Ok. This is going to be hard. My ex husband had an affair and left 14 years ago. Our girls were 9 and 11 at the time. That relationship ended and he met another lady with mahoosive house, polo ponies, stacks of money etc. She is a solicitor in the pharmaceutical industry. Two sons from different fathers. Both spectrum.
they both tried to financially and psychologically destroy me. She represented him in court and they took me to court about 20 times over numerous allegations. They took youngest daughter for six months in an effort to force the sale of the FMH. But girlfriend was insanely jealous and routinely physically, emotionally and psychologically abused daughter culminating in her being dumped home with all her belongings at 7am one Saturday morning. Nobody heard from or saw him after that - nearly 10 years ago. Daughter has really struggled ever since l, has had therapy and is still on antidepressants.
I won the house btw.
Fast forward almost ten years and both daughters suddenly get a text out of the blue from their father asking if he can re-establish his relationship with them (same message, name changed). He says his partner was an abusive narcissistic and controlled his life, not allowing him to contact his daughters. Apparently he’s been really unhappy and is very sorry.
He’s written me a letter to apologise and ask for my guidance in regaining a relationship with the girls (who are adults now), and thanking me for raising them (?patronising!) Eldest is ok with it and says if he makes an effort she will too. Youngest has gone into a tail spin and is really struggling with his return. As am I.
Can anyone advise on the best way to approach this whole thing and a plan forward? I want to do the right thing but have no idea what it looks like. I don’t want them to think they are in the middle or have to ‘choose’.
*This is only a very short version of the astonishing pain and abuse we all suffered at the hands of him and his awful partner.
Thanks for reading.