Adult DD putting on weight

[redwhiteroseallgood]

My DD works 32 hours a week and loves her job but she has no hobbies - after work she just lies in bed and doom scrolls or watches tik tok. She doesnt go out much or spend money on clothes or make up.

She doesnt drink but loves her food and although i offer for her to eat with us she usually gets a take away or a mcdonalds. She has a meal deal for lunch most days. I excercise regularly and eat very healthily and am very active- i am the complete opposite of her. She has put a noticeable amount of weight on recently but she honestly doesnt worry at all. She has always been a bit on the bigger side and as a teenager although she was bigger than her friends she never worried - she he friends who wouldnt eat more than a lettuce leaf in case they put weight on.

She has no qualms about her weight but i am more concerned about the health implications.

I have tried talking to her but she says she will eat what she wants and she is too tired after work to contemplate excercising.

I know she is an adult and able to make her own decisions but so hard to see her not caring about the potential harm she could be doing to her body.

So do i just sit back and let her get on with it? What can i do or say to make her care a bit more.

Forgot to say she is 20 and lives at home.

I think being & gently supportive is the best thing you can do. I am not sure directly addressing it will help. Could you maybe ask her if there are any specific meals she’d like you to cook that week when you do your weekly shop? Or ask if she’d maybe cook once per week? I think trying to gently shift towards family meals is probably best?
Ask if you can buy anything for her lunches to save her some money?

best of luck OP. I’m in similar situation with a family member & it’s such a hard thing to watch x

The more you make it an issue, the more she is likely to shut down/ get annoyed with you. Full time job that she enjoys at 20 is great. I’d be interested in her work, keep the conversation positive. Offer to share healthy meals when she is in the mood, any activities she does enjoy - don’t need to be ‘exercise’ but anything that may get herout into the fresh air. You have to respect that she is an adult with her choices at the moment, and those choices are only affecting her really. At 20, you can eat utter crap/ drink too much etc for a while and still pull it back more easily than when you are 50.

It's hard to see her doing that to herself but I wouldn't say anything. She knows she's not healthy and she probably isn't happy about it despite what she says, but you can only really help and support her if/when wants to make changes.

Also similar DD 20 - & i too complete opposite now, its frustrating cos you know it can affect their mood too. I just think tho that itll pass - & a lot of young people eat crap but improve later. I used to eat a lot of crap at uni. I feel your pain though, keep cooking & carry on!

Asking her to cook the evening meal once or twice a week is a good idea. It's a very reasonable request for a 20yo living at home, and surely she'll cook something healthy if she knows it's for everyone not just her?

I’d be more concerned that she’s so exhausted after only working 32 hours a week and seemingly not doing anything else either.

I’d definitely be encouraging her to do more generally. Or if she’s too tired to do anything, encouraging her to see the GP.

Yes at least she has full time job she enjoys, thats a big accomplishment at that age, at least she's out the house everyday.