Just wondering how much would you charge your 18 year old for rent

[mumofoneadult]

So my dad is 18 I told her she should be paying 300 per month. She did for two months and then said it was too high and can she reduce to 200 I agreed and said but she needs to do some cleaning round the house.

Dd is very lazy and doesn’t think she should have to hoover or clean the bathroom or any cleaning as I’m the mum. So for the last month she paid 200 and did not help atall. The only thing she does is wash her dishes after she cooks, but never wipes the sides or the kitchen sink.

I have told her she will need to pay the 300 as she won’t help, she point blank refuses.

her bedroom is an absolute tip and I’m always telling her to clean it but now she says as she pauses rent she can have her room joe she likes )it has always been a mess even before she paid anything).

so while refusing to pay the amount I set as it’s extortionate, she has also booked to get a tattoo that cost 500.

I just feel like she is being unreasonable but she thinks I am.

I still pay for all her toiletries and food and buy items of food for her that I don’t eat, I don’t think she has any idea how those things mount up.

so just wondering what others dcs of this age pay and what is reasonable.

I think I am also more bothered about her attitude of not doing any house work and expecting me to do it all and then refusing to pay what I said. Even if she didn’t pay any rent but was helpful and didnt cause me to do extra cleaning I would be happier.

I plan to take an approach of respect around the house, and bill/savings/money education from an early age, rather than charge my kids rent. I depended not taking a gap year to work and save money to be able to go to uni, without my mum charging me rent.

However, i did also previously read a suggestion on here to inform DD that on x day, you will be going into her room and putting anything in a bin bag that is on the floor/not hung up or in the wash etc, and chucking it. Apparently that did the trick!

Nothing wrong with charging rent or not, but everyone needs to be respectful to each other.

My condolences that your child needed a monthly reminder of the existence of rent in order to be prepared for independent life.

I charged zero rent.
They were/are all in full time education.
Any jobs they had, they were saving towards graduate degrees, flat deposit, and so on. I didn’t touch any of it.

In this case, you are essentially housemates.

I would have her added to the tenancy agreement as a tenant, her income plus yours would be counted for affordability. She would owe 50% of the rent if it’s just the two of you. Adjust the % she pays if there are other children. You should then stop buying her food & toiletries - those are her bills as is her phone. Sit down and treat her like another adult.

My condolences that your young adult does not feel that they need to contribute to family finances once they leave full time education. My two are proud to contribute.

My son is doing a degree apprenticeship and pays £200/month but he pays for anything he needs and his car. The £200 covers all his food at home. We kept his rent low under the condition that he saves and plans to buy his own house a year or 2 after he finishes his apprenticeship. He is aware that £200/ month is very low.

The problem is they likely won’t, really. Too immature.

My DD talked me into having a gap year because she was going to work, volunteer and save up. She ended up travelling all year, saved absolutely nothing and then went on to online uni, so I an adult essentially 24/7 at home, all her meals here, etc. I tried to not charge for as long as I could but ended up having to talk to her because my bills just kept
going up. She managed to double my water bill, I thought the meter was broken.

@mumofoneadult if your DD isn’t even studying then honestly now I think it’s more than fair to request for a contribution. My DD is only paying a token amount but once she finishes uni she’s expected to pay £200/month (which is still far below what she’d pay in a houseshare and she has groceries included).

My parents never charged me anything, and I think it was immensely beneficial to me.

My parents didn’t charge me when I was on a working gap year, but they knew I was saving for university and then after graduation, saving to move to London. I never went on holiday, and never bought anything frivolous like a tattoo. I contributed in other ways - bought food, cooked and cleaned - and would have felt embarrassed not to. Paying your way in life isn’t always about money.

You’re expecting her to pay close to standard room rent while she’s earning below minimum wage because of her age, and framing that as preparing her for the real world. But in the real world, she’d likely have access to a student maintenance loan of around £10k a year-something she may not qualify for now because of your household income. She’d probably be sharing a room with a friend in a shared for around £200 a month, and figuring out responsibilities like cleaning together. More importantly, she’d be in an environment that supports her independence and confidence, rather than one where she’s being regularly criticised.

I'm just imagining this young lady entering the forces!

There would be a bit of a culture shock in terms of expectations.

The problem is, people don't reach 18 and suddenly think 'I'm an adult now, I should do my share of the housework'. You have to give children increasing responsibility from a young age so that they grow into functioning adults gradually (or let them fail and eventually figure it out after they leave home... hopefully).

In terms of rent, if my 18 year old wasn't in education I would charge a small amount of rent which I'd put into savings for her (unless I genuinely couldn't afford to pay for the increased water, electric, basic food bills). But would make her budget for luxuries herself (so soap, food staples, toilet roll are 'free', but if she wants nicer toiletries or more expensive food options then she pays herself).

In which universe is a room in a student shared house £200 per month? Dd paid £530 per month back in 2021 & had bills on top. Ds is currently paying about £650 per month in a much student cheaper city (his includes bills).

But then there is food, toiletries/cleaning products etc etc on top as well.

A room in a share house with no en-suite outside of London is £400 - £600 with bills included. I’s illegal to charge for bills on top of rent if you’re letting to a lodger. If you share said room with another friend it’s half that.

Friends don't share rooms in a shared house. Couples might but even then it is rare as (especially in London) HMO licences specify the maximum number of occupants.

Dd was not lodging. She had a room in a very grotty shared student house. She did lodge prior to that (in 2019) and was paying £130 per week including bills & evening meal. The same landlady is now charging around £150/160 per week. Ds is currently house hunting in a Northern city with his student friends for next year. Prices are approx £600-700 per month with bills included. He's not fussy, they are looking at very cheap places.

Nowhere is available for £200 per month, especially including bills.

My arrangement with my adult DC who live at home is that their ‘rent’ is an agreed monthly contribution to their LISA and pension. We don’t need the money but I want them to be in the habit of saving, and putting that money somewhere that they can’t easily spend it. Both are building savings that will help them in the future but also appreciating the regular payment coming out and the need to pay your (future) self first.
If we needed the income for the household though, that’s exactly what we would charge and use. If you ask your DD why she feels this way about contributing to the household what does she say? I paid my DM rent in my gap year, 30 years ago - we needed it and of course that was fair. It would be interesting to try and explore her view on this more, if she’s otherwise sensible/ reasonable.

Not the point but why on earth would he need 50% deposit? 10 surely, lower i think is available now

He would want a deposit of 50% to keep mortgage repayments affordable alongside all costs connected to home ownership, not always easy on one wage.

My dd has been working an apprenticeship since July last year. It’s a fairly low wage and city based. I don’t charge her housekeeping but she does save an incredible amount of her salary which I’d prefer her to do. I can’t personally justify her paying her rent when her being here doesn’t cost me anything. She’s also brilliant at helping out about the house and keeps her room immaculate. She also buys her own toiletries. I’ve told her so long as she saves money and lives in my house by my rules she doesn’t have to pay a thing.