How much ‘rent/board/whatever you call it’

[Browniesandcustard]

Hi all,

just wondering how much you ask your adult children to contribute towards household costs.

Background - I’m a single parent - older kids live independently and I have a 19 year old who lives with me. Their dad isn’t interested in contributing at all. I have a good job, but all of my money goes on the mortgage/bills. The 19 year old has 2 part time jobs but I’ve paid for everything so far (since my divorce last year) and I need them to start to contribute. They do sometimes buy food or little bits that they pick up and pay the cost of their insurance on my car, plus their clothes, going out, holidays etc.

Thank you.

450 per month. That covers phone top ups, all his washing, cooking, food, unless they fancy something different. A single room in our area would cost double that, and he’s on a good wage.

I have not charged my adult DC anything, but one was saving up for a Masters (self funding) and the other was saving up to go travelling.

£100 a week.

I know not everyone likes charging adult children board, but I would as a minimum suggest that you stop buying things for them - so they cover their own insurance, clothes, food ... (up to you if you want to treat them when going out/holidays).

They should at least be paying the single person discount you have lost out for council Tax. A contribution to the bills and also their share of food. You need them to contribute financially - so show them the household bills and agree a figure. They may be shocked how much it all actually costs to keep the household going. Have an amount in mind, not so much that they have no money for themselves and resent paying it but enough that it makes life easier for you.

My 20yo dd pays £100 a month which covers the increase in council tax. Shes saving loads for travelling and uni so as long as she’s saving I’m happy to support her.

£300 per month. Ds is 17, works hard at his and is saving for a house and car insurance. He begrudges paying but that’s the deal. I’ve had to take IHR due to cancer and its permanent treatments. Our lives are upside down.

DS works a lot of hours near min wage.
I think 21yo DS is paying £120/month to xH.
That covers heating, house insurance, wifi, lekki and most meals for DS.
DS pays for his own phone, travel, entertainment, clothes, etc.
DS also brings home a lot of discounted food from where he works (DS pays for it). Takes £10-£25/week off the household food bills.

You'll need to work out how much they cost - so what are you spending on food and energy/water.

Then have a conversation about it.

It's not rent, it's just covering their own expenses.

I think our adults cost £300 per month each in what they consume/use.

It's more than we charge them, but that is a deliberate choice and they are aware that it is.

Different circumstances would mean different choices.

Mine pays £350 but I’ll give it back to him when he leaves

Why would you do that? Better to teach them about saving and investing rather than acting like a piggy bank.

I would expect them to cover all their own costs like clothes, phone bill and half the food shop if you have meals together.

But my aim would be for my kids to live independently so as long as they are saving up to eventually move out, then I wouldn’t charge them any rent.

Do they have a plan to try and move out? Are they saving?