a cocktail of cava with a splash of tequila. It helped loosen people's inhibitions and the party was really good.

Lemon, make sure that a few trusty friends/family will be the first to arrive. They will occupy the room, pour a few drinks and engage the newcomers in comversation. The next lot to arrive will come into a buzzy atmosphere. Just make sure friends/family/employees are on hand to make sure everyone has a glass in their hand!

A personal Email invitation or paper one is good. Just make sure you impart somehow that it's in celebration of Winter or New to the Neighbourhood or whatever so that people feel included straight away.

Wish I was coming!