Paying for holidays with adult children

[Hol82]

Hello, I’d like some advices please.

We have 4 kids. 3 of them over 18, one is under 18. The oldest one already graduated and has good job, average salary. The second one doesn’t bother to finish high school, she left us to live on social housing and goes on benefit, not doing any work although she has no issue with health. The third one is studying in university. And last one is still in high school.

Obviously when they were all under 18, we paid for everyone when they went on holiday with us. I just don’t think it’s fair to pay for all of them now, especially the one who doesn’t bother to work at all. The eldest one would totally contribute, but the second one won’t, although she gets a lot of money from the government while doesn’t do anything (believe me when I say she gets more money than the salary of the eldest one). And I think we should still pay for the one who’s still at university as she works but is only able to pay for her own accommodation and some extra bits.

My wife still said we should pay for everyone (and maybe get the eldest one to pay a bit more), but I am just not happy that the second one gets everything while doing absolutely nothing…. Please let me know what you think.

‘need to go to the job centre and then say I can’t work because my back hurts’

I think it’s best if you don’t go on holiday with someone you are so nasty about and who you describe with such distaste.

I’ve had to support a relative to apply for benefits and of course it was nothing like the way you describe it.

Mine are 35,32 and 28 and they still want to come on holiday with us….bringing their kids along now as well…..lots of adults holidays with their parents

I think most adult children, if spending their own money, would prefer to go on holiday with their friends. Usually the only way adult children go on holiday with their parents is if the parents are paying for it.

Edited as duplicate post.

We have booked a villa for next summer and paid for flights for DD17 because she is still at college.

We have invited DS20 and his GF but they are paying for own flights and we've told them we expect them to pay for own meals and drinks if we go out ( in reality we will probably treat them to a few meals and will take it in turns to cook at the villa to keep cost down)

The older two should pay for themselves if they want to go, they may not want to, they might prefer to go away with a partner or friends instead.

If your second oldest got a full time job paying the minimum wage and was struggling to pay their share then I would help with the payments.

I would pay for the two DC still in education.