Adult DS job woes - how do I support?

[BatsInMyBelfry]

My DS is 23 and has just finished uni. He struggled at school due to his ASD and was horribly bullied, however he found his people at uni and got a great degree, and was due to start a grad role end of this month which involved relocation to another part of the UK. I was so pleased for him that against all the odds he’d secured his dream job and was looking to a very bright future.

Until this week. He was brought onto a call with other potential new starters and told that for a number of reasons his role “might” not go ahead. He will find out next week once a decision is made by senior management. The company have said that he won’t be out of pocket…but relocation was a huge deal for him and now his job may or may not happen!!! As an individual who can’t deal with uncertainty very well this is awful for him.

I don’t know how best to support him, he’s in pieces and to be perfectly honest so am I, but being equally upset isn’t going to help him. Anyone got any pragmatic advice as to how I can support him through this?

Your poor son. It's so tough for them all at the moment.

Has he already relocated? Do you still have space for him to come home and stay so at least he has that security?

If he's relocated, is there lots of work in that area that he can look for?

Leaving him in such an awful uncertain position is so cruel - but that seems to be employers at the moment.

You can only be there for him - emotionally to listen to any rants/anger, and practically if he needs help moving back etc.

Hi. This sounds really hard for you both. I have a 24 year old son and he was let-go from an apprenticeship after only 3 weeks. I was really upset for him, he wasn’t so bothered!
I suppose the best thing you can do is look at his options if the role doesn’t go ahead. Sympathise with him but try to appear upbeat and positive.
Ask him what ekes he thinks he could do now.
Sending best wishes.

He has already relocated but he has the option to come home at any time. We live rurally with limited public transport and he doesn’t drive and there is plenty of opportunity for work in the area he’s relocated to so that might be the best suggestion if it’s not good news next week. It just seems so
unfair…but I guess that’s life. I will be on standby to support him as he needs. Thank you for replying.

So sorry your son was let go, it’s so tough for young people at the moment! Sending best wishes do you both too.

It's really hard when they get let down like this. A couple of years ago my ds was verbally offered his dream job with the premier football ( talking about you Leicester city football club ) team he had followed since being a kid. The team then got relegated and the job was no more. they had strung him along for a good couple of months. He was absolutely gutted, depressed and embarrassed etc as he had told friends . I was furious but ultimately nothing that could be done. He found a job with another club and has since moved into a different area of work and is doing well .Your son will find something else and move on.

Thanks. This was a few years ago. He’s now in a full-time civil service job. He’s more confident and has grown up. But it was a worrying time.
Your son will work things out, in time. It is tough out there at the moment, but with our support. They’ll be ok.

Sorry to hear this, I think DS feels like this too. He’s a resilient lad and I know he will move onwards and upwards but I think at the moment it’s the end of the world! Thanks for your reply.

So sorry this has happened. What was the point of telling them before a final decision has been taken? Are they hoping that some of the new starts might willingly go elsewhere (other job/masters)? Are they offering deferral until the next year or other different job with same company?

I would probably help mine out with all the admin to let them focus on looking for a new job (I'd get mine to tell them that I give permission for o my mother to negotiate all aspects of ensuring that they are not out of pocket and I'd be very thorough. I wouldn't rush to get out of leases etc if it suits you DS to be in this area for new work. I would also ask for company to give as much help as possible (recruitment consultant/HR).

No help to your DS now but I had 2 friends this happened to in the 1980s. One got a huge payoff (75% of full years salary) and then bizarrely 6 weeks later got job offer again (no need to pay back anything). The other didn't get a generous pay off and it took him a few months to find something but has done super well (considers he actually dodged a bullet).