Confused

[user1485851222]

My DC is mid 30's, single, good job, own property, doesn't live near. Only see about 4 times ago, calls regularly at least once a week, sometimes 2-3 times. We are very similar in personality, say what we think etc, but i cant help thinking when we see each other they don't particularly like me. Always quick to critique, "you speak before you think", etc. They will often ring to discuss something they are thinking/worrying about, but often just to say it out loud, when I give advice, it can sometimes be taken in the wrong way. I often feel they dislike me, find me annoying & just see me as it's time they did. They do end call with i love you, after I've said it, but I'm not sure they do. After 48 hrs in each other's company I know they are wishing to leave & sometimes I am too.

I find this with my oldest. In a way we are very similar, and I think that’s why we clash.
The younger generations think very different to us, we will never agree. And often when they are asking advice they don’t really want your advice or opinion, they just want to vent. To be honest, I found this with my dad too.
I wouldn’t worry, I see it as normal after talking to many of my work mates.

Thank you. I totally agree, I love they have their own opinions etc, but their comments can hurt and they don't see this, it's just mum being mum. Happy new year

Thank you. I totally agree, I love they have their own opinions etc, but their comments can hurt and they don't see this, it's just mum being mum. Happy new year

This could be me and my mum! I do love her as my mum, but as I’ve got older it’s really obvious that we’re totally different people (we would not be friends irl, or if we were colleagues etc) and do have totally different views on the world, even though she would say we’re quite similar. When I was younger I think this was easier as I was younger, less my own person, still viewed her as mum - now I think it’s more difficult because I see her as a person with flaws (like we all are!) rather than someone to be revered. I still enjoy seeing her but sometimes I get the same feeling, that we don’t really like each other 😂

I can be like this with my mum, I absolutely love her to bits and she's my favourite person in the world (bar my own kids), but my god she can annoy me with her ways sometimes 😆 try not to take it to heart.

Re the advice thing, I'm also the same if feeling particularly negative about something, I feel like her advice is useless and won't help, but that'll just be in the moment, and yes you're right in saying it's because I just want to rant about it at that time. I'm absolutely sure it doesn't mean your dc doesn't like you. I'm about the same age as your dc btw.

Not just me then good to know. Happy new year

Not just me then, good to know. Seems more common than i thought... Happy new year

It seems more like you irritate each other. I think I irritate my DC tbh and my DM irritates me. He calls you and sees you regularly and must appreciate the relationship. Can you tell them you don’t like x and y comment?

We do tell each other when we don't like what the other one says, but I get "you are too sensitive", " self pitying ". So I more often than not, keep my thoughts to myself. Happy new year.