Son has told his father he’s got ED

[AwkwardEquestrian]

I’ve NC’d for this and my apologies if it’s rather explicit for some.

My 21 year old son confided in my DH today that he’s had erectile dysfunction for about a week now. He basically cannot ejaculate, which is making him anxious and bad tempered as it’s obviously a release.

For context, he doesn’t currently have a girlfriend and has been working with my DH for the past eight months in his business.

He had been on ADHD medication for about a year, which he said was really helping with focus and productivity, but a month ago we persuaded him to come off it as it was increasingly changing his personality for the worse. He’s now going to be reassessed next month.

I’m hesitant to think it’s withdrawal causing this though as it’s been nearly a month, and he really seems back to his old self again now.

I’m a bit stumped and obviously can’t talk to him myself about it, so I wondered if anyone on here had had experience of ED, and could possibly share what caused it and how long it lasted.

Could it be depression? The longer it goes on the more pressure he might put on himself and thus it keeps going round in circles.

Isn't the best advice just to suggest to your son that he speaks to his GP about all of his medical issues?

Oh dear - that’s a worrying notion.

Yes he said he has been feeling down, but that’s expected as he’s withdrawing from medication. It’s strange as he looks so well - colour back in his cheeks, sense of humour back. It’s really like we’ve got our son back, so this is a bit of a curve ball.

That last comment was for WhamBam. My DH did suggest going to his GP.

Ok so medically this is worth taking seriously. If he physically can't ejaculate. My husband is an osteopath and it's one of his important screening questions - sorry I don't know what it's screening for but I know it's an important question he asks

Your dh is disgusting for even discussing this with you, if he did.

This isn't something that you need to insert yourself in, nor discuss with anyone... especially strangers on the Internet.

Sit this one out. Your son didn't release nor confide in you with this information.

Stop spreading it around. Try to delete this post. Your son may stumble upon it.

He'll figure this out ... perhaps with the help of professionals..and his father.

I came here thinking ED was Eating Disorder 🤷🏻‍♀️ imagine my shock!

Yeah I think you need tread carefully, he trusted his dad, but not you… so your husband needs to encourage him to book a go appointment… maybe he can offer to go with him and sit outside if he wants support…

it’s actually good that your husband discussed this with you, as you can give him the odd nudge to check in on your son and make sure he’s booked an appointment!…

Maybe your husband could suggest your son has a relaxing bath or listens to music or something to relax, or downloads a well-being app to help him relax …. The first occasion of ED may have been a fluke and the rest psychological ?!

Defo GP though encase there is a reason like depression…. And surely he didn’t just stop his medication?? You’re supposed to ease off these meds gradually … like lower doses or half a tablet, or one every other day etc

What did your DH say when your son said this?

edited to add: this was a man to man conversation. Yet here you are, the mum, fretting. What did his dad say?

Surely this is a private matter for your son and his doctor!

You persuaded your son to come off hia ADHD meds?

You are making a thread about his ED?

He went to his dad, not the doctor?

You all sound enmeshed. Poor guy.

Why on earth do you think you know better than his prescribing doctor and have persuaded him to come off adhd meds??? They are not sweeties. If HE felt he wasn’t himself and didn’t feel the benefits outweighed the side effects then HE needed to speak to his specialist to discuss alternatives.You have possibly screwed him up mentally and physically.

Depression is certainly a possibility and can be exacerbated by removal of meds but again, his private medical issue to discuss.

please don’t get involved with this when he has chosen not to confide in you and encourage his dad to get him back to his adhd specialist as well as his gp.

Oh my gosh you're getting a hard time here op. It's really uncalled for.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with your son going to his dad before the doctor. It doesn't signal enmeshment, what a ridiculous comment. It shows a high level of security and trust being able to open up about such a sensitive topic.

A lot of people decide to take their children off adhd meds when they see how it changes the personality. There is nothing wrong with this either, he may be an adult, but he's a young adult with a diagnosis, so therefore vulnerable. You are within your rights as his mother to want what's best for him and to open these discussions with him.

Now, I have nc for this, to tell you that my brother once had a similar issue. Nothing to do with adhd meds, but from a young age he suffered with ED. It continued for years and he thought it was a lifelong problem, thought he'd never have a girlfriend or kids. It was all due to anxiety, which all then led to severe depression. He managed to break through it one day and is now married with kids.

So yes, it can be due to anxiety or depression as suggested above.