In despair this evening trying to support severely depressed adult son.

[jojojoeyjojo]

My son is in his mid twenties and has diagnoses of bipolar disorder, ADHD and severe dyspraxia. He first became unwell at the age of 16 which massively disrupted his education resulting in him acquiring no qualifications despite being quite bright. He has never worked and apart from
one short-term, chaotic relationship has never had a girlfriend. For many years he self-medicated with cannabis and ketamine and mainly lived with his dad (we are separated). He has had patchy support from mental health services…it wasn’t too bad when he was under 18 but support as an adult has been pretty non-existent. Even after a suicide attempt a couple of years ago he just got referred back to our GP who has been supportive, but limited in what they can provide. We are paying privately for ADHD medication and just cant afford any further private care.
At the end of last year he moved back in with me to get away from the drugs and has cut contact with all his friends - they all took drugs but without the underlying serious mental
illness were able to function and work etc.
He is severely depressed now….he is incredibly isolated, doesn’t go out and feels so anxious all the time. He is suicidal and i have called the crisis team a couple of times but they have been disorganised and ineffectual. One member of that team did apologise to me yesterday for their failure to communicate the outcome of a MDT meeting which was just to add him to yet another waiting list. He has been waiting months for a medication review with a psychiatrist for example.
i have tried to stay strong and positive for 8 years but today i just feel despair that anything is going to change. He feels despair and just keeps saying he’s fucked up his life, has achieved nothing and cant go on with his miserable existence. Without the numbing effect of drugs, his situation feels hopeless. I feel tearful and exhausted and have run out of suggestions/encouragement/hope…
He is too anxious to leave the house, engage with any sort of support groups and wont go to stay at his dad’s or sister’s to at least give me some respite.
I don’t really know why I’m posting.. i know no-one has the answer but just wanted to write it down.

Hi, I was wondering how your son is getting on with his new medication

Thanks for your post. The 'comes up with a schedule' is something that may DEFINITELY help my son. We meet with him on Sunday to discuss a plan for the week, but a regular daily schedule sounds ideal too. ANd manageable.Thanks.

So sorry you're going through this!!! How did you get him to agree to the drugs counselling? And with which org, if I might ask? We have suggested loads of things, including mental health writing groups, but he is disdainful of therapists (had a few sessions with an ADHD mentor/psychologist and didn't think the guy was clever enough. Hmm

This sounds all too familiar. Our son told us he's been taking drugs for years to self-medicate and manage things. ADHD and he's looking for AUD diagnosis. Tricky. We've recomended drugs charity and they called him, but he's not great with 'professionals' in mental health or counselling.