Grandkids. None yet

[Glissed]

I am 67. 3DD, 2 are in Aus and eldest here is about to start Fertility treatment age 38. No gkids...😫. Only started to feel this when all my friends kids are sprouting loads. I have never mentioned this to any of them. I never ask, grateful for whatever info they want to give me...I really miss being around young families🤔

@Glissed words fail me. Having grandkids isn't the be all and end all in life

They don't owe you grandkids but I do get you are mourning the loss of a lifestyle you thought you might have had.

Maybe see if you can volunteer at a local school. They often have people in to help with reading practice.

Why not volunteer for Sure start or similar?

More and more women are choosing to be childfree- including me 😊

I know.its not be all...and they don't OWE me gkids. Intensified because I retired recently I suppose. I suspect ones in Aus will become pregnant first. Done the journey to Aus once, not my favourite pastime 🙄

I can completely imagine how sad you feel. As a dd to a marvellous mum, can I tell you how incredibly grateful I was not to be constantly harangued about “producing grandchildren” like some of my friends.
You are doing the right thing. Nothing you say will change the likelihood of your kids having babies - no one has a baby to please their mum!

Some older neighbours of mine run a mum and baby and toddler group at the local church community centre, once a week for two hours. They are marvellous. One of them organises crafts, one organises the play area, another makes tea and squash and serves milk and a mid-morning snack to the little kids big enough to sit at a kids table.

Then at the end the ladies run a circle session where we all sing songs with actions, a lady reads a story and says a prayer.

Could something like that work for you?

Thank goodness you don't ask them about it. I had to tell my MIL straight about the very personal and difficult struggles I'm having re children, because she wouldnt stop mentioning it. It was extremely upsetting for me.

Also, not everyone wants kids. They're a huge responsibility and very expensive especially these days when you can't get by on one income, and childcare costs are extortionate.

Go and make some friends with young families if you're missing that.

I did that when my kids were small. I don't think I could cope with the noises of more than 1-2 little ones now... sensory overload 😲

My kids only had one grandparent, DH Dad. Mine had both died before they were born. Nobody wants mums advice but I envied those who had their mum's support.

Oh behave.

Obviously it isn't but the OP is allowed to want grandchildren and be a little sad that she hasn't got any. Would you say that to a woman who wanted children and couldn't have any?

No, they don't OWE you grandchildren but many of us would love them and what they bring to a family. Most of us have grown up thinking we would have them. Its not wrong to feel a little mournful that they may not be on the cards.

Let the OP feel how she wants to feel about this situation without being judged FFS.

Some heartless responses here. I'm a mother but far from being a grandmother. I think some women look forward to becoming grandparents in the same way they look forward to being parents. And if they enjoyed being parents, they presumably wish the same joy for their own children.

My parents' neighbours have two girls the same age as me and my sister. They've been so lovely when I've visited with my children. As us kids all head towards 50, I see how hard it is for them to come to terms with never becoming grandparents themselves.

I understand why you are sad.

Could you volunteer in your local primary school? That would be around young children and be helpful?

Nobody has a right to grandchildren (just as they don't have a right to children).
You may or may not become a grandparent, OP, but please don't see your own children only as a means to grandparenthood. And please don't ask them about it, because there's nothing worse.

You can't live your life through others, but if being around young people is important to you, why not volunteer with a charity for children who really need some support?

Glissed I hear you.
No one said our dcs owe us anything.My DM has 13 g kids and 6 great g kids.
We don't have grand dcs yet Our ds is gay with no interest in dcs.
Our DD lives miles away and potentially will try to have dcs in a few more years.
I think many people do hope g kids will come along.
Meanwhile I enjoy the peace.😄

I'm 65 and would like grandchildren. My DC are 30 and 27. It is, however, entirely their choice and dd isn't even married yet.

I hope, however, never to have grandkids.

DS will be on another Continent by September, so unlikely to see much of them when it happens. He is married.

Thanks, that kind of reflects how I feel. It would be nice,if im going to be a grandmother, to be young enough to be an active one. And the only one of mine likely to have kids lives abroad. If it happens it happens, and it's their lives and choice, but i can be secretly sad that I might not be. And no, my life is not defined by it, it's not empty but it might be enriched by grandkids.

I am confused. You sat you would like gkids but later you say, you hope they don't.

Is that because they won't be nearby and you don't want Transatlantic travel to beme normal ?

No, because my DC don't have cloven hooves and therefore the possibility of them producing kids or grandkids is very slim. It was a bit of a joke.