Christening etiquette re gifts - how should i word it ?

[fakeblondie]

I`m having dd christened at the end of the month and she is my 4th child.

I`d like people to (if they would like ) contribute a few pounds towards a really good Pandoras bracelet which i can add to with charms over the years.

I just dont think she needs another box in the loft full of the usual christening gifts-which however well meaning and thought of they are are usually just wasted.
We seem to have a loft full of silver plated christening gifts !

Do you think it would be ok to say something alomg the lines of - no boxed gifts please we would just like to see you-if you would like to give xxxx anything we`d love contributions however small towards a Pandoras bracelet. I will send pictures of the bracelet when we have bought it and friends and family then might choose to add to it with charms on special occaccions throughout her life.???

Does it sound ok ?
Is it acceptable or should i forget it /

We are having overv100 guests and that would mean a LOT of potential picture frames mugs ect otherwise

I'd just say 'no gifts please'. Some people will want to give a gift anyway and some of them may give you money. Then explain to family and very close friends what you would really like.

Personally I think that is completely acceptable and I would much rather give a contribution towards a gift that is actually wanted rather than just buy the usual christening tat.

I'm sure there will be a lot of negative comments on here re you even being so cheeky as to suggest it though!

Would it not be possible to find a shop where they sell the bracelets and then say if you would like to give a gift we would appreciate vouchers for xxx shop so that we can put them towards the bracelet. Or words to that effect.
At least not then asking outright for cash whcih some people object to.

Honestly, I don't think you should even mention gifts. I know people do it for weddings but I find that a bit cringeworthy but for a christening I find it a bit more uncomfortable.

But if you know people are going to buy gifts anyway, which they will, I think it's much better to specify something you want rather than let people waste their money on something unwanted.
I think generally people appreciate a bit of direction.

depends - i'd be really p*ssed off as a Christening gift, for me, should reflect the religious nature of the event. If it's just a rite of passage for you and your family/friends see it that way, it's probably a good idea.

you could say that you don't want any gifts, but if guests would like, they could sellotape a £1 coin inside a card which you will put towards buying your dd a pandora bracelet and charms to commemorate the occasion...

most people would give more i guess, but you have not asked for it that way iykwim!

(btw...troll braclets may be better imo...all brand beads fit on troll, but not all makes of bead fit on pandora...thats a thread in itself!)

Do your other children have boxes of christening tat in the loft? If so then don't say anything and let people get what they want. I was recently given my christening tat from my parents - and i love each and every piece! Many of the gifts were from much loved friends and family who have subsequently died, and i now feel i have a small connection to them. Your daughter may feel left out if shes the only sibling without.

yes, as grumpypants said, I get something 'religious' for a present at christenings, I think thats why it would 'upset' me.

Think ill leave it then. Someoene has said when they were given theirs it really meant a lot so ill put it all away for her - still think its a load of old tat .

You think religious gifts are a load of old tat? Are you religious? Or did I get wrong end of stick
agree it's very rude to mention gifts on an invite

She will learn a lot more from a Bible/prayer book than she ever will a Pandora bracelet.

For both our DDs' baptisms we included a line on the invitation that said something along the lines of, "if you were thinking of bringing a gift for X, please consider buying something from Oxfam Unwrapped".

For DD1 lots of people did this but for DD2 more people chose an alternative. Although I'd love each of them to have a charm bracelet to be added to, I would feel uncomfortable asking for something completely unrelated to our reasons for having our DDs baptised.

Agressive atheist here and even I would raise an eyebrow at a request like that.

A Christening is a religious ceremony and a Pandora bracelet just seems a bit shallow in that context whereas a bible (for eg) is much more appropriate - sorry jmo