Hi
Im hoping for help with an issue and would like some advice based on facts and and outside perspective if possible.
I have an 18 year old step daughter and 3 other younger children in the house (2 step 1 mine and my wife’s ) .The 18 year old has an alcoholic / drug using father and is always in trouble with the law and unfortunately she has chosen to live life in a similar way to him. She has a bad drinking problem along with stealing, general lying and getting into trouble.
She lived with us on and off but came back when she was 17 and I agreed to it based on no more trouble at my door, no more late night visits from the police and if this happens when she was 18 then because of the disruption to the other kids and our lives she’s going to have to find alternative accommodation.
In pretty short order the police are back at the door and she’s causing trouble in the house , she’s still drinking heavily when out and Iv had enough now of the effect on the other kids as well as the relationship with my wife.
We have tried to help her, we have tried to support her, help for her from alcohol servcies , social services and councillors but we can’t change her.
My wife wants her to stay but now she’s an adult and I have already given her the ultimatum along time ago Iv had enough and as much as I want to support her I don’t think it’s right to be doing it in the home with the younger kids anymore. They shouldn’t be waking up to the police banging on the door regularly.
The rest of the kids are also dragged into it and so are the schools because TAFs were set up to support the eldest
The more my wife talks me out of finding her some alternative accommodation I feel unreasonable but I don’t know anyone in this situation and no one can really relate so I’m talking my self into just living with it.
Any views in either direction are more than welcome
Sorry for the rant