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Parents of adult children

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Ex toxic and controlling

3 replies

NosyJosie · 27/07/2025 17:58

My ex has a very poor relationship with my daughter based on his disapproval of her poor choices over the teenage years. They now see eachother only a few times a year and every cycle is the same: there is a huge build up to all the fun things they are going to do and how he’s going to help her find a car or other promises. Then when she goes to stay he criticises and belittles her. She is doing great now and getting a qualification in healthcare but he will drag up previous school problems and say it’s pointless and why study when she should just get a little job. He never delivers on promises made, often forgets to take off time from work so isn’t available much during her visits.

When she was little I tried to keep the peace because teens are hard but it is heartbreaking seeing her disappointed time after time. She sees the pattern and is talking about going no contact now after the last falling out. That is a big step and I am afraid it will backfire on her two younger siblings who are still at home and see him more regularly. They are golden children and he treats them completely differently. However, they are observing and gradualky pulling away from him as they hate the way he treats their sister.

how do I navigate this?

OP posts:
BeeCucumber · 27/07/2025 18:02

You don’t navigate this. It up to your daughter to manage her time with her father.

Bingbopboomboomboombopbaam · 27/07/2025 20:07

If she’s an adult now just let it be. I reconnected with my father in my 20s and he’s a good grandfather, but he was a bad father and I don’t really regret not having him in my life before.

NosyJosie · 27/07/2025 20:54

She’s 18 so yes technically an adult.

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