I’m accusing you of ableism because your comment absolutely reeked of it, and to be frank, the fact you have now announced you are infact not NT, makes what you said so much worse on an even bigger scale. We have to navigate this world with uneducated people, people with outdated views and opinions and you would hope other ND people would understand that, and not pass off the same old damaging rhetoric that’s been used against us for decades. Unfortunately, this doesn’t seem to be the case here. I couldn’t give an ounce of a care that your partner has ADHD, if you are comparing his behaviour with this strangers son online. If you have met one person with ADHD you have met one person with ADHD. You, as someone with a neuro divergent diagnosis should be well aware of that, and realise that what might come quite naturally to your partner, doesn’t to thousands and thousands of other adhd diagnosed people around the world.
Aside from all of that, your original comment was neither helpful nor informative. Just a criticism really covered in judgement, ‘ so he’s a full grown adult’ all things I’d have a good guess the OP already knows, and already has thought about telling him to grow up and get on with it. Not going to work, for most ADHD people anyway, not your partner who’s cracked doing life with ADHD.
Im so confused at your point about women , because I agree women do not get the same treatment when it comes to,anything really let’s be honest, but when it comes to adhd, the reason it’s so highly diagnosed now is because for years and years the diagnostic criteria was gender biased- girls present very differently to boys and this has literally in the past 5-8 years only been researched and introduced into assessment criteria.
I myself am a mother of 3 daughters, who has struggled through my life for 35 years to get it to where it is now. I have been close to breakdowns more than I can count and I’ve done my best for my girls when I’ve physically and mentally felt at my worst. But even feeling like that, feeling like I’ve been let down by services my entire life, by my school, work, family, I’d never use that as a reason to turn my nose and not extend help and support to someone suffering the same disability as me because they happen to be a man. You are angry that as a woman who’s ND you have been treated poorly so your response is to offer that same treatment to another ND individual who’s struggling? Makes absolutely no sense. No matter how disenfranchised I feel by the way systems have been created to actively go against me, I’d never take that out on someone in a similar position? I’d fight the top, I’d rally for change and try and get the people that actually can make a difference to how we are all treated ,to hear me, what good does it do offering out useless, damaging advice and the reason behind it being ‘ yeah well I’ve been treated worse?’ Failing before you have even started , and the rich powerful people creating all these living conditions laugh and carry on.
Maybe read back at my earlier response in a few years when your partner inevitably does reach a point where he’s struggling ( because ADHD, diagnosis and medication isn’t linear, as I’m sure you know being ND) and take some advice from it, because its not diagnosed and medicated and bam I’m cured! It’s a life long disability that requires constant work and adjustments to try and thrive in a world that isn’t made for us.
Hope that helps, I’m sure it won’t but I’m bored now ( adhd! ) so won’t be responding.