Thread 55 - Covid GCSE Cohort - Autumn 25 - Yr 4 Uni and Graduates

[Oblomov25]

This is a support thread for our young adults post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting, and their results ( or life updates for those who went into work or have had results earlier). It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, uni vs employment please don't within this thread.
Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue. We were previously on the secondary board and then further education, now we shall be here in 'Parents of Adult Children' gulp
Our DS/DD may continue down various pathways ( employment, apprenticeships, higher ed). Experience is that everyone is welcomed wherever, whatever their child is doing we have some in work, gap years , apprenticeships etc too. Lots of contributors with different experiences and always sympathy and advice to be had.
Previous thread 54:
Thread 54

Sorry for the contacts trigger @Piggywaspushed! I mean ‘contacts’ in a very broad sense - someone you know’s husband, your kids’ friends’ parents etc - that’s the only sort of contacts we have. Plus contacts the kids have made on LinkedIn - there’s always the odd person who’s willing to help! I mean if someone cold contacted me on LinkedIn, I’d probably be quite impressed and I’d put a word in for them! Not that I have any hiring power or anything …

I know he ideally needs paid work full time, but if your ds is only getting 16 hours, could he use the other 25 hours of the working week to volunteer/get experience? I totally get that his confidence must be shot, but being in a different environment might give him a lift ?

It’s definitely a tough world out there.

i don’t think your ds has left it too late though - he just needs a break. It will happen!

In better news, dd has an interview with MIND next week. 🤞

Actually, thinking about it, DS did get a 4 week PT contract in summer 2 years ago at the place he was volunteering at, I'd forgotten that. Also, depending on the job, a significant portion of what he puts in his job applications is from his volunteering. He has done some training courses through them as well (H&S etc). In fact his main volunteering role he was put onto by one of his hockey team mates whose partner works for that organisation. And I do the thing of following likely organisations on FB and looking out for opportunities for him. However I suspect he doesn't come over well in interviews, he sounds a bit downbeat, struggles with eye contact (autism), uses a lot of filler words such as "like, you know" he could really do with some proper coaching, but I haven't got much interviewing experience.

It is extremely tough out there. We have no connections for anything but sometimes casual acquaintance pay off. Re the police application, our local starbucks interim manager became quite chatty with us. He wanted to join the police - he had a degree and wanted to get a job with prospects and a future. DH was in the police before retirement and although he joined in the 80s through a very different system he mentored him through the tortuous application process and helped with practice questions and the guy starts this month with West Yorkshire. @piggywaspushed my DH says he would be more than happy to help your DS1 if he wants to reapply at any point.

DS enjoying Easter break from teaching. Rowing a lot. GF up again this weekend. Hmmm is all i can say on that!! Been almost a year now. He is still waiting on armed forces and some Masters applications. Has been doing some private tutoring over the break which is good for the bank balance. Kids of teachers at his school.

I've had a rubbish Easter. Found a lump where a lump shouldn't be and am once again on the 2 week pathway for cancer check. Hey ho!

I think that’s really positive @EndlessDistraction- that he’s using experiences he has volunteering in his job applications. The thing about work experience, paid or unpaid, is working out what skills and behaviours you’ve learned/used and talking about them in the context of job you’re applying for. If your ds is clear about this, that’s great. Interview technique is a challenge. I’m sure there is help out there but I don’t know where!

Oh, hope all will be OK. Fingers crossed for you .

Re the police, I don't think DS is very committed but thanks for the offer. A big issue is there is nothing he really wants to do. He gets momentarily excited about a few jobs and then gets knocked back so the desire goes again. The online tests just make him very angry so actually put him off the whole workforce!

DS's only actual connections are in education and he hated working in a school in student facing roles. He applied for a few exams officers, data assistant type jobs and got nowhere. Having worked for well over a year for Dunelm he also doesn't seem to get a leg up on any of their back office type jobs. God knows what will happen. He can't really do volunteering (if it existed locally) because he does spend a good chunk of his non working hours applying for jobs. Madness. He is incredibly demotivated. It has always been his personality type anyway but this magnifies it. He can't get past sift even on things I think would quite suit him like probation officer.

Forgot to say, but good luck to all the interviewees!

Thanks @Piggywaspushed. Hopefully get appointment soon. If your DS changes his mind the offer is always there. Those questions are very tricky and I know DH got the guy he helped to 94% on the initial test. I wish our DS wanted to join - my dad was Police too and it can be a great career but he just isn't interested yet. I think if it doesn't involve coxing a boat then its not for him....!

@craggyrat Everything crossed for quick tests and clear results.

@craggyrat sorry to hear that - hopefully you won't have too long to wait 🤞🏼

@craggyrat sorry about the lump, I hope you get tests etc quickly. We have been impressed with how fast DFIL has progressed through the system with his recent cancer diagnosis, first alert to surgery has only been a few weeks.

@Piggywaspushed Yes, the applications are time-consuming, my DS is fortunate in that he knows what he wants to do and is applying selectively so not too many, hence having time for volunteering, it also means he can choose relevant volunteering, but I am worrying that DD has no idea whatsoever and may find herself in the position of applying for things with no real enthusiasm. I do agree about casual acquaintances though, I talk to people I meet about DS and every now and then someone will pipe up and say they know someone somewhere that might be able to help, mostly it doesn't come to anything but it is worth doing.

Hope everything is ok @craggyrat 🙏 A friend had the same a couple of weeks ago and it turned out to be benign.

Ds has police detective on his long list… I think it might well suit him. DD’s boyfriend’s dad is in the police so I’m hoping he might be able to give advice. I’m also always talking to people about the kids’ career aspirations - people at church, work, those I meet at conferences etc. You just never know who might be able to help.

@Piggywaspushed what do Ds’ friends do? Could any of them help him get an ‘in’ somewhere?

He has two friends locally - mentioned upthread. One does God knows what , having dropped out of uni and the other one is the one who works in Tesco. Both are quite odd boys. Neither have connections (apart from the Tesco lad seems to think his brother is getting him an interview of some kind).

His mate he sees sometimes in London who he went to uni with is the one with rich parents. He works at Trailfinders Travel (the aforementioned company who only shortlist people who have had gap years in specific places!) and, frustratingly, that's a job DS flagged up to him!

That's it really. One other acquaintance who he goes to football with who is a maths teacher.

What about ds2’s friends and/or their parents/girlfriends etc? The partners or children of your colleagues at work? I’m not a natural networker but I’m trying to improve as it’s so useful - it also got me my last three jobs 🤣

I think maybe it’s hard too if you and dh have always worked in schools as I think the culture is quite different from a lot of the rest of the workforce and different skills and approaches are required. Ask on here though too, we must represent a huge range of careers between us.

Genuinely, crazy , I do not know any parents and neither do my DSs.

DS2 has two friends round here : neither have useful connections to DS1. We aren't sociable people really. DS2 will be all right because he can send speculative emails : that's how journalism still works (although they mostly ignore him! And one guy hasn't paid him for a rugby SM live report and match report...)

The only useful connections either DH or ( have are in education and, believe me, no one wants DS1 back in schools! My colleagues at work are teachers and I don't really know their partners - those I do are teachers, generally, or work in jobs where you can't recruit in an informal way.

I think DS needs leaving to it. Something will land eventually. Although yesterday he claimed he would be in 'indentured servitude for life'! I was quite impressed by his vocabulary. He doesn't actually even really understand why anyone wants to work. Unfortunately for him, that lifestyle isn't fundable as he isn't aristocracy.

Funnily enough, DS did get headhunted via LinkedIn - for a job he had already applied for and been rejected!

He told the guy this , hoping he might say 'apply again' . Sadly not.

He needs to not admit that next time! 😂

He definitely needs to not admit that

I don’t know my kids’ friends’ parents @Piggywaspushed - but the kids do and they’re the ones making the contact, asking for experience etc. I was suggesting it as something for your Ds to do - but I get you’re probably fed up of trying to help and you just want to leave him to it now! He sounds like a late developer so I’m sure he’ll get there eventually.

Ds seems to have totally mastered the art of making contacts which is part of why he seems to be sucessful and dd wasn't. I know the industry he wants to go into is a bit different (music performance and production) but he has joined dozens of facebook groups, adds people on social media, answers tech questions, strikes up online conversations with people working in the industry. Messages people who might need his type of service and just generally networks, I don't know how he does it to be honest.

One prestigious job he got because he did a favour for a friend who he had met online. This friend was about to start a masters and needed something doing for free/cheap, ds did and the friend went on to do his masters and get a great job and reccomended ds to his company.

He needed to because the guy was just telling him to apply. He did do it in a very careful way. The guy himself wasn't going to read the applications ! He probably sent messages to 100s of people.

I realise I sound stubborn, but my DSs definitely do not know their friends' parents, other than one who was their driving instructor.

I do definitely think arts and music is a different world. It is what is simultaneously wrong and right about it.

Apparently, though, he has just had a phone interview. Receptionist at a podiatrist. They told him they had 12 people to interview . But at least it's an interview, I guess...

That’s good @Piggywaspushed - good luck to Ds for the interview!

That’s great @Comefromaway ! I do think getting into the workplace is a weird combination of faceless AI and real life contacts these days. We’re about to recruit someone to support me at work and my boss said if I know anyone who’s interested, to make sure I let them know as they much prefer to employ people who are known to someone - which does make sense. It’s less of a risk. But this is for a qualified role, not grad level.

Fingers crossed for him @Piggywaspushed

Knowing other parents is one of the (few) unexpected benefits of the DCs being ND - I was involved in organising DS' social life till a much older age than usual and all his friends were ND too, so I did make acquaintances with other parents at secondary school age, and through his sports and hobbies. I acknowledge that this is highly unusual though.

Has he asked if the places he applies to give interview questions in advance to autistic applicants? Might be worth asking, it's how DS got his place.