My ds has had a history of drugs mainly weed from age 16. We have endured so much as a family, and have managed to get him back on track several times. I've helped him get employment, join the gym etc. I've tried everything to keep him on track and to stay in his job. We lost my dad 4 months ago. He was very close, and again I kept him close but knew he was drinking and occasional smoking weed. I hid it from my parents to protect them. He's since been staying with a friend for days on end the last month, as far as I know he's been going to work as he would come back on those days. But he's gradually been staying there more and more and now seems to be staying there full time. He was meant to meeting me for a drink. He came back, but little did I know he only came back to pick up some stuff. He was sober but stinking of weed. He hardly spoke to me and was in a rush as his mate was waiting for him. I'm devastated. I know I can't do anything. But he doesn't pick up my calls, and only responds to texts now and then. I don't even know where he is staying. He just seems so cold and detached. We have had our rows and he is neuro divergent, but I always felt we were close and I wanted to maintain that even more when my dad died. Part of me in anger wants to bag up the rest of his stuff and tell him to get on with it. But that's not how I really feel.