Adult DD diagnosed with chronic pain

[Gardenalia]

My DD30 has developed fibromyalgia. I am struggling so much with knowing that she is in pain constantly and always will be. I’m supportive of her emotionally and a bit financially, always looking for stuff to be grateful for and to look forward to. She is an amazing woman with a loving partner and loads of good friends, so she doesn’t rely on me, but we’ve always got on very well so we are always in touch.

But will I always feel so heartbroken for her?

I understand how you feel. My (much younger) Dd has been diagnosed with a medical condition that will probably be life long and possibly negatively impact her future. If I think about it too hard it makes me very sad. We are two years down the line and it is less hard and easier to see the positives in her life. She has been so incredible and that helps. I try very hard not to dwell and enjoy her and her life as it is. It could be all consuming if I let it.
This is new for you. It will take time to come to terms with it. Do all you can to help her, it will make you feel better.

I’m so sorry your DD is facing this so young, that is very hard, for her and for you. Thank you for replying. Time and acceptance help with this I guess, and being proactive whilst also not dwelling. It’s early days for us (two months). I haven’t found sharing my sadness with anyone - even my DP, who is not her dad - is of any help, is that normal?

I do find talking about it can make me feel lighter. I bottle things up terribly and get very anxious. It can’t actually fix it though so I know what you mean. The issue still remains. If it’s not helping you right now then that’s your ‘normal’ and that’s fine. Talking with close family can be difficult because they are as worried as you are. You end up feeling like you are burdening them. I have a friend who’s Dd has the same condition so I find that helpful.

Thank you, that’s both reassuring and helpful - I’ll try to find a support forum, I found them v useful in the past when one of my other DC had cancer.

Good luck to you and your lovely DD.

I hope you find something that works for you. It’s worth a try. I found the internet forums difficult as they seem to be full of people who were living the absolute worse case scenario. I found it very depressing. There was not a lot of people on there who had positive stories!

Point noted, thank you! You are very kind ❤️