Talk me down please!

[AgathaBisquit]

Single adult (mid 20s) DD lives 40 mins from us and has done since uni. She's now moving 2 hours away and I am beside myself with worry. She's going to a new job, new area, doesn't know a soul and will be living alone. She's had a recent health scare and we spent some time in hospital. I'm so scared about her being so far away, her safety and her health. I know that I'm being ridiculous, but how on earth do I manage this anxiety? I don't want to say anything to her and burst her bubble as she's so excited.

I'm not here with my kids yet and I know I'll be terrified. But I dimly remember that moving away from my home county started one of the best periods of my life and was key to growing up.

I don't know how we can convince you.

She has clearly already lived away from home for several years and managed fine. Unless she is moving to a war zone, I am not sure why you would think she won't be alright in her new home ?
You should be excited for her in the next chapter of her life.

2 hours is still a 'there and back in a day' distance, and she is moving for an exciting career move, which is a really positive thing to have in her life.

There is nothing here to be concerned about.

Rationally I know that you're right, and visits aren't an issue. My fear is about something happening to her and not being able to get there quickly

How does your DD feel about the move?

And her health scare?

She's very nervous about living somewhere new and the logistics of getting to the job, but it's an area she wants to work in so is looking forward to the actual work. She's pretending the health scare didn't happen! It did, and could happen again...

Realistically how is the extra 80 minutes it’ll take you to get there going to impact her if she has another health scare? Obviously if she’s prone to heart attacks and you’re a cardiologist that’s understandable….. I’m guessing your presence wouldn’t be saving her life though. Will you never travel anywhere just in case?

You'll find it hard at first, but you'll get used to it. She's doing the important work of launching, and it sounds like she is doing great!
After all, you got through all the other stages of her development, including letting her pick herself up and fight her own battles. Now she will monitor her own health, and seek her own healthcare, and you will be there to guide and be proud. She is clearly not incapable, you don't think that, so don't internally act as though she is.