Child protection initial conference

[adultchildhelp]

My daughter is 6 months pregnant to an abusive man.

She has rang the police a number of times during the relationship and being to hospital for injuries. She accessed help from a domestic abuse charity. She has repeatedly gone back to the man.

She now has a social housing house. She was told 10 days ago she must not see the father anymore or the baby will be removed when born.

She has not seen him since. There’s a child protection conference planned. I am hoping that saying she won’t see the ex and sticking to that will be enough to mitigate the risks (they’ve told her multiple she isn’t the risk).

Can anyone offer any idea of what is to come? I have not been in any of the discussions with the social worker (daughters request).

I’m also terrified she goes back to him and the baby ends up in care but for now I’m trying to understand what happens if she doesn’t go back.

Thank you

If she has gone back numerous times then SS will naturally think she may do do again. Hopefully, for everyone's sake she won't. How long since she has had contact with him? If she doesn't see him at all it should be ok. But I expect the situation will be monitored.

Will she let you attend the child protection conference? It is very important that you are not kept at arms length and the social worker knows you are supporting. If you or other family members would want to care for the baby if the decision is made in future that the baby needs to be removed - they need to know that now, ask if they are planning to arrange a family group conference. Of course hopefully she does everything asked of her, keeps the baby safe and the baby stays with her, but it is important to have contingency plans in place and you are not being disloyal to her by contacting the social worker.

Well as she has a history of returning to an abusive relationship they will want to know how she will ensure that she doesn’t return to this relationship. They will be expecting her to be accessing support including the freedom programme and therapy.

they will be looking at what support she has around her and whether she is isolated etc and ensuring that not only does she not return to the father but also that she doesn’t end up in another abusive relationship.

the conference will outline all concerns that social services have.

Are you willing to bring up the baby of they do end up being removed?

She doesn’t want me at the conference. I think some of that is that I’ve told her since she got pregnant with this man that this is where we would end up and she told me I was ridiculous. Our relationship is also strained at times - she won’t listen to reason or make good decisions. She has ADHD and uses that as a reason to not work.

Yes she has a history of going back into the relationship. She probably hasn’t seen him for 10 days. Since the social worker said she must have no more contact. To that point they advised she didn’t but talked about putting things in place if she did - I wish they said earlier that she must not see him as things are better being very black and white to her.

Am I willing to raise the child - I really don’t know. I’ve said for months I wouldn’t and I’m very worried about what it would mean for my daughter, the rest of my family and financially how it would work. But could I be the one to decline and put the baby in care? I don’t know.

She is engaging with everything the social worker and the domestic charity suggest and assured everyone she will never see this man again (although understandably it’s hard to believe this)

She will be given opportunity to demonstrate that she won’t go back to him. In this case, I’m not sure the baby should be placed with you. Your DD may view you as the person who has taken her baby and be less cooperative with you. It also means she can blame you if it goes wrong. It will be easier for you to support her if the baby is placed with a foster carer. She may well find it easier to cooperate with a foster carer than with you- fresh start and all that.

Obviously, I hope she manages without the dc needing to go into care at all.

Thanks. @PrizedPickledPopcorn. I know exactly what you are saying.

When you say ‘she’ll be given the opportunity to demonstrate that she won’t go back to him’ - do you mean that will be enough pre birth? There’s just under 3 months to go so I’m hoping that it’s long enough for them to see she won’t go back (if she doesn’t - which is obviously the hope!)

I don’t know what the arrangements are in your area, and my knowledge is historic. I collected babies from the hospital when their parents were unsafe. The midwives raised concerns on occasion, or social services were already involved.

Make sure SS know about you and can contact you if they want to- they may not unless they do decide to remove the baby. She will be assessed and watched.
A friend had to inform SS that the baby’s father was again visiting her daughter, and ended up with the chilDren living with her while her DD sorted herself out.

She must not go back, she can apply for a non molestation order to show social she’s taking this seriously. I went back, again and again until I had a nervous breakdown and he flipped the script into him being the stable parent and now I’m fighting in court for my child’s return from him. It is dangerously what she is likely doing. My ex assaulted me at 8 months pregnant and was charged with assault by beating, the day my child was born, he managed to coerce me to drop the statement and lead me with the promise of change and a family life I’d always wanted. I was so vulnerable having given birth and hormones made me want him to be with us both. Biggest mistake of my life as I sit here, the system that first protected me then switched to protecting him and blaming me, it’s a whole other story but dont underestimate the lengths these men will go to to secure power over us, and not returning our children is very very common way to do it. The systems have a very long way to go before they adeptly manage DV and the onus is on the impact on us from the abuse and how that manifests naturally in trauma and emotional actions, that’s used against us. Further more the onus is on us to protect children from abuse naturally so, but there’s zero consistent onus on the perpetrator causing the issue in the first place. There’s scant consistent understanding on why it’s difficult to leave and why women go back, and the blame is always on the woman for doing so and the man gets a free card pass, and often uses that to take residency of the child. Family court is secret, and that is why majority of people will say ‘social don’t do or action ABD for ‘no reason’ when it’s really not as simple as that. Sure they can have a reason, whether it’s fair or true is another story, these realities, they aren’t known publicly because of the privacy laws. If the family court was transparent, the world would be up in arms. She needs to allow you to be there, as lack of family support as willing as you are, you absence will show that that support may not be adequate as if it was as strong and reliable to consider fully, you’d be there. Social workers can very easily skip stages of due process and present cases to rapid removal. Make no mistake in that one. She is likely still not taking this seriously and I am praying for her. A non molestation even if not granted will show she isn’t going back, alongside accessing many free courses available such as women’s aid, victim support, RISE. I did the imatter domestic abuse recovery course via Victim Support. Also start putting names down for therapy and ask the LA for access to any of their own domestic abuse courses they run. It’s about being proactive and safeguarding right now; and not being told what to do. She has a chance to turn this around; and if she doesn’t start to make these overtures then the risk of removal is extremely high.

Thank you. She has applied for but been rejected a non molestation order. She believes 100% at the moment that she won’t go back and she knows how high the stakes are so I truly hope she doesn’t.

@Silencedmummy that all sounds awful - I hope it all works out for you too. He won’t be even given access to the child - he has a much older child he doesn’t see (isn’t allowed without supervision).

My fears are 1) that ss will see the risk as too high even if she doesn’t see him between now and the birth. 2) she does see him again 3) I am asked to look after the child/supervise her. God it’s all just awful

The child protection conference is to discuss and plan ( make a,written agreement) of how your daughter will look after and protect the baby.It s legal requirement for the child's future care and will be signed off by a judge.The ' order' will be reviewed approx every 6 months and can be changed depending on the outcomes reported to the panel from the previous 6 months ( ie supervision order,no contact with father).
SW are there to ensure the order which is agreed is adhered to.
SW are there in a capacity of ' policing' the terms of what will likely be a child supervision order.

The order is from the courts which should state father should have no rights of any contact with the baby.
Nor should he have any rights of access to your daughters home as its also the baby's home.( adress can legally be either from him)
Even although your daughter has requested you not to attend,you should. At the very least ;contact the named SW and give an account of your perspective on the whole matter.You likely have ' rights to attend'( legal term).
It s likely you will be very involved in supporting your daughter with the baby, therefore a 'significant person'( legal term) in the child's life.
If I was you I would turn up.
A hearing is convened ,so that the outcome is in the best interests of the child, not in the best interest if your daughter.
It s important for you to understand the system of child protection.
You are likely to be the main source of support for your daughter and the baby in the future.She may not know that now however .Everyone else at that meeting will welcome you .

Sorry that should read the baby's adress can be legally withheld from him

Find it hard to believe she was denied protection from this man(NMO).
Did she tell you this,??If so she s not applied for one ??? She s perhaps confused/ emotional/ acks understanding/ unsure about everything.
Sounds like she needs a lot of physical and emotional support and understanding.
If she doesn t uphold and follow through on a child protection order she s risking her baby being taken from her at birth ( there will likely be a CPO in place for the birth).
If you step in as " kinship carer" for the baby it would save baby going to foster care.You and your daughter would work with Social services in the best interets of the baby.These documented terms( carer/ adress/ who has access/ what terms ie supervised how often contact / with whom etc), these terms will have 6 monthly ongoing reveiw by a ' child protection panel"
Baby would only be returned to your daughter after a very long protracted period of supervision, when courts are satisfied your daughter is a fit mother( she would definately not be safe if she continues a relationship, even a distant 1 with baby's father.)

Will the father be allowed to see the child?

It seem a weird juxtaposition... courts routinely mandate that children see abusive fathers, yet a mother could lose her child because she sees the abusive father.

We ve been infirmed he s v violent so perhaps???But only if he applies to the courts,gets legal representation, goes through lenghty procedure and sticks with it ( very long and protracted given his history).
Even then ,again ,given his violent history ;terms of Contact with the child would likely be in a protected enviroment ( SW Care centre) and always under direct contact ( SW in room at all times).
He would never be allowed to see the child on his own or have direct contact with the relatives or vist the adress ( which is witheld).
Police would arrest .
Most individuals in this situation don t follow through as their main aim is to have interaction with their previous partner.
They are in a low minority the cases that have genuine remorse and want a relationship with their child.

The plan that comes out of the CP Conference will most likely stipulate that your daughter must not see him again, and that she has agreed to that and understands why. It's possible not much more will happen at that point beyond making review arrangements, possibly referral to a DV programme and advice around protective orders.

The main point is that the plan is effectively an agreement that SS will use if she doesn't keep to it. So if she does see him again, SS can take the plan in front of the judge as evidence that your daughter won't protect her baby from this man - it gives them more evidence and leverage in court to have gone through a formal process.

If there's no evidence she has any contact with him between now and the birth, it's highly unlikely the baby would be removed at that point. It's likely (but it depends on SS's judgement) that some level of visits/monitoring will take place after the birth. Midwives and health visitors will be aware and will be monitoring and looking for signs they have been in contact too.

Any sniff of in person contact between them will lead SS to escalate their concerns, and that could lead to removal at birth and exploration of other family members caring for the child, although there are other options (mother and baby assessment homes, for example).

I'm concerned your daughter is excluding you as she will likely need all the support she can get if she's genuinely to stay away from him.

This isn’t right. It isn’t a judicial process and doesn’t go before a judge. The ICPC involves a chair, the social worker and any other professionals involved. It’s reviewed regularly - every 3 months - but there will be core group meetings in the interim. A child supervision order is an outcome from PLO: your daughter is not at this stage so disregard this.

Encourage your daughter to engage and follow all professional advice.

This is the correct system in Scotland.
The case of child at risk would be by warrant and go before a court sherrif( a judge).
The judge would inform the "reporter"( to the judge) to convene an urgent Children Panel hearing to consider the outcome for the best interest of the child.( this requires to happen within 48hrs of the case being brought to the attention of the sherrif from the police or SW.
The Children's hearing panel ( usually 3 lay people who ve had specialist trainig),are tasked with considering/ questioning all relevant people involved in the child's care.( a children's panel hearing)
A decision would be made on the outcome immediately following discussions
The "reporter" to the Children's panel would inform the judge of the outcome.
This is a legal procedure.
The panel have more rights in this process than SW / sherrif officer and act by delegation from the courts.
This is a legal process in Scotland.

I should say this is why ,in some circumstances, legally ,a newborn can be seperated from the parents.
All hearing outcomes have to be in the best interest of the child.
Of course it would require to be 3xtreme circumstances and parent/s not following the terms of the child protection order which is in place.
But yes,it is very much a legal process.

@ToYouFromMein England a child protection plan results from a child protection conference. It is not a legal order and is a step (or two) before the court system. Unless op has said she is in Scotland your advice is confusing and does not work the same as an English child protection plan

@namechange272727 OP didn t mention where they lived.
They requested advice ;therefore I gave information avail to me,to the best of my knowledge.I was trying to be helpful.
I did advise that I thought it important they inform themself of Child protection procedures and that they contacts SS and attend the case conference .That is important for the future support they MAY choose to give in assisting and supporting the babys mother in the best interest of the child. I stand by that info and advice.I expect CP procedures are different in other parts of the UK.However I did advise OP to research the procedures.
As I m in Scotland these are the procedures in place here.