Help

[Littlegirllost70]

Can anyone offer advice please? My son is 30. He has a full time job. He is well mannered. But I can't help worrying about his health. Both physically and mentally. He smokes, has a poor diet and doesn't exercise. He spends all of his free time gaming. He has real friends who he sees very rarely (perhaps twice a year) He pays very little attention to his personal hygiene. He doesn't bath every day which means he often has terrible BO. He has long hair and a beard, neither of which he looks after. More than anything I want him to be happy and healthy. He said he would like a girlfriend, but I don't know how he expects to meet anyone if he spends all of his free time in his room. I have had discussions with him before now about his health. So am clueless as to why he never puts his words into action.

Has anyone told him to his face about how his BO and generally looking unkempt will affect his girlfriend-idea prospects?

Does he still live with you? Have you tried gently encouraging him to fly the nest? Did he have hobbies and interests as a teenager? At what point did he give them up? At 30 years old it's probably a bit late for you to intervene in his unhealthy habits.

I had a blunt word with my ds at 16, after he ranted that he would never get a girlfriend.

I pointed out that girls generally liked clean, tidy, polite, well mannered boyfriends and when was the last time he showered, changed his clothes or avoided swearing or moaning for a day?

He told me I was wrong, so I told him that frankly he smelt, he had pasta sauce on his sweatshirt, he had dandruff and he hadn't cleaned his teeth. And the only reason I shared a house with him was because I was his mum and loved him.

It took about three days to sink in but he's been generally clean and fragrant since, and remembers to get his hair cut and change his clothes. He has a girlfriend.

Sometimes you just need to say it how it is.