Parents staying at uni accommodation

[Howdoyoulikeyoureggsinthemornin]

Hi all,

My son is 20 and lives in a large student house with a lovely bunch of youngsters. I have visited a couple of times and always stay over in a hotel about 15 minutes away from his.

I recently visited the house to pick him up and another mum was there. We were chatting for a short while and then her daughter came down the stairs with her mums suitcase. She said she had been staying over for a few nights and was getting ready for home.

I'd never even considered staying over at their house before and wondered if anyone else has or does do this? My son said she has stayed a couple of times before and his other friends sister has too. Is this the norm? He's my eldest so first one to go to uni away from home. Thanks.

My daughter is currently doing a house share with some friends for her 2nd year. I haven't been up to stay overnight as yet but if I did I know she would say its okay for me to stay with her at the house in her room. She has a double bed in there so I wouldn't have an issue with staying there with her. And I am pretty sure that her friends there wouldn't mind me staying either.

I guess if everyone else is okay with it then its fine IMO.

Where would she be sleeping when my DD was living in student accommodation like halls I just slept on the floor but it was only for one night.

Private rentals - I think it's quite normal for friends to stay.

I think parents are a bit different though. I know the rest of the occupants can be asked if they are ok with it, but some may be a worried about saying no. And if it's ok for mum to stay, is it ok for dad to stay? Few student rentals have enough suite bathrooms etc

@Seeline see I would stay with our daughter in her room but my husband wouldn't for obvious reasons.

Also in my daughters house, the boys all have the top floor with their own bathroom and the girls have the middle floor and their own bathroom. So I would obviously share the girls 'floor' and their bathroom. So I wouldn't be near the boys at all other than in public spaces.

So for me it would work. But definitely not for my DH, so I think it definitely does depend on the circumstances and set up etc

I’ve stayed with my dd, my friend stays with her son, as long as they and their housemates are happy what is the problem. In fact my dad stayed over a few times when I was at university, was a 3 hour drive so he would come up late Friday pm and liked a night out!

I stayed in my daughters halls with her, we top and tailed in her bed for one night then when she was in private rented accommodation I stayed over in her double bed. In halls she had an en-suite and in the rented house it was all girls anyway so bathroom no problem. Her dad never stayed over and I don’t think it even crossed his mind to.

My son was at a uni a lot further away and I stayed a few times in his rented house on the floor on a blow up mattress but not in his halls as it was so small you could barely lie down (LSE overpriced airing cupboard). So I tended to get an air Bnb with my daughter he would stay with us.

Thank you all for your comments. My son is gay and stays on the girls floor but has his own en suite. I may consider this option and save myself some money moving forward! Depending on when I stay, Manchester hotels can run expensive.

I have stayed in DS house share. I slept on the sofabed in the lounge and took them all out for brunch the next day to say thank you.

No problem at all.

I stayed in DDs various student digs several times over the years. Sometimes for fun, to take her out for dinner/drinks, sometimes when she was unwell, after an operation. I either slept in her double bed with her or spare room when there was one.

DH never did this. I think it’s a bit different with a bloke and house full of girls.

My son’s student houses were so disgusting I didn’t even want to use the bathroom there after a long drive. No way I would have chosen to sleep there 😬

Same!

I wouldn't, but I have all boys and can't drive so would never go on my own to visit them.

Absolutely not. I’m not sleeping on a blow up bed! Premier Inns don’t cost much but I can see London prices are difficult. My DD had the mum of her flat share come to stay and sleep on the lounge floor on a blow up mattress. It was my flat but DD was ok about it. London.

My children are first years in halls at Russell group uni and the uni has said it’s ok for adults to stay one or two nights in the halls with their child as long as they get prior permission. 2nd year rental contracts for private rentals says similar - 1 or 2 nights ok if longer need permission from other residents on house

Can you not use public transport?

Yes i could but it's so expensive. It's loads cheaper for me to go in the car with dh.

I did as my DD had a spare room (too small to rent out) - there were only 3 of them sharing so it wasn’t weird. I wouldn’t particularly want to stay in her double bed with her, but if I went up on my own to bust id probably risk it(!) for the night as about £200 cheaper than a hotel!!
DS has stayed over and he slept on a blow up mattress in her room, friends stay on the sofa.

I’ve never done this with either of my kids, I think they’d have been horrified at the suggestion 😂

Ultimately it depends what your YP and ALL of their housemates are happy with - it’s not fair to do it unless they’re all on board.

I wouldn't do it as it is not fair on the other students

I wouldn’t, my son would be mortified.

Why does he stay on the girl’s floor? 🤔

honestly, the fact you’ve not been invited to stay should tell you all you need to know.

You mean he sleeps on the floor? What??

I don’t think it’s right tbh, and really uncomfortable to have other people’s parents staying over for days at a time. Awkward and embarrassing. Friends staying over is completely normal. Unless you are on a shoe string I would never ever do this.

My mum stayed in a friend's room (who was away for the weekend) when I was at uni. I used my spare set of sheets for the weekend and then washed them.