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Parents of adult children

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Original poster

Rent/house keeping

88 replies

Bushwoolie · 02/10/2025 08:57

My eldest is just starting work and will bring home approx 1600p/m (take home)

I have always said that once any of the kids are earning, they should pay "keep". This isn't a post asking whether people believe it's right or not. I know it generally divides the masses.

I am just asking those who do charge their adult children, how much do you charge?

He has other outgoings he'll be taking over from me. Car payment/insurance (335) and phone bill (38). I have been paying those the last year (phone longer).
He will be putting 300 into an ISA each month and 200 into a regular savings account to cover any large expenses (if the car breaks down etc).

My aim is to put half of what he pays to one side and gift that to him when he moves out. The remaining will probably just go towards our food shop 😂

Thanks!

OP posts:
Viviennemary · 02/10/2025 09:02

That's quite a lot of savings to,start off with. I think a smaller amount for a while amd let him enjoy his salary. But if it's savings for holidays clothes and the like that's fine. So I would charge around £200-£300 a month as his contribution to household expenses.

AngelsWithSilverWings · 02/10/2025 09:37

My DS19 is on £26k p/an and we charge him £200 p/m. It's just a token amount really. I'm saving this and will most likely use it to help him buy a house or pay towards a wedding. He is also saving a good amount himself into an ISA every month as is very focused on saving for a property deposit.

Burntt · 02/10/2025 10:00

I was charged £300 the going rate for a room in a shared house at the time and expected to do more than my share of housework. My parents then also thought they could set rules and curfew like I was a teenager. I’m still bitter about it.

If I can afford it I’d save the money I charge my kids in keep but I’d definitely charge 50% ish if room in shared house at the I’d expect them to do their share of housework and cooking (I would buy food). It’s part of adulting paying rent not a skill they should miss learning

WYTrio · 02/10/2025 10:15

Burntt · 02/10/2025 10:00

I was charged £300 the going rate for a room in a shared house at the time and expected to do more than my share of housework. My parents then also thought they could set rules and curfew like I was a teenager. I’m still bitter about it.

If I can afford it I’d save the money I charge my kids in keep but I’d definitely charge 50% ish if room in shared house at the I’d expect them to do their share of housework and cooking (I would buy food). It’s part of adulting paying rent not a skill they should miss learning

Yeah, I'd not charge the market rate either, partly because you are living at home and like it or not that is a different dynamic to being in a shared house. It's a token that's getting them ready for living independently.

But also because of factors market rents are ridiculous at the moment.

I would put the money aside if I was comfortable enough to offer them later should they need help with, say a deposit or similar.

lilibet · 02/10/2025 10:16

We take all the bills and divide the total between the number of adults in the house. This is reviewed every April. It keeps their focus on turning off lights etc. At the moment it comes to £240 a month.

We don't charge 'rent', just a share of all bills

TheLovelinessOfDemons · 02/10/2025 10:17

As I earn very little myself, I would ask them to buy any expensive food treat items, otherwise £100 a month.

TheNightingalesStarling · 02/10/2025 10:21

An equal share of utilities, council tax, Internet, subscriptions etc
Plus a nominal "rent" for the room.

Nocookiesforme · 02/10/2025 10:39

My DS earns about 2k per month and we ask for just £200 monthly. He buys 95% of his own food, 100% of own toiletries etc and covers his own expenses. He also saves a lot towards a house deposit.
The £200 covers gas, electric and water which are all metred and he does like two long hot showers each day so we feel £200 is fair but we also have to pay higher home contents as he has a very expensive phone, computer & home entertainment set up.
DS thinks it's fair and happy to pay that and adds a bit more if he's cost the household more like in summer when he runs an air conditioning machine when working.

HerbertVonDoodlebug · 02/10/2025 10:53

DS1 (18) has just started working, he brings home around £300/week and pays £50/week housekeeping. We pay all utilities, groceries, phone etc. He doesn’t drive yet and doesn’t really spend anything or go out, so should be able to build up a decent savings pot. Am expecting he’ll try to skip the expensive rental stage and go straight to buying in a few years.

PanicPanicc · 02/10/2025 12:48

It hasn’t started yet but once DD finishes uni and starts working FT it will be £50/week, which will include all bills + food.

It will be reviewed a year on in case she doesn’t want to move out (she doesn’t have to, it’s just that she keeps going on about moving abroad). Ideally I’d love to set it aside but I’m a single parent and have credit to pay off.

Northernladdette · 02/10/2025 15:04

£60 per week

amigafan2003 · 02/10/2025 15:06

Bushwoolie · 02/10/2025 08:57

My eldest is just starting work and will bring home approx 1600p/m (take home)

I have always said that once any of the kids are earning, they should pay "keep". This isn't a post asking whether people believe it's right or not. I know it generally divides the masses.

I am just asking those who do charge their adult children, how much do you charge?

He has other outgoings he'll be taking over from me. Car payment/insurance (335) and phone bill (38). I have been paying those the last year (phone longer).
He will be putting 300 into an ISA each month and 200 into a regular savings account to cover any large expenses (if the car breaks down etc).

My aim is to put half of what he pays to one side and gift that to him when he moves out. The remaining will probably just go towards our food shop 😂

Thanks!

My son has just finished college so we started charging a token amount (100quid) from September. It will go up 50 every six months up to a max of 700 until they move out. Intent is to give half of it back to him when he does move out.

We don't pay for any of his expenses.

ByRealLemonFox · 02/10/2025 15:08

My son earns £26k as a degree apprentice and he pays me £200/month. He saves £1k minimum each month and pays part rent on a car workshop for his car. I kept his rent low on the provision that he saves for his own house and is in a position to move out a year or 2 after he graduates. The £200/month that he pays me, i am putting away to add to his deposit, but he doesn't know this.

KmcK87 · 02/10/2025 15:09

My SS is almost 18 and earns a fairly decent wage which will go up and we’re planning on taking £100 off him towards food and utilities which have increased since he moved in with us full time. Not sure how it’s going to go since he already can’t make his wage last the month but I’m fully on board with adults working full time and contributing to the household expenses.

Frankenpug23 · 02/10/2025 15:10

It doesn’t leave him much for petrol and a bit of ‘going out’ money and clothes.

My DS earns 1800 a month he doesn’t drive so he pays for his phone £50, and I charge him £150 a month. He saves £500 a month and puts £200 into his holiday fund. He has £900 to do what he likes with - but very often saves another couple of 100 at the end of the month as he doesn’t spend it all.

My DD is an apprentice on £1300 a month I don’t charge her anything at all - but she pays for her car and phone.

hairyunicorn · 02/10/2025 15:12

My son is about to start his apprenticeship, he will earn 26k pa. I will be charging him £200. pm plus £80 towards his Gusto meals.

UrsulaBelle · 02/10/2025 15:26

My DS pays me £250/month which covers main meals and all bills. 25% of council tax as I got single person discount before he stopped being a student. I'm not on a lot of money myself so need this contribution. I'm not saving it for him, it goes towards bills and food.

julieh1968 · 02/10/2025 15:30

2 children, eldest has been working a couple of years and pays £200p/m plus her car, insurance, phone etc. she also buys some of her own food and make up etc but I do buy general toiletries.
other daughter has just finished uni and about to get first months pay, she is working p/t at the moment and hours will vary each month but should bring home around £1200/£1300 p/m. This month is a freebie but going forward next month will pay insurance £120, once she picks up more hours then she will start paying car and then ultimately rent. Difficulty for me is should rent me the same amount as her sister if overall wage is lower.
intention with both is to give it back when they move out

latenightscrolling · 02/10/2025 15:30

My daughter earns around the same and she pays in £309 to our joint account. To be honest that covers the food/drink/water/electric she uses so it’s not like we’re benefiting from the payment. She does save but £500 a month savings initial is quite a lot. Her car payment is also significantly less. So I’d say definitely no more than £300 a month for your son

ccridersuz · 02/10/2025 15:31

Mine have worked since the age of 13, supported them through school and college, once they were working, (but, not full time) it was £25 a month, going up to £50.
I only started charging them more (twins) when both of them got a full time job and we agreed £150 a month. Although my eldest lad negotiated it down, due to the size of his bedroom. (And had some back at the end of the month, occasionally).
However, I was in for a shock when they both moved out, total amount saved from utilities and food a month was over £700+.
My electric bill alone dropped by £300 a month!.

Lesson learnt…… Especially, if you struggle to pay bills.

CrowLeftOfTheMurder · 02/10/2025 15:32

I suppose it depends on how responsible you think they are with money. I know he's technically an adult but once he does move out he'll likely find he has very little if any disposable income after living costs.
I would aim towards something realistic and save whatever you can afford from that for him without telling him. That will give them a good foundation to curb spending.
I don't think £200-£300 is unreasonable. He'll be paying for his own car/travel and phone and putting money away to save so £300-£400 left is a month is a large amount of disposable income for a normal wage even if it sounds harsh.
Obviously we all want to support our kids as best we can and make thing's as easier wherever possible but in all honesty we need to give them realistic expectations of adult working life so they can cope with it all later in life.

latenightscrolling · 02/10/2025 15:32

latenightscrolling · 02/10/2025 15:30

My daughter earns around the same and she pays in £309 to our joint account. To be honest that covers the food/drink/water/electric she uses so it’s not like we’re benefiting from the payment. She does save but £500 a month savings initial is quite a lot. Her car payment is also significantly less. So I’d say definitely no more than £300 a month for your son

Typo - supposed to say £300 not £309 lol

julieh1968 · 02/10/2025 15:32

ccridersuz · 02/10/2025 15:31

Mine have worked since the age of 13, supported them through school and college, once they were working, (but, not full time) it was £25 a month, going up to £50.
I only started charging them more (twins) when both of them got a full time job and we agreed £150 a month. Although my eldest lad negotiated it down, due to the size of his bedroom. (And had some back at the end of the month, occasionally).
However, I was in for a shock when they both moved out, total amount saved from utilities and food a month was over £700+.
My electric bill alone dropped by £300 a month!.

Lesson learnt…… Especially, if you struggle to pay bills.

Wow how much was your electric bill

Nina1013 · 02/10/2025 15:35

If I was charging it, I would make it a % figure - 20/25% of net wage.

Confusdworriedmum · 02/10/2025 15:35

£150 a mont. Only 1 DC working at the moment and she also pays for her phone and travel expenses. If she wants alcohol or expensive food she buys that too.
She is saving £200 a month as she wants to start driving lessons after Christmas.