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Find my Friend app - controlling?

7 replies

Whattodonext101 · 16/06/2025 12:50

Summarising to stay anon, posting as always feels like this is a bit of a safe space 🌺

mid thirties (yes really) with “own life” albeit no children yet but hopefully in the not too distant future, parent has me on find my friend but stopped sharing their location a while back, regularly checks in on me and uses it against me, I feel like I am trapped and if I spend time with friends instead of see the said parent they are snappy with me. They don’t tell me they look on it but I am sssuming they do, it used to be used as a one off when we would all be meeting up but now I feel scared to delete it because said parent is known for “falling out” with the adult children over things and giving silent treatment.

please tell me to grow up and remove it, I feel suffocated and my anxiety is awful, does anyone know why I am feeling like this and why I feel guilty for having my own friends and interests etc? It got to the point recently where I would put my phone on airplane mode just to hide what I was doing as I felt guilty for not seeing the parent, even though I regularly see them and we do lots of lovely things together

I should just delete the app altogether shouldn’t I? But even then I feel like I need a reason 🌺 thoughts would be so welcomed xx

OP posts:
IberianBlackout · 16/06/2025 12:54

Of course you should.

MummaMummaMumma · 16/06/2025 13:01

Yes, this is controlling.
Delete it and don't feel guilty. You don't need to give a reason to them.
My dad is similar. He means well and worries a lot, but is very insistent on knowing where I am at times etc. Even though moved out many years ago, have a husband and kids!
Would say things like "why were you on WhatsApp at 4am? Are you ok?" Just drove me mad. Talked to him about it, but he didn't see anything wrong, just a caring dad.

Whattodonext101 · 16/06/2025 17:07

Thank you so much, you’ve really helped me rationalise this x

OP posts:
Holluschickie · 16/06/2025 17:08

Mid thirties! omg. Delete it. Unless you are hiking in the Amazon.

Cynic17 · 16/06/2025 17:11

Delete it immediately! This is outrageous. Your parent does not need to know where you are,and if they fall out with you that might be a blessing.
Grow a backbone, OP......

Whattodonext101 · 17/06/2025 16:26

Thank you 🥹

OP posts:
whynotmereally · 17/06/2025 20:40

Me and my dds all have it but it’s consensual. I can ring dd1 if I know she’s wfh but not if she’s in the office. It’s easier to see when someone will be arriving when we have plans or even just see where each other are. None of us have an agenda.

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