Help end medical misogyny. Sign our petition.

Help end medical misogyny.
Sign our petition.

Sign the petition

Please or to access all these features

Parents of adult children

Wondering how to stop worrying about your grown child? Speak to others in our Parents of Adult Children forum.

DS being groped

9 replies

GazeboLantern · 28/05/2026 16:51

Ds is away in 1st year at uni. He is autistic and independent. He has been groped several times on nights out and it distresses him every time.

How can I help him?

OP posts:
TinyMouseTheatre · 28/05/2026 18:37

Groped by whom?

theresnolimits · 28/05/2026 18:44

Give him the same strategies you would give a girl. Saying ‘No’ or ‘Don’t do that’ loudly. Maintain personal space. Stick with friends. Explain his bodily autonomy and encourage him to understand no one should violate that.

WallaceinAnderland · 28/05/2026 18:52

How do you think you can help him OP?

LarksAscending · 28/05/2026 18:52

Get him to speak to the university’s welfare team, they may have classes on this or online spaces for advice. Or they can do talks about it to the student body.

ChalkOutlines · 28/05/2026 18:56

Groped by whom and in what context? Is the distress caused by a physical, mental , emotional reaction or a mix of all of them? Has he tried anything so far?

HoldMyWine · 28/05/2026 18:59

Is it by the same person each time or randoms? Where is this happening?

GazeboLantern · 28/05/2026 20:39

The first time it happened was in his first week at uni. There was some sort of support person from the uni present at the event. Ds went to them, and Security threw the groper out of the event. I was surprised that Ds did this, as he is resolutely independent and finds it difficult to ask for help.

I think it’s been a man each time, though I don’t know (and I don’t know whether ds knows) if it’s been the same man each time. The first time was another student, possibly also a first year. It can be difficult to ask ds for details. He struggles with some questions, needing precision which can sometimes sound like victim-blaming.

Ds has good friends, fortunately. He understands personal space and consent, but can miss nuances. He sometimes thinks he’s crystal clear, but it’s actually being obscure, and vice-versa. Because he knows he is like this, he is extremely careful in personal relationships.

Ds is 6’3”, a classic gentle giant. Doesn’t look vulnerable.

To the poster who asked how I think I can help ds, I don’t know. That’s why I’m asking!

OP posts:
GazeboLantern · 28/05/2026 20:45

AFAIK it’s happening in clubs.

OP posts:
Soontobe60 · 28/05/2026 20:56

Sadly, the culture in many clubs is still that of anything goes so being groped will be a common occurrence. Whilst occurrences can and should be reported, the only real way to avoid it happening in the first place is to avoid those places.
I would, however, think about how he can avoid it whilst in the club - is it strangers or students he knows? As others have suggested student services could assist him.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread