Worry my teen is withdrawn after relocating to Yorkshire?

[M3dical999]

We relocated back to Yorkshire 18 months ago when my son was 16 - this was the hardest decision I have ever taken and one that we didn’t rush into. He seemed to love his first year at college but naturally misses his school friends - things have moved on but recently he’s staying in a lot at the weekends. I’m having an absolute meltdown about it as this isn’t usual for him. Any advice? He’s recently got together with a girl but they have a bit of an online relationship to me and don’t do anything together - his mood has definitely changed and I wonder if she is somehow stopping him from being his outgoing lovely self.

Is he at sixth form?

Moved from to? There is a difference between ‘bus ride to York’ and ‘slingsby’. Why did you move etc? Where did you live previously?

Dh was brought up in rural West Country- we now live 3 miles from Manchester. I suggested moving to a market town - 20 mins on a train away from Manchester and he lost his mind about how crap ot would be for all of us if we were to move.

Possibly because Yorkshire is a really unfriendly, unwelcoming place and it's hard to fit in?

Eh? Bit of a generalisation is it not? And also untrue in my experience

Appen

I think 16 is a tough age to move tbh, it's natural if he had good friends to not want to reset socially.

Is he planning to go to uni?

We were in Oxfordshire - he went to an amazing school at 12 but had lived in Yorkshire all of his life until then. His dad is in Leeds. He’s now 18 so not 16 any more and yes, Uni (if he goes) will be good for meeting more friends but his school year group they had never seen before - as in the friendships. Lots of them left at 16 and had we stayed down there he would have been in college by himself as a lot of the friends went to schools I couldn’t afford as a single mum. We had no choice, for safeguarding reasons to do with a controlling ex who refused to sell our house, etc. I wanted to move back sooner but made a promise to my son to keep him at the school until at least the end of his GCSEs - something I didn’t regret at the time as I was doing it for him but in hindsight a quicker move back might have been easier as he would have been at school. He’s now at college and we decided that as everyone is technically ‘new’ to that environment and friendships seem to be formed better in new settings. Just worried that his social life seems to have quietened

Can he get a job in a bar or restaurant? That will get him out at weekends and meeting new people.
Also any sports clubs he could join?

thanks so much for your messages - he did get a job in a bar but they were pretty useless and kept releasing him early from his shift as they weren’t busy - also the bar manager was awful. He did join a football team when we first got back but broke his collarbone (twice) however he has taken up golf so I’m hoping that picks up again once the weather brightens up. He’s also just done a lifeguard training qualification and is hoping he’ll get a job with one of his college friends - it’s just so slow and he’s usually v outgoing so worried it all points to the girlfriend as she suffers with anxiety and I have a feeling he might feel under pressure to stay in, which is awful

Is he heading towards A levels? Might just be focusing on work?

Invite the girlfriend round for dinner? Always good to watch them
together.

A job in Macdonalds or similar is a guaranteed way to make friends. Loads of under 20s to mix and mingle with. Golf is maybe an older person's hobby/sport so more difficult to meet similarly aged people.

Can he take up Padel? It's newish so he wouldn't be 'catching up'. DS 21 is playing a couple of times a week. He first tried with a coupleof other hockey players. It seems to work on pay as you play rather than annual membership at most places.