Tattoos on hands

[Oldglasses]

DD (23) has just had tattoos on the back of her hands and DH and I are not happy.
The self-administered stick and poke tattoos started the first year of uni (covid - 2020) due to boredom/depression etc. it was a shit time.
Then she’s had a few professional ones on arms/legs that can be hidden.
We begged her not to get the hand ones done but to no avail - atm she doesn’t work somewhere where it matters, she’s chosen an ‘alternative’ lifestyle but currently lives at home as no money to move out and none in the pipeline either.
I worry about what happens in 5 years time if she decides she wants a change of lifestyle/career - will visible tattoos make this harder? People can discriminate for many reasons even if the company policy allows for visible tattoos.
The tattoos are a bit ‘straw that broke the camels back’ - and the fact they’re permanent is galling.
DD is an intelligent lovely person - but very easily influenced (ND - it goes w the territory).

Most employers can see past tattoos these days, I hope you are able to do this too.

No company is allowed to discriminate due to visible tattoos, it’s a non issue nowadays. I’d be more concerned with how judgmental you are towards your struggling dd. She’s an adult now. If your opinion wasn’t asked for, then don’t give it

Really a non-issue these days. The head teacher at the school my sister works at was covered in them head to foot

Agree, its really a non-issue these days. I work in finance and have a few fine line tattoos on my hand/fingers. Nobody has an issue, in fact one is fresh, and I've got a lot of positive responses to it.

It might be a non issue in the UK for the time being but if she wants to work abroad at any point she’s really limited herself. My employer in Asia says any visible tattoo has to be covered at all times. In Japan they don’t let you into public onsen with tattoos because they are associated with criminals still. Even my cute cartoon character tattoo meant I couldn’t go in and I can usually cover it with sleeves in normal circs. Perma visible ones are a poor choice for anyone who wants or needs to travel.

Wow, some harsh replies here. I am worried about her, not judging her.. Tattoos are not something I grew up with being commonplace and I didn't come across anyone I knew with tattoos until I was in my 20s/ I know they are ubiquitous now and I have friends with tattoos, but they can be covered up.

If it's true that the workplace is welcoming employees with visible tattooed hands then that's great. However, I worked in a school for a while pre-Covid and tattoos definitely had to be covered up (I remember a colleague on an INSET day saying that she was relieved that she could wear a short sleeved top when there were no kids about).

@IrnBruAndDietCoke - she has expressed a desire to work and live abroad at some point. In fact she often talks about this, although it wouldn't be in Asia.

It is true that it can affect chances in some ways, as you say, but also, isn't laser removal getting much better? Even if she doesn't want to do this now, and it is of course her choice, would it be worth looking into as an option if you think it will affect her overseas careers choices in tghe future?

I know quite a lot of people with decent who have visible tatts, including hand and neck. Not a big deal unless they are expressing dodgy views or something!

What can you do? I agree they look nasty but you can’t stop her.

The good news is they are easy to remove. I had one removed (on my hip - at 40 something I was suddenly so embarrassed about it). It’d been there 20 plus years but took only 5 sessions to remove. Best thing I ever did.

I don’t think you can have a say on what she tattoos or not, however if you’re not happy with it you don’t have to fund her existence either. Tattoos aren’t cheap, so where did she source the money for them?

If she wants a professional career then she has just alienated herself. They are bloody horrible.

Im a head of department, and I have tattoos, visible ones

No, she hasn't. It hasn't done my adult children any harm, or any of the people they manage.

Problem is, your skin ages, loses elasticity, fingers become knobbly, ink fades. Tattoos styles date, think of stars. You can change your outfit according to mood and preference but you're stuck with the design unless a cover up or laser at significant cost. Henna is temporary and looks beautiful.

I’m a headteacher with visible tattoos!

Och, it's fine. I was considering a hand tattoo recently (may still go ahead) and 51 with a professional career. I have other tattoos that are sometimes visible. Not a problem. Meant kindly, I think your viewpoint is slightly old-fashioned. She's 23, certainly old enough to make her own choices.

I’m a plc Board member and have never seen anyone at a similar level with visible tattoos. Rightly or wrongly they would be seen as a negative if your DD has aspirations of a very senior level career.

If she can afford tattoos she can afford to move out. Fwiw i like tattoos and i really don't think they're an issue these days.

You can very much travel in Japan. You can also go to a private onsen.

I am a tech company CEO and have tattoos.

I would say face tattoos are now the only real taboo. Hand ones are ten a penny and no one bats an eyelid unless they are of the ilk that they “don’t like” tattoos!

FWIW I have two full sleeves and very prominent leg tattoos and no one has ever denied me a job because of them. I know plenty in senior leadership roles with tattoos.

I totally understand how you feel OP. My DD also has tattoos and I don’t like them for all of the reasons stated and yes, they definitely date, think of all of those Dolphin and Tribal tattoos from the 90s.

You sound as though you may be roughly the same age as me. I don’t have any and nor do my DFs but things have definitely changed. My workplace was uber strict when I started and even they now allow tattoos on show.

Try to hide your disappointment and keep talking to her about those plans she has.

I honestly don’t think it’s much of an issue these days. I understand your concern but there isn’t much you can do anyway.

Removal has got miles better and will presumably continue to do so.

Secondary school teacher here with hand, finger and wrist tattoos and 😱 a nose ring. My classes behave and do well. I do a good enough job with them.
Last time I checked I was in a professional, responsible and skilled job!

I'm not a fan of tattoos on hands, but it really is a non issue.

I work in Local Government and I'd say over 50% of my colleagues have visible tattoos I sit on quite a few interview panels and we're interested in getting the best possible person for the job. Visible tattoos do not enter into our thinking.