Support thread for those with NC children

[Sundayafternooning]

My son in his thirties has blocked the entire family and will not be coming home for Xmas for the first time in his life . Fortunately, I have other children but it’s still heartbreaking. Anyone else in the same situation, perhaps we can help support each other.

So sorry to hear that. OP . Yes we’re in the same boat. The heartache never goes away.

Thank you. Do you mind me asking how long it’s been going on for you?

2.5 years for the no contact by my daughter but it was difficult for a few years before that. Look after yourself. You’ll get blamed on here by the mother bashers who’ll be along shortly. There are some helpful boards on Facebook which are members only e.g. estranged parents uk.

I can’t imagine why anyone would “bash” you, although I do admit that I have seen it happen.

I can’t imagine jist hiw awful it is for you

Until you’ve been through it you can’t imagine the pain and the stigma that goes with it. You must have done something terrible for your child to cut off contact goes the argument. Well no actually. I just don’t happen to think you can change your sex for which I am cast into outer darkness in favour of people who think pumping your body full of opposite sex hormones and cutting off healthy body parts are a good idea.

It’s like a death but you know your child is still out there. I don’t think I’ll ever be happy again.

You will be happy again in time, I hope. You learn to live with it, although anniversaries and family times like Christmas will always be tough. Look after yourself and don’t blame yourself.

It’s a massive trend among the younger generations to go “NC” instead of working through difficulties in relationships and it’s being spread by social media. (Just to be clear, before the pile -on starts, I don’t blame anyone who cuts off contact after serious abuse.)

I’ve just started a thread about this. It hurts and yes, it does feel like a bereavement.
I was hoping that DC would get back in touch at some point.
Is that it now?

There are a few Facebook groups for this which Ibhave joined. It really helps.

2 x ds's who have gone nc with their whole family.
Except 1 ds who sees his dgps. The ones who rewrote his childhood. And made it into a one in which they gave a shit. They really didn't. They do now he has a good job and money to splash.

@Sundayafternooning please can you give me an idea of some terms to search in Facebook groups?

Parents of estranged children uk .

How is everyone doing? This will be the first Xmas my son will not be home ever in his life. He has blocked the entire family. I can't imagine he's happy at the moment either. I feel so sad.

This situation can be called estrangement of course - because it is - but would be better described as losing your child to a cult. I hope that one day you will be reunited, and that until then you can find peace, meaning and purpose elsewhere. Bayswater, Our Duty and Genspect are good sources of support.

Also, Sarah Mittermaier writes beautifully about estrangement for parents of gender questioning children here:
The Story of Estrangement: Why the Parents of Trans Adults Stay Silent - Fairer Disputations

Hope your Christmas goes okay.

I'm so sorry. Exactly the same situation here. Literally heartbreaking.

Thank you for sharing that. Really useful.