Is a small mid-week afterschool party a good or bad idea for a 5 year old?

[Pernickety]

DD2 turns five soon. As she has only just started school, she doesn't have an abundance of established friends to invite. There are a few girls in her class who she played with at nursery (attached to the school) and she has made 2/3 new friends in the past week.

I don't feel comfortable doing a big weekend party with friends that are so new. Instead I have thought about doing a low key, after school tea party for 4/5 of the girls.

I thought I'd get them to do something crafty, maybe do a treasure hunt in the garden, decorate pizzas to eat for tea, maybe a few games like pass the parcel - but generally I'd give them time to freely play.

Can you see any problem with this? The only thing I thought of was an after school party means parents probably won;t be able to stay with their children (if the children want them to stay) as they'll have other siblings to look after. Also, some may normally go to afterschool care if their parent works. Would they be happy letting me take them home after school instead when I don't know them very well?

I know that when DD1 was 5, none of the parents stayed at the party. Is that more normal for 5 year olds? All the children in DD2's Reception class are winter born children so all are almost 5.

DH says just give out the invites and let the parents of the children worry about logisitcs if their child wants to come. But I'm a worrier by nature!!

TBH, in the first year of school all the parents stayed for parties as many did not know each other. I would not let DS go with another parent rather than ASC if I did not know them.

Also, school can be very tiring for some children and afternoon activities may not be on the agenda.

I'd go for the weekend. Afternoon parties are very rare here though so i'm assuming the weekend is the usual time to have them.

Thanks for your response. I hadn't thought about the tiring aspect. What does ASC stand for?

Gah, I really dislike the whole party thing. I don't think I have enough time to organise a weekend party and wouldn't have enough guests or an exciting enough event oragnised to warrant people giving up an afternoon of their weekend.

Would it be better just to let DD2 invite 2 friends from school (the ones whose mothers already know me) for a very small celebration?

I don't think it's a bad idea at all. When children come here to play after school, they certainly don't seem too tired to wreck the place have fun.

I think a couple of friends for birthday tea after school would be a really lovely party, especially if you're planning some sort of activity. You don't need to accommodate loads of adults if you stick with just a couple of children.

Thank you.

Pixie, why would it be slighly odd to not let my DS go off with what is essentially a stranger?

DS is older than reception now but I still wouldnt let him go off with somebody I didnt know alone.

He plays with friends all the time, we have them mainly here as its easier (no siblings) and I would let him go to peoples houses that I knew. That wasnt what the OP asked though, she asked if parents would be fine with her taking the children straight from school when they hardly knew her and I responded to that.

I doubt that parents who don't know me would consent to me taking their child home with me instead if they had never set eyes on me. I was just wondering if I should offer that as I don't want to exclude a child from the 'party' if there is no parent available to collect them from school and bring them to my house. But I suppose I would expect to make contact with them in the playground before that, if they wished to go with that option.

I think I'll try and give out the invites by hand and leave it up to the parents. If only two children come, so be it. DD2 will still enjoy the occasion.

I think it's a nice idea - just the same as them going to tea at a new school friends house but with added fun!

I was happy for my DC's to got to other children's houses for tea after school. As long as I'd met the parent at swapped contact details. It's a good way of them to make friends, I think.

They won't be too tired as long as there's no activities that require toomuch attention.

GO FOR IT!

A new boy started at my son's school last week, on the wednesday I spoke to her on the phone, during that conversation on she invited my ds over to play - it didn't occur to me not to allow him to go and play. I met her at school to introduce my son to her so she knew who she was picking up, and that was the only contact.

Maybe I'm too slack!

No you're not colapops! Unless we are supposed to do house inspections and CRB check before we allow our DC's go out for tea with a new school friend.

I think it's a great idea - dd went to one when she was a similar age and it went really well (despite me thinking she may have been to tired - she definitely wasn't!) and I didn't have to make her tea - bonus

Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me. I'm feeling happier about going ahead with this.

This is exactly what I have done with my eldest dd for the last couple of years.

We generally have a theme, so one year it was a teddy bears picnic, last year they all made necklaces and had a really girly party, for her 4th birthday she had a fairy theme, they all dressed up and I bought some cheap pink net to decorate the fireplace etc, then they had a tea party in the garden.

I normally have 5 or 6 girls altogether and they all love it.